In the "double reduction" era, are the mothers' anxiety still there?

Let’s take a look at the family of an ordinary public junior high school student

Pay more attention to parent-child time

I still collapse when I see my daughter's grades

  Our reporter Liu Qiaoyan and Jiang Yun

  The "double reduction" policy urgently stopped the brutal growth of extracurricular training.

  In the movie theater, as long as everyone is sitting, everyone can watch the movie easily.

But the parents who are trapped in the besieged city of education can't help but worry, what should they do if a parent does not sit down?

  Qian Bao reporters focused their attention on a group of families with different grades, different levels, and different educational concepts, and tried to use the educational stories of these families to answer the general background of the "double reduction" policy, where the anxiety of the parents in Hangzhou came from. Come, where should I go.

  In this article, Moon (pseudonym) studied in a public junior high school in Hangzhou, and belongs to the group of junior high school students most affected by the "double reduction" policy.

"Anonymous group" without competition

  The WeChat group that Moon Mother opens every day is an "unnamed group".

The parents of the students in the group come from other public schools in Hangzhou. Their children have the same performance level as Moon, but the schools are different, and there is no competition in the allocation of student quotas.

  This "unnamed group" is the parental network resources accumulated when the mother of the moon accompanied the moon to the training class many times.

Mothers communicate with each other in the group because they have the same goal.

  "Anonymous group" is sometimes the spiritual sustenance of Mother Moon, but it is usually also the source of her anxiety: a parent in the group has won a right for the child, which makes the mother Moon look a little jealous; what training courses other children have attended, Moon Mom will be entangled whether the moon is going up.

  More often, the "unknown group" is the most important channel for the moon mother to obtain information.

As early as the first half of the year, the group talked about the "double reduction" policy.

When the policy really came down, some mothers made a decision that seemed to her to be extreme-to copy all the online courses of a certain famous teacher with multiple mobile hard drives, on the grounds that they were worried that the online courses would be removed from the shelves.

What Mother Moon thinks is that as long as the training class is still there, she and her daughter will not give up.

This is not only about learning, but also about the circle of daughters.

  In schools, there are natural barriers between students with good grades and students with bad grades.

"The Moon is closer to the classmates in the training class. One is because there is no more competition, and the other is that our parents have created an environment and opportunities for them to get along with each other," said Mother Moon.

  Moon once proposed to play a room to escape, but couldn't find a playmate, so she could only ask her mother for help.

Mother Moon sent an invitation to escape the room in the "Unknown Group", and the mothers responded immediately and helped Moon gather a small team.

Full sprint on the road to competition

  As the moon grew older, she became unwilling to accept her mother's arrangement.

Especially since the beginning of last fall semester, the Moon confronted his mother in order to gain control over his studies.

  Mother Moon can only find all kinds of excuses to enter Moon's room to see what she is learning.

Sometimes it’s fruit, and sometimes it’s milk.

  Mother Moon is sometimes very pleased and feels that her daughter is a child who can learn on her own; sometimes she sees her daughter making some unreasonable arrangements and feels very broken.

  The daughter refused to accept the academic arrangements from her parents. This incident was sent to the unnamed group by the mother of the moon, which was envied by many parents.

Some people think that this is a manifestation of children's self-consciousness, because their children must be arranged by their parents every day.

  Mother Moon understands the child's sense of pursuing independence, but she can't help being anxious every time the child takes an exam.

  The moon is already very good.

However, regardless of the quiz of the Moon Grand Examination, every time before the result, the mother of the Moon will prepare herself psychologically, and then collapse instantly when she sees the result.

  If the exam is good, Moon mother will consider how the child can do better in the exam; if the exam is not good, she will be depressed for several days.

Occasionally, the child's grades are unexpectedly poor, and Mother Moon will attribute the problem to her.

  "There was a math quiz. The moment I saw the results, the whole person was discouraged." Mother Moon did not blame her daughter that night, but locked herself up, recalling the investment in her daughter over the years. It costs 100,000 yuan to make up the tuition fee alone.

At that moment, she even felt that the investment was not worthwhile, so it was better to save the money and give her daughter as a dowry in the future.

  Moon's grades will fluctuate, and even her mother dare not open the school's mobile phone software for contacting parents.

Every time she receives a message prompt, she will subconsciously hand the phone to Father Moon, "Look at the results, tell me if you do well in the exam, don't tell me if you don't do well in the exam."

  She even cared about those achievements more than Moon herself.

She believes that in the past, the kind of things that did not work hard in the first and second grades, and suddenly struggled to counterattack in the third grade, are becoming more and more difficult nowadays.

The happiest "parent-child time" of the family

  Moon mother said bluntly that "double reduction" will not essentially affect her daughter's learning rhythm.

"Continue to the training class in the middle of the week, and check the missing and fill the vacancies on the weekend. You still have to learn what you need to learn."

  As soon as the "double reduction" policy came out, many mothers expressed support for the increase in evening self-study in schools.

However, Mother Moon has her own concerns-"If both meals are eaten at school, the girl is at the stage of development and nutrition cannot be guaranteed."

  As a member of the family committee, Mother Moon has seen the process of purchasing and cooking in the canteen, and feels that the food in the canteen can only provide the most basic nutrition.

She hopes that the children's dinner can be more nutritious.

"If the diet problem is resolved, we will consider letting her go to study at night." Mother Moon said.

  Speaking of the "parent-child time" mentioned in the "double reduction" policy, Mother Moon believes that mothers and daughters can seize the small time and communicate at any time.

  The "parent-child time" between her and her daughter is often on the way to the training class and at the dinner table.

They will talk about the latest news and what happened in school, and Mother Moon will consciously instill some views that are conducive to broadening their horizons.

  Mother Moon will educate her daughter not to stick to the few exams in front of her, and to take a long-term view, do what she likes, and achieve self-achievement.

  Father Moon will act as a buffer between mother and daughter.

He is a university teacher who tends to give his children a heuristic and guiding education, and occasionally tutors his children with their homework.

Mother Moon believes that children who grow up in a happy family environment often do not have much psychological problems.

  Mother Moon recalled the happiest time of the family of three, no more than running down the road.

The moon ran ahead, and my mother was sitting in the back seat of father's battery car, hugging father's waist, and pinched the fat on his waist.

The three people ran a kilometer while maintaining a tacit understanding of the distance.