Which is better, dad or mom?

June 9, 17:01

208,496 pairs ... Number of divorced couples (2019)

205,972 ... Number of minor children who have experienced parental divorce (2019)

An era in which one out of every three couples divorces.

Nowadays, there are an increasing number of cases where couples fight over their children when divorcing.

It is said that there is a change in the social situation in the background, and discussions on "custody" have begun at the national legal council.

What's happening between divorced couples?

We listened to the voices of the parties and covered the actual situation.

(Social Affairs Department reporters Kota Nagai, Hiroshige Yamada)

A couple's case

The home of an office worker in his 40s who lives in Tokyo.

The living room of the house I bought with a loan saying, "Living comfortably with my family, and eventually the couple's home," is quiet, and children's toys are lined up in the corner.

While working with his wife to support his household budget, he was given the eldest son three years after his marriage.

A man who was delighted to share childcare and housework between two people.

Parents living nearby also cooperated in childcare, and he sometimes left his eldest son and went out with his wife.

"I never imagined this would

happen,

" said the

man.

Opinions differed on child-rearing and household finances.

"I'll be back soon," the

wife and youngest son left home, convinced by the man.

However, the message was lost.

"A month later, my wife's mother told me that my daughter wanted a divorce," he said.

The reunion with my eldest son is about three months after my separation.

We went to see the train that my eldest son liked.

"I want to bring my eldest son home as it is."

Such an idea came to me, but I stopped.

After that, mediation was established with visits twice a month, but last summer, trouble occurred when the eldest son was handed over to his wife after the visit.

According to the man, the wife filed a referee for violating the mediation arrangement, and the wife was allowed to raise her eldest son.

The man is now in court again dissatisfied with this.

"The best environment for raising children is to live with me. I want to take custody," he said.

Conflict over an increasing number of children

In recent years, there have been an increasing number of cases in which couples fight over their children when divorcing.

According to judicial statistics, the number of cases in which a petition is filed with the family court for "delivery of a child" is increasing year by year.

Last year, the number was 4000, which is about three times that of 15 years ago.

Last year, there were 5,000 allegations demanding that they become "guardians" who live with their children and take care of and educate them while they are separated.

This is 3.3 times that of 15 years ago, and there are also increasing conflicts over child support and visits with children.

Why is the number of allegations increasing while the number of children is decreasing?

Experts analyze that it is closely related to changes in social conditions.

"With the generalization of double-income work, the increase in male participation in childcare and the increase in women who are financially independent, many people want to raise children even after divorce. Is in the background of becoming fierce. "

Professor Masayuki Tanamura of Waseda University School of Law, who specializes in family law, points out this.

In addition, Professor Noriko Odagiri of Tokyo International University, who specializes in family psychology, said, "As the population ages, there are cases where grandparents themselves participate in discussions on divorce. With the declining birthrate, grandparents become more attached to their grandchildren. It's getting stronger, and it's developing into a battle involving three generations. "

What is "custody"?

"Custody" is a general term for obligations and rights granted to parents for the care, education, and property management of minor children.

In Japan, both husband and wife have custody, but after divorce, one of them becomes the custody of one of them, which is a "single custody" system.

Determining the parental authority is a substantive requirement for divorce, and if the discussions do not come together, it will be decided through mediation or refereeing.

Japan, where the legal system of civil law was established in the Meiji era.

Due to the patriarchal system, only the father had custody before the war, but after the war, it was also recognized by the mother.

According to Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare statistics, the percentage of mothers who became custody was 40% in 1950, shortly after the war.

However, parents reversed in the mid-1960s.

The percentage of mothers who have parental authority has reached 84% (as of 2019).

The country also begins to discuss

How is it overseas?

In a survey released by the Ministry of Justice last year, 22 out of 24 countries, including the 20 major countries (G20) other than Japan, adopted a "joint custody" system in which both parents have custody even after divorce.

Only two countries, India and Turkey, have adopted the "single custody" system.

In February, the Tokyo District Court said, "Single custody is after separation," in a trial in which a father who lost custody sued the country, saying, "The provision of sole custody violates the constitution that stipulates equality before the law." It is rational to prevent fathers and mothers from disagreeing properly about child-rearing and damaging the interests of their children. It is at the discretion of the Diet whether to allow divorced fathers and mothers to jointly have custody. It should be entrusted. "

It shows the judgment that it is "constitutional."

On the other hand, in response to changes in social conditions, in March, the National Legislative Council began discussions aimed at resolving issues related to child rearing, such as the state of custody after divorce.

The Family Legislation Subcommittee of the council elected more than 20 members, including judges and psychology experts.

At the second meeting held in April, we interviewed people who had divorced.

In the future, a wide range of discussions will be held, including the pros and cons of introducing joint custody.

Those who insist on the introduction of "joint custody"

Norihisa Takeda, the representative of the "National Network for Realizing Parent-Child Visiting Exchanges", an organization formed by parents who live separately from their children, is appealing for the introduction of joint custody.

Representative Takeda

"Parents who have lost custody will follow what the custody says and visits with their children will be restricted. We are a relative's uncle who only plays in the nearby park once a month for 2 hours. I don't want to be like that. I want to be involved in growing up, both happy and sad. That's the role of my parents. "

"Under the single custody system, the conflict over custody has intensified, and as a result, one parent has frequently taken away children," said Takeda.

Recently, the number of consultations not only from fathers but also from mothers has increased rapidly, and the number of mothers' membership has tripled from three years ago.

"Since parents who are actually with their children tend to take custody, it is also widely disseminated online that" if you take your child away, even your father can take custody. "

Takeda analyzes this.

Takeda also places an order on how to determine the custody of the court.

Representative Takeda

"It does not take into account who was mainly responsible for raising children until then, and judgments such as confirmation of" removal "are made mechanically. Japan's" divorce is the separation of parents and children "created by joint custody. We need joint custody to change culture. "

Those who insist on maintaining "single custody"

On the other hand, there are also strong calls for maintaining a single custody system.

The position is that if the conflict continues under joint custody, the child will be in an unstable situation and there will be a conflict with each important decision regarding the child such as going on to school or medical care.

Not only that.

Chieko Akaishi, the chairman of Shingurumaza Azu Forum, an NPO that supports single-mother families, strongly opposes the introduction of joint custody because of concerns about domestic violence and abuse.

According to the group, some single mothers who were consulted said, "I left the house with my child without telling my husband." Of these, "If you tell your husband, you will be violent or mentally violent." I thought, "he said.

President Akaishi

"If the child wants to meet both parents in a safe environment after divorce, that's fine. However, if joint custody is granted, even if the other party is the perpetrator of domestic violence, the damage will continue. There is a risk that the damage will intensify as the conflict continues. "

He also insists that the mother leaves the house with her child without the consent of her father.

President Akaishi:

"It's not a" removal ", but an evacuation of separation with children. A wife who has been violent or harassed by her husband urgently hid to protect her child and her own life, and as a result, about joint custody. Proceeding with the discussion looks like a big swing back. "

“Single or joint” experts also disagree

How do experts see it?

Professor Shuhei Ninomiya of Ritsumeikan University, who is familiar with family law, noted that the "Convention on the Rights of the Child" adopted by the United Nations in 1989 clearly states that "children are entitled to the care of both parents as much as possible." To do.

Professor Ninomiya

"The Convention on the Rights of the Child was ratified by Japan in 1994, and if the guarantee of children's rights is given top priority, joint custody is desirable in principle. If joint custody can be selected, parents will have custody as it is now. There is no place to compete fiercely to decide whether to win or lose, and the idea can be changed to a place to discuss how to support the lives of children after divorce. Legislation should be created with respect for international standards. "

Regarding voices concerned about the continued DV damage caused by the introduction of joint custody, he said:

Professor Ninomiya

"DV should be dealt with as a domestic violence issue, and the issue of custody should be considered from the perspective of" what is the interests of the child. "Even in countries that have adopted joint custody, if there is DV or abuse, it will be the only exception. Most of the systems have custody. In Japan, the protection of domestic violence victims and the correction and treatment programs for perpetrators are inadequate, and it is necessary to design the system separately from the issue of custody. "

On the other hand, Professor Tomiyuki Ogawa of Osaka University of Economics and Law, who is familiar with Western family legislation, said, "Japan is trying to tackle the fact that Europe and the United States have made a big mistake and are reviewing it a quarter of a century ago," based on the lessons learned from overseas. Sounds a warning and insists that "current sole custody is sufficient."

For example, in the wake of the 2006 law amendment, Australia clearly stated that parents have equal rights to child-rearing even after divorce, and during that time, parents' conflicts over the division of child-rearing intensified, leading to the loss of children's lives. ..

Then, in 2011, an amendment was made to specify that child safety should be prioritized over "joint custody (nursing)".

Professor Ogawa

"In Japan today, consultation divorce accounts for 88%, and divorce has been established without conflict. Instead of discussing custody, children who fit the family situation in Japan based on the precedents of other countries. Priority should be given to the improvement of the child-rearing environment and the enhancement of the national support system in the event of continued conflict between parents. "

The true intentions of the children

Where is the true intention of the children involved in the divorce of their parents?

In March, the Ministry of Justice released the results of a survey of 1,000 men and women in their 20s and 30s who experienced separation or divorce of their parents when they were minors.

According to the report, 80.8% of the respondents answered that they "knew" or "felt lightly" about their parents' disagreement before separation.

When asked about their feelings when their parents separated,

37.4% said they were sad

and

29.9% said they were shocked, but they were

relieved (14.3%) and

were happy that the situation changed. Some children felt that (11%), and

the perception of children is not simple.

So, could the children be able to convey their thoughts and intentions when they were separated?

According to a Ministry of Justice survey, 21.5% answered, "I had something I wanted to tell, but I couldn't."

Ayumu Mitsumoto, president of the NPO Weeds, which has experienced the divorce of his parents and continues to support children in similar circumstances, points out that "the voice of the child has been left behind."

Mr. Mitsumoto,

"When I looked at the content of the consultation we received, I was divorced when I thought I was moving," and "I said I didn't want to change my surname, but I couldn't hear it." It can be seen that the feelings of children are not always respected. Children may lose their opinions or understand their feelings when they experience these things. "

The Ministry of Justice also asked in the survey, "What kind of support do you want for children who will be divorced or separated in the future?"

44.3% answered "a system for checking mental and health aspects", 42.9% answered "establishing a familiar consultation desk", and 37.4% answered "establishing a law that respects children's rights".

It shows that these supports are currently inadequate.

Mr. Mitsumoto points out to the Legislative Council of the country where the debate began.

Chairman Mitsumoto

"We should consider direct support for children at the same time, such as providing information on consultation locations and financial support. Since each child's form of support is different, each child's thoughts should be considered from various perspectives. It is important to know. Unless the consciousness of adults changes, the parent-child shape that children really want will not be realized. "

Discussion from a child's perspective

As the times change, there is a growing voice that "the human rights of children should be valued."

Through this interview, I heard many voices that the issue of "custody" should be considered from a "child's perspective".

In February, a study group of experts who were discussing a review of the family legislation of the Civil Code proposed to replace "custody" with another term, and proposed "(parent's) responsibility" and "responsibility" as candidates. I mentioned it.

The aim is to emphasize the nature of custody as "what parents owe their children" rather than unilateral rights.

The conclusion is left to the national legal system, but the day may come when the term "custody" in civil law disappears.

The issue of "custody" is a matter of great disagreement over how it should be.

What kind of position will it be, including the name?

What should a child look like?

It is the "obligation" of the parent generation that derives the answer suitable for the transformation of society.

I hope that discussions will be held with the existence of children in the center, including the enhancement of support, in future legal system trials.

Reporter of the Social Affairs Department

Kota Nagai

Joined the

station in

2005.

After working at the

Mito Broadcasting Station and the

Yokohama Broadcasting Station, he is now the Social Affairs Department.

Hiroshige Yamada,

Reporter of the Social Affairs Department

Joined the

newspaper in

2014.

After working at the Yokohama Broadcasting Station, he is now the Social Affairs Department.