In the show "Sans rendez-vous" Thursday on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc responds to Aurélien, a listener who says he wants to have a threesome with his wife because he finds that their sexuality "goes a little in circles".

For the sex therapist, this possibility must emerge from a discussion between him and his partner.

Addressing the issue of fantasies is not always easy in a couple.

In the program 

Sans rendez-vous

 Thursday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers the question of a listener, Aurélien, who wonders how to approach his wish to have a threesome with his wife.

For the specialist, Aurélien must ensure that this proposal remains rewarding for his wife, that she has the feeling of remaining an actor of the situation and not of being subjected to it.

Aurélien's question

"I really want to try a threesome with my wife but I'm afraid she will get upset. It has always been a real fantasy for me. Now that our sex life is turning a bit in circles, I say to myself that is the time. What do you think? "

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Catherine Blanc's response

"We are always tempted to talk about our fantasies and it's always a little 'touchy' because we are afraid of hurting the other, of rushing him or of upsetting him. in circles we're going to talk about it, I'm not sure that's a good method, maybe she's also expecting some naughty proposals!

To say that the threesome is the solution to this kind of situation is quite classic, almost redundant, even boring.

Especially since again, the threesome is rarely offered by men to be done with two men and a woman.

It is therefore inevitably more annoying for the woman who has the feeling that she cannot be enough.

We have the impression that this fantasy exists for the wrong reasons ...

Yes because he says it goes a little in circles.

This means that he is a bit bored with her ... And all of a sudden, it would take a fireworks display!

He also says he doesn't want to screw it all up.

So you have to be careful because for his proposal to be received pleasantly, he must obviously value the other.

This is the condition for them to be able to share this fantasy, if it is ever shareable.

His wife must have the feeling of being the actor of the situation and not of suffering in order to save what remains to be saved from their relationship.

In this case, he did not say that their sexuality was dramatic.

It just went around in circles, but it is the case for all couples.

>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous every day from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

In this kind of situation, where the couple runs out of steam a little, the threesome is never a solution?

In any case, that should not be the solution to which we are going directly.

We must first admit that things are going around in circles, which is already a good basis for discussion.

To do this, you have to ask these types of questions: Don't you think we're purring?

Do you still like it so much?

Do you find it very exciting?

Didn't we put ourselves in our slippers a bit?

We must therefore open the field of possibilities without imposing the threesome because otherwise it is quite abrupt because it corresponds to bringing in a third party as if there was no material between two people to create something.

Is threesome more a fantasy of men than women?

Being in a threesome is a non-gendered fantasy since it means being the source of interest of two people.

Except that it is often something that is offered by men, often with the intervention of two women.

And unless the official woman wants to test something of the order of homosexuality, then everything is done for the man.

It is also often offered like this because men express their fantasies more easily than women.

And when you come up with a fantasy, it's always a bit in its direction, which is quite logical.

And anyway, even if Aurélien offers to do this threesome with two men and a woman, it can also worry his partner about her intentions.

Should he talk to her about it then?

We can talk about it.

The thing is, you have to talk about it together.

So it has to emerge from a conversation and not be some kind of obligation or stigma.

It would make their situation worse.

We first talk about the fact that we are going around in circles and then we are looking for solutions.

And if so, the threesome can be one. "