"Metamorphosis" of "Young Women in Literature and Art" Residing in the Village
Leng Juzhen (third from left) and villagers in the sunflower field.
Photo courtesy of the interviewee
She is a "cry bajing", a "cold and bold", a "cold brother", and an "old Lai". She is the first secretary of Xiaonanhe Village, Raohe County, Heilongjiang Province, and a national outstanding Communist Party member Leng Juzhen
She used to love photography, dress up, and never leave her hands. She was an out-and-out literary young woman.
But in order to lead the villagers to get rich, she came to the village at the end of 2015.
In the past 6 years, she has tasted the ups and downs, from a fashionable and exquisite woman to a "village woman" with gray hair and rough skin. The former poor village has also become one of the first key rural tourism villages in the country, and the whole village has received tourists accumulatively. More than 50,000 person-times, income nearly 5 million yuan
Our reporter Chen Cong, Hou Ming, Wang He
"Why savor the bitter moment, why bother about the past, the river does not flow back, the past can only be forever..."
48-year-old Leng Juzhen once had a dream.
When she was 15 years old, with a dream of being a writer, she put this debut in an envelope and planned to submit it to the local newspaper.
Dad took advantage of her carelessness to open it secretly, and then told her to stop dreaming.
When she woke up from the dream, the TV that was still on in the room was guarding her, and the night of Xiaonanhe.
He walked out of the small courtyard by the village with those worn out black sneakers, and in the distance was a bright moon on Dadingzi Mountain.
"Crying Bajing"
At 9:51 am on July 29, 2021, we came to Xiaonanhe Village, Raohe County, Shuangyashan City, Heilongjiang Province along the footpath in the fertile fields.
As soon as the heavy rain stopped, the big sun was anxiously covering the top of the head, and there was no trace of rain left on the hardened road in the village.
Walking into the small yard by the village where Leng Juzhen lived, I saw a village woman about one meter tall, holding a small rusty hatchet, arranging the low wooden fence of the yard.
She shaved her unkempt head, put on a faded light purple short-sleeved shirt on her upper body, a pair of black sports pants on her lower body, and a pair of blue plastic slippers on her feet.
"Wait a moment, I'll wash my face. I don't know what's going on in the past two days, my face is a bit swollen." This is the first sentence "village woman" Leng Juzhen said to us, bright, happy, and carrying The loud voice of the villagers.
A big water tank in the room settled the slightly rough time of the owner.
Leng Juzhen scooped a scoop of water from the water tank and poured it into an antique-like pink plastic basin. She spread her legs and lowered her head like a soldier and quickly wiped out two faces. The sweat on her face became full of sweat. Drops of water, a drop of water reflects the face of the dark crop.
Xiaonanhe Village is located at the foot of Dadingzi Mountain on the bank of the Ussuri River on the Sino-Russian border. A Nanhe and a Beihe are next to the village and flow into the Ussuri River.
Chop up a grain of soil in Xiaonanhe, half is crying poor, and half is drunk.
Nearly 20,000 mu of barren hilly land, about 90 dilapidated adobe houses, and more than 400 people in the house where cats drank, played cards, and played mahjong during the slack of the farm... However, Leng Juzhen’s came here early 6 years ago. In the lens, it is all the beauty here: clear water, green trees, antique woodcuts, and clouds quietly passing over Dadingzi Mountain, suitable for photography and more suitable for tourism development.
Leng Juzhen, who doesn't leave the SLR camera, often says that he is a "photographer," and the character is followed by the er-shaped accent that people in Northeast China are accustomed to.
The villagers called her various names. The villager Chen Zhaojun, known as "Chen Xiaosier", gave her the nickname "Cry Bajing".
"Cry Ba Jing" means crying ghost in the Northeast dialect.
On December 3, 2015, Leng Juzhen invited Ying from Shuangyashan City to come here as the first secretary of the village.
Chen Xiaosi'er opened the door of his small shop and caught a glimpse of this stranger in the city for the first time.
She was wearing a fashionable long fleece down jacket, her curly hair was draped over her shoulders, her face was white with makeup, she was holding a SLR camera in her hand, and wearing a pair of snow boots, and then she stopped after walking a few steps. Keep shooting.
"I wonder if we can shoot at this time." Chen Xiaosi'er didn't look at that pretentiousness.
Before Leng Juzhen finished the filming, the village rumors seemed to have feet, chasing her: "I heard that this is a new village cadre from the city, who brought 20 million yuan to the village! "
At the end of December, villager Li Zhonghai's home, "Titanic hit an iceberg".
Leng Juzhen, a young literary girl, officially met with the old and young men in the village at this party member and villager congress.
The paper that had been prepared was crumpled by her, and she held it in her trouser pocket. She took it off and introduced herself.
After just saying a few words, villager Chen Zhaohai interrupted her: "I heard you brought 20 million here?"
Leng Juzhen laughed and laughed: "I don't have any money. I'm here to take everyone to work."
Chen Zhaohai scowled, "What are you doing if you don't have money?" He slammed the door and turned to Chen Xiaosi'er's small shop.
The small shop has a few mahjong machines that everyone in the village loves.
Chen Xiaosi'er himself is not unfamiliar with that stuff, but he just can't hold back his neighbors. It is during the slack season in the winter, when everyone is all right, they gather to play mahjong. There is a mahjong machine to save trouble.
Leng Juzhen's "fun" continuously poured into Chen Xiaosi'er's ears from the mahjong table.
"Our village wants to set up a tourism association, and 7 departments must be formed. If you join the association, you will have to pay 400 yuan!"
"I heard that some photographers will be invited to take pictures. I think that Secretary Leng is going to be a tourist, and he will get pornographic in two and a half days."
"It was said that she wanted to take the old village chief Sun Guiling as the chairman. The old village chief did not agree. She looked at the large cabinet and she cried so much. Later, she cried several times. The old village chief had no choice but to agree to her. !"
"What kind of secretary is she? I think it's just a crying spirit." Chen Xiaosi'er couldn't help but interrupt.
This "cry bastard" is very fond of big guys in meetings.
At the beginning, she put forward a lot of ideas about the development of the village, but the villagers stunned them one by one.
She said that Xiaonanhe villagers planted too much corn, and if the harvest failed, the villagers would not be able to make money.
Therefore, it is necessary to adjust the structure and "drought to change water."
The villagers objected: "The village is full of hillocks. If you want to change the paddy field, you need to have irrigation facilities. How can you change it if you don't have money?"
She said that we should not mention how beautiful our house is in the eyes of photographers. We should develop tourism photography like Xuexiang and attract photographers to take pictures. When there are more people, it will become popular. We can open farmhouses and run homestays.
The villagers dismissed: "Is the farmhouse what we are doing all this time?"
"At that time, I didn't dare to cry in front of everyone, so I hid in my room and cried secretly." Leng Juzhen said.
Chen Xiaosi'er didn't know that Leng Juzhen cried even more presumptuously in the old house that was as cold as an ice cellar, in front of the computer screen on the big kang.
"Cold and Bold"
Secretary Leng wiped his tears, and we ran into it during the interview.
But from her mouth "can't do it", we didn't listen to it once.
To talk about celebrities in Xiaonanhe Village before, Dong Lianying is one of them.
He has a lively personality and loves Zhang Luo for happy occasions. He is a capable man in the village.
Within a few days, "Cry Ba Jing" was going to set up a tourism association also spread to Dong Lianying's ears.
Like many people in the village, Dong Lianying looked at the cadres who came down wearing colored glasses: "I just come to get a gold plate, stay for two and a half days, eat for two days, and then leave. Three trips are the most."
Everyone talked in two sentences, and everyone's heart was in harmony: Don't get started and don't participate in the tourism association.
As the new year approached, Leng Juzhen proposed to hang up lanterns and arrange corn skewers in every household, then paste New Year pictures and spread the northeast large flower cloth to create a taste of Northeast New Year, so that photographers outside can take pictures. , Let the beautiful scenery of the village "swipe the screen" circle of friends, and use the folk customs of the Northeast to create an online celebrity check-in place.
The lanterns were bought, and the villagers swarmed around to take them away, but they didn’t hang them.
The old village chief Wang Wenshan was the rescuer moved by Leng Juzhen.
When Lao Wang saw that something was going to be wrong, he quickly called Dong Lianying: "Come here, Brother Zhonghai, and help Secretary Leng think about it."
As a result, Pharaoh played twice, but he insisted on not moving Dong Lianying.
Dong Lianying's phone rang again. It was from Li Zhonghai: "What are you doing like this, are you still tripping?"
After the call, Dong Lianying finally left.
As soon as he entered the room, Secretary Leng sat there.
Leng Juzhen glanced at Dong Lianying, and Dong Lianying also glanced at her.
"Don't look down on me, I still look down on you." Dong Lianying muttered in his heart.
Leng Juzhen went on to talk about the establishment of a tourism association.
The association has seven departments including catering, sales, and art, which handle tourism affairs in Xiaonanhe Village.
"Who will be in charge of the catering department?" Leng Juzhen asked.
"Dong Lianying." Everyone recommended Dong Lianying.
"You see the big guys say that you are a catering minister, so I will visit from house to house and listen to everyone telling you whether you can do it." Leng Juzhen "breaking the ice" with Dong Lianying.
The next night, Leng Juzhen took the initiative to find him: "I've inquired, your woman is really good, and all these women say you can do it."
Dong Lianying was not convinced, and wanted to show it.
He gave in a bit and became the minister.
The capable people in the village got in hand, and the lanterns of every household lit up the night of Xiaonanhe.
Leng Juzhen's heart also brightened: "Maybe there is no way to start with more than 400 people in the village at once, but you can start with one person. To change the old habits, you have to let them have something to do and earn money."
Leng Juzhen began to move towards the second small goal: to take a panoramic photo of "Hanging Red Light" to promote the village.
She turned her gaze to Xiaodongshan, a chaotic stone post in the village.
For several days, Leng Juzhen braved the severe cold of minus 20 degrees Celsius, wading alone in the snow without knees, and boarded Xiaodong Mountain to take a panoramic view.
After the villagers knew it, "cold and bold" became famous overnight.
On the night of New Year's Eve, Leng Juzhen once again passed through the chaotic hills and rushed back to his parents' house after shooting the night scene.
When I looked at the watch when I went upstairs, it was five minutes before zero.
The "hot" photos of "Hanging the Red Light" were posted to the circle of friends. On the second day of the new year, a group of photography enthusiasts came to Xiaonanhe Village for collection.
After that, Zhejiang Satellite TV's "We Are Seventeen" program team came to Xiaonanhe Village to film "New Year's Day". The film base and folklore location of "Heijin Tribe" landed in Xiaonanhe Village, and the tourist gate of Xiaonanhe gradually opened.
"In the past, Xiaonanhe was photographed for the beauty of the landscape here; now Xiaonanhe is photographed for the sake of the villagers." Leng Juzhen’s development strategy has been recognized by Dong Lianying and the villagers. The villagers also believe in Leng Juzhen. "It's not pretentious (note: reckless, reckless)".
"Brother Leng"
Secretary Leng once joked with people who came to see her, saying that he was a "dead pig".
"Dead pigs are not afraid of boiling water." "Dead pigs".
In 2016, from the "Plowing Day" on February 2 of the lunar calendar to "May 13th Day" and "Qingxi Qixi Festival", the number of tourists gradually increased, but the village did not yet have a decent pillar industry.
"Tourism can boost the popularity of the village. If you want to get rich, you have to rely on industry." Leng Juzhen remembered the skill of almost every household in the village-making chili sauce.
After the fall of 2016, the peppers are ripe.
When preparations such as picking and slicing are done, Leng Juzhen's pepper workshop will start.
The workshop is in the house where Leng Juzhen lives, and the two big iron pots on the Kang stove are her production tools.
There are many processes for boiling chili.
First crush the washed chili ingredients, pour them into a pan, pour out the water in the chili, add the ingredients when it is almost boiled, and then continue to boil until it is viscous and the color turns red.
This set of procedures will take less than four or five hours. Leng Juzhen and the villagers have to receive tourists during the day and can only start work at night.
It was three or nine days when I boiled the chili peppers. The water poured into ice outside the house, and the spicy taste inside the house made people feel like being tortured. Inside and out, making chili sauce was the most bitter task.
The villagers who worked in the farm couldn't stand the torment either, and left one by one.
Leng Juzhen is in a dilemma: all the good feelings accumulated from tourism have defeated this chili sauce, and the villagers said that she was "an old lady in power".
People also put the label of "black workshop" on the pepper workshop-until it gets dark, the workshop will not start.
Everything that should have been scattered was gone, and only a few "irons", such as Dong Lianying and Ma Xiaoli, followed Leng Juzhen to clean, boil the sauce, and fill the cans.
Sometimes I can sleep for three or four hours a night, and sometimes I can stay up for one night in order to catch up with the schedule.
Leng Juzhen often fell asleep in the spicy taste, and finally woke up again by the spicy taste.
Sleeping without taking off clothes became the norm, and the chili sauce was spilled on the cotton trousers, and even the dreams were hot.
Boil the peppers in a big pot, and people have to stir them from time to time.
In order to prevent the heat from getting over, Leng Juzhen was really sleepy, so she found a slender wooden stool twenty to thirty centimeters wide to lie on, half asleep and half awake.
With her sleepy eyes blurred, she often stared at the cauldron.
"The idea of smashing the pot passed in a flash. If you have no hatred with this pot, the pot is hope. It is to tell yourself that people who want to be able to do things can do things, and they must not hurt their hearts!"
"Secretary Leng, if you need it, we will all come to help, no money!" Seeing that these people suffered so many crimes to make chili sauce, some people finally couldn't stand it and asked to join in to help Leng Juzhen take the hardest part. Time to get through.
It was just like that night and night. At the end of 2019, with a total of nearly 2 million yuan from the village collective and villagers’ equity investment, Raohe County Xiaonanhe Food Co., Ltd. was registered and established, and a standardized chili sauce production workshop appeared at the west end of Xiaonanhe Village.
"Brother Leng is a true man!" Everyone's views on Leng Juzhen have changed: "What the hell is Secretary Leng who is an outsider who has thrown up his family and business? Isn't it just for our Xiaonanhe? What reason does the villager have for not being good? Dry!"
"I haven't heard of anyone in the countryside who is exhausted from work." This is a joke from "Big Brother Leng".
"Go to the extreme and break the road so that Xiao Nanhe will not die." This is Leng Juzhen's inner creed.
Just like the flagpole of the "Xiaonanhe Village Work Team" erected high by the village, watching Leng Juzhen's house and her chili sauce factory.
Having a factory building is not "sit back and relax".
How to sell the tens of thousands of bottles of sauce produced has become a thorny issue.
Due to lack of market experience, the sales channels for chili sauce were not opened. Boxes of chili sauce produced in the first year were stored in the factory. When the weather became hot, the warehouse returned to moisture and the boxes grew hairy.
"Xiao Nanhe needs to change blood transfusion to hematopoiesis, and find new ideas!" Leng Juzhen did not let go of every opportunity for a visitor to visit a chili sauce factory, and spared no effort to promote chili sauce online and offline. At the same time, she was also thinking about new ideas. Way.
Once, a boss from Foshan, Guangdong came to Xiaonanhe, and Leng Juzhen told him one interesting story after another about Xiaonanhe during the dinner.
Hearing that the boss is interested in white wine, Leng Juzhen hurriedly brought a large bucket of ten kilograms of local wine for a small cooking, drinking and chatting: This is made by the villagers of Xiaonanhe!
The boss was fascinated. He didn't plan to invest in Xiaonanhe, so he immediately decided to build a winery here!
Leng Juzhen happily bloomed in her heart, but after a few cups of wine, her head became dizzy, and she fell asleep when she returned to the house.
Woke up drunk, Leng Juzhen stood at the door of the house with a camera, taking pictures from dusk until the night was spreading thickly in the sky.
Leng Juzhen is not easy.
She knows that only by keeping the project can the hearts of the villagers be kept.
The projects led by Leng Juzhen’s painstaking efforts marked the transformation of Xiaonanhe—from opening and closing for tourism to promoting the economic development of the village’s chili sauce factory, from peony land, sunflower land and other characteristic planting, When it comes to the improvement of the environment in the village and other projects that work for labor relief, under the guidance of the poverty alleviation policy, the village task force and village cadres lead the villagers to open up the way of life.
The SLR camera of a young literary girl has also completely changed Xiaonanhe. Villagers never dreamed that the former impoverished village has now become one of the first key rural tourism villages in the country.
The village has received more than 50,000 tourists, with an income of nearly 5 million yuan. In 2020, the per capita income of poverty-stricken households is 10,600 yuan, and the per capita income of villagers is 14,000 yuan.
Yang Junhua, a poverty-stricken family member, feels deeply: "I have been suffering for half a lifetime, and I can live in a new house built by the government without thinking. I have no idea that my family's native eggs are not enough to sell, and I have no idea that joining the tourism association can enjoy dividends."
"In poverty alleviation and rural revitalization, the most difficult thing is to let the people accept us and trust us in their hearts, and they are willing to fight with us and make changes together. If you encounter difficulties, you can't lose your confidence if you fall." Leng Juzhen said.
"Lao Lai"
But it was the "Big Brother Leng" who was so worried about Xiaonanhe day and night, but one day he described himself as the "Old Lai" who was living in the village.
On June 11 this year, Leng Juzhen went to the city for a meeting.
Back in the village, as before, she took off her summer hat, took off her shoes and put on the Kang, sitting at the "computer desk" made of simple Kang tables filled with books and sundries, and started to work.
But sitting down, her eyes started to rain-from a little rain dripping to tears, her face flushed.
"Some people say that Xiaonanhe blames me for not implementing these projects... just don't believe me?" Leng Juzhen looked away and said nothing.
It was never her style to complain when something happened.
But just this night, the pungent Leng Juzhen became kind.
"Every year I plant flowers in my yard. This year, the fertilizer is too big and I haven't beaten a few bones." The next day, Leng Juzhen got up and went to the ground to pick up the flowers, making herself sweaty, but his head was rampant. But I can't stop thinking--
The industrial foundation of Xiaonanhe is not strong yet, and the villagers’ concept changes have to be worked harder. Do I still have to "lie" in Xiaonanhe?
I have been in office for two and a half terms. Some people want me to leave. Maybe Xiaonanhe will develop better without me?
She went out and walked the familiar village roads over and over again: Compared with when she first came, the dilapidated houses were gone and the lanterns were hung up; the garbage and tattered children were almost invisible, and the chili sauce factory was built; playing mahjong and drinking during the slack in the farming There are fewer villagers, and there are more flowers in front of the villagers. A team of people on the roadside is working on widening the roadside ditch. Several villagers inside are working hard.
She recalled her initial thoughts: "It used to be said that it would take five to ten years to turn this place into a Xuexiang under Dadingzi Mountain. Now it may take longer. There are no trains and airplanes in Xiaonanhe, and the transportation is inconvenient. Traveling is still needed. Professional team to operate."
After thinking about it, she still firmly believes: There is absolutely nothing wrong with her path of opening the door of the village by "hooking" people from tourism and bulging the villagers' pockets by developing the industry!
In Leng Juzhen’s vision, in Xiaonanhe in the future, three adults can eat tourist meals, three adults eat industrial meals, and another three adults eat farming meals. In the end, 10% of the people who are unable to work will receive policy subsidies and public services. Improve, relying on the help of these nine adults to enjoy better collective public welfare services.
"As long as Xiao Nanhe can move forward like this, I won't be doing it in vain."
Leng Juzhen expressed his attitude to the leaders: "As long as development needs, follow the organization's arrangements."
On June 25, the current village party branch secretary Dong Lianying happened to have a meeting in Shuangyashan City, and the wind reached his ears during the chat. He quickly sent a WeChat message to Leng Juzhen: "Sister, the work team has changed, and you are ready to leave. Is it right?"
Leng Juzhen did not answer.
A few days later, Leng Juzhen, who participated in the celebration of the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party of China in Beijing, won her latest honor-"National Outstanding Communist Party Member".
This is her honor, but also the honor of the party organizations at all levels who have been caring about her behind her.
She wrote a summary sentence in the circle of friends: "If it weren't for the village, I might not know how important it is to our career. , It’s meaningless to cry and laugh, it’s even more meaningless to look at every look, meaningless and meaningless... because we cherish it, it’s meaningless. Keeping your name, we walk together, this is a land of vitality... nothing can stop, history is rolling wheel."
Be yourself, become a "cold chrysanthemum"
Leng Juzhen likes chrysanthemums.
She said that she was the "Leng Ju" at the foot of Dadingzi Mountain, but there were three petals apart, but one petal was deep and the other two were warm.
(Next to version 16)
At around three o'clock in the morning on July 31, 2021, the time for the villagers of Xiaonanhe to go to work.
On the northeast land, summer dawns early, and before the sun rises, Shino shines.
A hundred meters away from Leng Juzhen's residence, there is an abandoned village supply and marketing cooperative.
After more than 30 years of wind and rain, the old house is an "old thing" in the village.
But it was early that morning, Leng Juzhen commanded a group of villagers to take off the roof of the supply and marketing cooperative, and while commanding, they recorded video on their mobile phones.
"The construction of the winery is finally about to start, so I cooperated with the boss in Foshan, Guangdong, and the village industry has a new path." Leng Juzhen said, the days of slack drinking in the village are really gone forever. .
"You've taken this down so much. It's been more than 30 years!" An old man from the village walked over and said to Leng Juzhen.
"Uncovered something else."
"What can be built?"
"To build a winery, I will build a building for you in a few years!"
曾经，小南河村喝酒成风，“大酒罐子”村远近闻名。每家至少有两口能装200斤的大缸，一口缸装水，一口缸装酒。那时的小南河，一年从县里买回的酒得有五吨。
从醉酒到醒酒，再到未来酿酒出售，小南河村的“蝶变”，正是中国共产党带领中国人民打赢脱贫攻坚战的缩影。
最近，新的工作队入驻小南河，冷书记要离任的消息已渐渐传开。她仍然放心不下几个项目，这个酒厂的建设就是其中之一。广东佛山的老板老板提起过给酒命名的事儿，还想叫“冷菊贞”。
小南河发展有多好，村民们不说。村西头有座厂，村道旁有花地，院子里还有个党派来的冷书记，村民们都知道。
董连营的母亲齐登兰听见风声，再看见冷菊贞，眼中就噙着泪：“冷书记，你以后见着我一次就打我一次，使劲打，这样我以后就不会想你，舍得你走了。”
这么多年过去，村民们好似变了许多，又好似没什么变化。依然有人“等靠要”，还有坐在地头骂人的，但村里接待游客没耽误，手头忙活的事情没耽误，有了项目比着干抢着干的思想，更是越来越深入人心。
“唤醒他们就是我们工作的一部分。”冷菊贞说，越是艰难的事情，越得有人去做，这样才不会被现实锁死，才能找到乡村振兴破题的钥匙。
说这话时，冷菊贞的眼里有光。
“干活儿的感觉就是光。你干活做事铆足劲儿，你眼里也会有光。”冷菊贞用那带着光的眼睛注视着我们，和她对视的时候，我们仿佛感觉到了那光里的炽热。
每一分热，都是为了脚下的这片土地。
离别之际，我们再一次爬上大顶子山。
从大顶子山上往下看，小南河村是白云绿野间一块还算方正的烟火之地。
在每个清晨和傍晚，会有摇摆的青烟穿透村口几株直挺挺的树，在密密的枝叶间袅袅地向上升腾。
夏风中的向日葵田，一起一伏，像是大地在呼吸。村庄就在这一呼一吸间摇曳着，像是浪尖波谷中的船。
栖息在这“船”里近6年的冷菊贞，每一个日夜都在创造着“生”的意义。
有时是语出急速的莽撞，有时是目光澄澈的欢朗，有时是安静与挣扎的对抗。“哭巴精”“冷大胆”“冷哥儿”“老赖”……冷菊贞用自己的方式把生命活到极致。
在大顶子山眼皮子底下生活的最后时光，冷菊贞一如平常，早起早睡。到了黄昏，趁着大顶子山遮住太阳，她骑着三轮车去离村不远处的小河沿，捡回一些被河水冲得滚圆的石子，装饰她的小院。
“沾着泥土的，就不会枯萎。”冷菊贞说。
冷菊贞拿着相机四处拍的习惯是改不掉的。她把所有的照片存进硬盘里，时不时翻看。杂乱无章的序列仅她自己看得懂，翻到自己年轻时的照片，她会快速翻过，鼠标顿了顿，她再翻回来细看。
让她为照片里那个美丽精致的文艺女青年停顿的，正是这六年的光阴。
这六年，上学期间儿子跟她一年只见一两面；到县城办事时，才能顺道回父母家看看。对老父老母和儿子的亏欠，她从不跟人讲。
这六年，她的身体、肤色、气质、乃至嗓音，都深深地打上了小南河的乡土印记。始终不变的，是每年过年给小南河家家户户拍张全家福。
“我不是一个称职的妈，不是一个孝顺的女儿。我一直想着，等在小南河做的事儿有眉目了，再静静地跟爸爸唠嗑……”
话音未落，泪水滚了下来。
弥留之际，父亲的意识已经模糊，可他嘴里念叨的，还是要冷菊贞把驻村的工作做好、做扎实……
淹没了。
在小南河拍摄留存的成千上万张照片中，那张年轻时文青范儿的冷菊贞肖像照被时光泛黄了，淹没了。
有时候，她默默把它拿出来。
一张旧照上，30岁出头的冷菊贞，单手放在胸前，仿佛正在用期待的目光，看向48岁的自己。这片刻，用粗糙的手轻轻抚摸着容颜的片刻，光阴仿佛不复存在。
近20年的时光反复搁置，又重启。经历了无数美好与挫折之后，曾经那个想成为伟大作家的文艺女青年冷菊贞，选择与内心和解，终究还是在这片她眷恋的乡野间，成为了自己。