In the show "Sans rendez-vous" on Friday on Europe 1, the psychoanalyst and sex therapist Catherine Blanc answers a 24-year-old listener, Clara, who has been in a relationship for a year but does not dare to talk about what she likes sexually with his mate.

It is not necessarily always easy to talk about your fantasies to your partner, or to guide him or her in bed.

In the program Sans rendez-vous Friday on Europe 1, the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc advises a 24-year-old listener, who does not dare to talk about it with her companion whom she has known for a year, whereas before she did not had no problem with his one-night stand ...

24-year-old Clara's question

"I've been with someone for about a year, everything is going very well, but I find it hard to talk to them about my fantasies and what would make me happy in bed. I didn't have that problem at all, I didn't have really serious relationships, I used to do one-night stands and was much more free to talk about what I liked and didn't like - but it made me feel better. is a bit disturbing in my current relationship. Do you have any advice on how to talk about it more freely with my partner? "

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Catherine Blanc's response

"With a one-night stand, because there is not so much at stake, the risks are minimized. If you have exposed yourself in an erotic expression of yourself by daring incredible things, in the as the other disappears, he leaves with the memory and we can always say that we have not seen him.It is more complicated when we wake up with the one we love and with whom we are going to make fries the next day or with whom we will bring the children to school, etc.

Because precisely, with a one-night stand, we don't have to watch over the image we send of ourselves.

And this is especially true for women on this point.

You would think that, to the extent that he loves us, anything that is going to be said, done, tested might appeal to the partner.

But the reality is that in our life, on a daily basis, we are guided by a moral and intellectual reading of ourselves, of the situations that we will deem suitable or not suitable.

But a year is a young relationship.

Does it take time to break free and talk?

What I observe is that when you establish a type of relationship, it is difficult to move it afterwards. Once again, be careful not to mean that we want to do anything and everything because it is fashionable to want to do everything. Fantasies that are true one night are not always true: we may want to live it to test it, but once we have tested it we no longer want to relive it at all. So, we don't want to lock up a relationship that will be long-term on the basis of a single curiosity. Problem: as soon as you start to close things, you have a hard time saying what, all of a sudden, I would like to do or do it again. Which doesn't improve the story!

It can be difficult to talk about her fantasies, but she also doesn't dare tell him what would make him happy in bed ... why?

It's problematic because if he's off the mark, even without any malice, just because he thought it could work, that with his ex, it worked like that or because it's an idea whether it is with the body or the sex of a woman, showing it the way, without being of an extreme authority, can still be the best way for both of them to be there. you.

>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous every day from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Simply, it is often difficult to say to oneself that I must show the other the way. And there is a sort of partner testing to measure 'how much he loves me' by the measure of his competence to do me good. This is where this poses a problem, because it is not supposed to know naturally. So giving a little guidance would be great for the couple. "