Congratulations to Beyoncé this week.

"According to the standards of cosmetic

surgery

,"

Bunte

informs us

, "the singer, 39, has the perfect mouth-nose-distance." So if you were previously into Beyoncé but weren't quite sure why, you will get a scientific explanation.

We only fear that the good news for Beyoncé will lead to new, worrying OP trends: More and more people will now have their mouth moved two centimeters by the surgeon.

Jörg Thomann

Editor in the "Life" section of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung.

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    Caroline Goddet also used the time after the extremely public separation from her husband, the actor Erol Sander, for physical interventions: she was so “angry and disappointed”, she told

    Bunte

    , “that I did everything that Erol couldn't stand : I signed up on Facebook and got a tattoo. ”Now that the couple is celebrating their new get-together very publicly, they have hopefully signed off on Facebook.

    Hahaha, very funny

    It would be more difficult to say goodbye to the tattoos, which Sander still doesn't like: "I will never understand how you can voluntarily have something written on your bottom," he says in

    Bunte

    . That could have been a great reason to immediately split up again in public, but Goddet merely replies: "Hahaha, very funny."

    The two are probably fed up with separation talks for now.

    "In the meantime, almost two handful of lawyers have dealt with the divorce," said

    Bunte

    .

    Two handfuls is a somewhat confusing figure, not even a small law student would fit into our hands, but Sander explains.

    “It was like an arms race: when my wife hired another lawyer, I did that too.

    At one point I had a divorce attorney, a tax attorney, a criminal defense attorney and a family attorney, ”he says.

    When a little later a traffic lawyer, a court draftswoman, several constitutional judges and the Federal Minister of Justice jostled each other in his apartment, the couple decided to stay together better.

    We ask for your pardon

    “It was also the case that we talked about each other all the time during the separation,” says Goddet. "That is also a sign that something is still there: our love was never gone." We would not confirm that in general. The

    Bild

    newspaper, for example, writes permanently about the Merkel government, but there was never love.

    Image

    boss Julian Reichelt

    has just come up with

    something new: "Because the federal government doesn't do it -

    Bild

    asks all children to forgive!" He writes and apologizes for all government errors that

    Bild

    has always criticized.

    A delightful idea that we hereby adopt: Because

    picture

    doesn't do it - we ask the children for their forgiveness.

    For the hypothetical empathy of the

    Bild

    newspaper, for the terrible stories of sex and violence that can scare young people, for the shameless exploitation of the tragedy of a five-year-old who was orphaned in the cable car accident in Italy with new headlines every day (“.. Has eyes” opened - he does not yet know that his family is dead ”).

    Who Owns Mouse Cat?

    It is also not at all nice that Heidi Klum is now apparently fighting with her father Günther about the trademark rights to her daughter Leni; Grandpa is said to have already secured the latter, as well as the rights to "mouse cat", which, according to the

    picture, is

    Leni's nickname. Perhaps in return, mother and daughter could quickly secure the rights to the name "Günther Klum" and, for example, bring out a beautiful collection of tinted men's glasses - and Leni get another nickname.

    As for the nicknames of his companions, the entrepreneur Richard Lugner seems to have fallen into a certain lovelessness over the years. Compared to the

    previous names listed meticulously

    by

    In

    such as Hasi, Spatzi and Katzi, the younger ones such as Goldfisch or, allegedly chosen for a new flame, Wildsau clearly fall away. By the way, if, as

    In

    claims, Lugner's goldfish owes its nickname to its “silent nature”, then we'd better not think about how Lugner might have come across Wildsau.

    Things are much nicer with Andy Borg, who doesn't have a nickname for his wife, but has nice words: "Birgit grounds me - every day, over and over again," he says in

    New World

    .

    But does that mean that Borg himself threatens to take off again and again every day?

    Lilly Becker, on the other hand,

    stated

    according to

    In

    : “I know what I don't want.

    I don't want a man who plays tennis. ”As soon as“ a potential partner even mentions the sport ”, we read,“ he gets a basket ”.

    Then we wish Boris Becker's former partner a happy new relationship in which she will hopefully not make a nasty discovery in the closet or under the bed one day when she comes home surprisingly earlier.

    Another woman?

    No, much worse: a couple of tennis rackets.