In the natural form of the student's habitat, the so-called "shared apartment", the kitchen forms the heart.
Here you can sit around the fire in more or less voluntary company and pay homage to the learning of your roommates.
Sometimes, however, even the most learned among them just talk rubbish, and that's when it’s the most fun to hang around.
Here are some of the weirdest things to talk about.
"I don't care when the fruit pieces actually turn the jam into jam ontologically, I just want to have my toast in peace!" Bursts out my roommate angrily and hits the kitchen table with her clenched fist. Admittedly, this is not the first metaphysical consideration I use to cover up my food envy. Especially in the evening, when all the roommates meet to cook in the kitchen, as is the case now, you can't avoid such original questions any more than you can avoid the fellow cooks. In the dance around the stove due to the lack of space, you walk on each other's feet and discuss the everyday benefits of stationary floating. Just a few centimeters were enough, my roommate recently affirmed,while she balanced on a free tread in the middle of a sea of returnable bottles to smear another bread and jam.
“Float motionless in a single place.
And that too, without moving forwards or backwards.
That's the most boring superpower of all time! ", It gushes out of my other roommate, who is sitting on my shoulders stirring his cheese sauce on the stove.
In a kitchen so narrow that even the small dreams seem like quantum leaps, the generosity of this superlative takes on the aftertaste of a challenge.
Stationary hovering is supposed to be the most boring superpower of all time?
We can't leave it like that, it wants to be outbid!
"Why actually toast?"
For a blissful moment only heavy bubbling fills the small kitchen, then my roommate ambitiously says: "Whenever you sneeze, you start to blink in a different color." That is pretty useless, we both nod, impressed. "You are the strongest person in the world, but only when you sleep." I add, unimpressed. Both roommates let my suggestion, judging by their expressions, melt on their tongues like a fine glass of dead wine. “You have the ability to make yourself invisible, but only as long as you play fanfare. And everyone can see you when you breathe. ”The degree of stupidity of this superpower is relatively difficult to surpass spontaneously, so we decide appreciatively - and take a seat to eat.
Two of us are sitting at the crowded table, while the third roommate, not unlike a gargoyle, crouches on the refrigerator. "Do you think a five-legged horse would be faster or slower than a four-legged one?" He yells, while we all ignore the clink of the accumulated returnable bottles, which have decided out of sheer contentiousness to disturb our quiet harmony. My roommate and I chew reverently. “It depends on where the leg is attached,” my roommate thinks about. "Does the leg protrude from the animal's forehead or from its back, where a sail could potentially be attached?" I nod, impressed by the sharpness of my roommate's mind. “Or maybe down on the stomach. This way, the time in the air can be increased, for example when galloping, ”I reply.
We are all silent for a moment in the sudden silence of the returnable bottles.
“We haven't talked about naked mole rats in a long time. Or about words that are so ugly that you don't like the things they title or about different ways to disguise yourself when you're really a robot and don't want people to find out, "I reflect after one While loud. But my roommate explains angrily: “I just want to eat my toast in peace.” “Why toast?” I ask callously and finally let my curiosity run free, “You haven't toasted this piece of white bread.” Stunned by my brazen Continuing the unloved round of questions, my roommate drops her jam sandwich. It ends up on the jam page. Whoever wants to practice metaphysics has to make sacrifices.
Evenings like this are probably known to everyone, but which pointless topics have you drilled through to the point of exhaustion?
And besides, if you met yourself exactly as you are now, do you think you could become friends?
Maike Weisenburger (27 years old) is currently writing her master's thesis in medieval studies and was appalled that the course would be over afterwards. Invites all the ignorant to join in if they don't understand their enthusiasm for medieval literature.