Monday, in "Sans Rendez-vous", the health program of Europe 1, the sex therapist Catherine Blanc looks at adultery.
She reacts to questions from a listener, unable to explain to his wife why he needed to cheat on her with a co-worker.
Can we deceive the woman we love on a whim, for no particular reason, only on the injunction of his desires?
Or is this gap the symptom of an uneasiness, of a poorly formulated anguish that casts a shadow over the idyllic picture of the loving little family?
Monday, in
Sans Rendez-vous
, the health program of Europe 1, the sex therapist Catherine Blanc responds to a listener who cheated on his wife;
when this adulterous relationship is discovered, he realizes that he is unable to provide an explanation to his wife.
The question of Mathieu, 39 years old:
"I have been married for 12 years and have two children. I cheated on my wife with a colleague who is ten years younger than me for a few months, when I was not in love with this woman and everything is fine. well with my wife. My wife learned that. We want to continue together, but she wants to know why I cheated on her. The problem is that I can't find an explanation. Can you cheat on your partner without right? "
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Catherine Blanc's response:
"It is common to act instinctively, without really knowing why and without really weighing the consequences. This is why, often, we get our feet in the carpet. It is always the drive of desire that is seated. 'expresses: the discovery, the fact of perhaps wanting to regret a little of his youth since he is 39 years old and will reach his 40 years, the need to regain momentum, although he is comfortably installed in his relationship with a family.
This being the case, sexuality is something that we have to appropriate.
We can have sexual urges, but we are not wild animals.
We must arbitrate what we do, faced with the consequences that this brings for ourselves and for others.
We understand that his wife needs to know, otherwise she does not know what she is getting into with him.
By specifying the age difference between him and his mistress, isn't Mathieu implicitly seeking to excuse his gesture by invoking the need to always feel young?
The question of the emotional is one that cannot be denied. And the emotionality of oneself in relation to oneself, that is to say of one's own fears of aging, of one's self-doubts, can feed adultery. This is also what makes him able to go to a very special woman. We must try to understand why.
The fear of aging can lead to cheating on a spouse.
We need to see that we are still active, that we are not embarked on something that will, in fact, die out, die.
We need to recreate something new without giving it emotional value.
And that's why Mathieu is lost because he sees clearly that there is no emotional value in this prank.
He is not in love with this woman.
But there is something that, despite everything, he not only passed the course, but also reoffended.
His wife seems to have forgiven him already. Perhaps this is also the reason why Mathieu no longer feels the need to justify his gesture. He already has the impression of having been absolved.
It is not cowardice to forgive, nor greatness of soul. This is because there are values that sometimes deserve serious consideration. You don't swing your whole family life just because you're hurt. We can look at what there is to rebuild. His wife seems to need it, but she also needs to know what she's getting into by staying with him, and Mathieu needs to think about it. "