In the show "Sans Rendez-vous", Catherine Blanc responds to a listener, Martine, in a couple over 24, who wonders how to relaunch her sex life in the face of her partner's inaction.

For the sex therapist, it is important to communicate his desire by word to find the beginning of married life. 

How to relaunch your sex life after 25 years together?

In the program "Sans Rendez-vous", Catherine Blanc answers a question from a listener.

This Monday, Martine wonders how to relaunch her sex life with her companion, who no longer takes the lead in bed.

Despite her desire, she is afraid to take the first step to revive her relationship. 

Martine's question: 

"I am 50 years old, I have been in a relationship for over 24 years and today it is complicated under the covers. I have never started sex with my partner because I am always afraid of passing for a provocateur and at the same time if I do nothing, for his part he also does nothing. He falls asleep and it is very annoying for me. Should I take the lead? " 

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Catherine Blanc's response: 

"The issue is not just a lack of communication. It is also a problem of expressing her desire, without fear and without judgment. However, she already has an idea beforehand that a woman who is in desire is a provocateur. She prevents herself from expressing her desire, hoping that her friend guesses the desire that could be hers and that he comes to meet her. Except that she has someone in front of her who remains inactive One can wonder if it is someone without desire, or simply someone who respects the limits of the other and who waits for the meeting. But if everyone waits for the meeting of the other , not much is happening. 

After 25 years together, things have perhaps changed a bit over time? 

It is possible that things will die out a little after 25 years together. But after so much time spent together, one could imagine that there is freedom of speech. In reality, we find it difficult to change our positions over time because changing our positions suggests that we have looked elsewhere, that we are wondering. Couples often lock themselves in their initial modesty. And if for some reason she has the idea that a woman in her sexual expression is not a woman worthy of the name, she is not going to be able to express her desire. She will therefore be waiting to be joined by someone who is used to working like this.

There may also be the fact that sexuality has always been a pretext to please oneself, for example, or to have babies.

And today, there are no longer all these good reasons to go towards sex.

As a result, couples are very afraid of changing their relationship and changing their exchanges.

We can feel attacked and therefore, we dare not broach the basic subjects.

We therefore prefer to talk about shopping, the upcoming meal rather than talking about the essentials. 

>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous every day from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

How to break the ice? 

To get there, she must express herself to her companion. She has to tell him that it's happened a thousand times that she wanted him. It will be very flattering for him because she loves him, because he pleases her and because he is the one with whom her erotic sensitivity can be expressed even if she does not dare to say it for fear of provocation. Maybe that will allow them to have a conversation and that her partner can reassure her by telling her that it is normal that she also wants to take the lead from time to time. "

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