This matter|Which one should be more important to look value or ability?

Tsinghua men's marriage with a monthly salary of 50,000 cites crowds

　　On holidays, topics such as "urging marriage" and "marriage" can always arouse social attention.

The Paper reporter noticed that this year's Tomb-sweeping Day holiday, a news about a Tsinghua man's marriage proposal sparked heated discussion and ranked first on the hot search list.

　　It turned out that the cause of the matter was a marriage proposal posted on the Internet by a man named Zhang Kunwei.

Marriage information shows that he graduated from Tsinghua University with a bachelor’s degree or a computer science experimental class. He has worked at JPMorgan Chase and Google. Now he returns to his hometown of Shanxi as a second teacher + slash youth. From the beginning, his monthly salary is 3000 to 1 Years later, monthly income is 50,000.

　　In fact, this is not the first time that Zhang Kunwei has been on the hot search.

The first time was in 2019. He resigned from a Google executive and returned to his hometown, Xiaocheng, where he worked as a teacher in Jinzhong College of Erben College, with a monthly salary of less than 3,000 yuan.

For the second time, Zhang Kunwei, who has a monthly salary of 50,000 yuan, clearly stated his requirements for girls in his marriage proposal: "Willing to develop in Taiyuan, Shanxi and Jinzhong."

　　However, as soon as the post was posted, Zhang Kunwei was abused by the comments.

This post was included by netizens in a sequence with insulting keywords such as "silly", "fear of men and marriage", "short and ugly".

Some netizens even criticized him for "not even Pu Xinnan, mentally impoverished".

　　In this controversy, the key word that has been pushed to the forefront is the "criteria for mate selection."

　　In this regard, the Henan media is looking at news commentary articles that: People attack Zhang Kunwei most because of his appearance and "image management."

Indeed, Zhang Kunwei looks flat and fat, and does not touch the character "handsome".

But we can’t attack a person with looks, which is the truth we have been told since we were young.

Good looks can be an advantage, and people also have the right to pursue good looks.

　　But because of his appearance to deny and criticize a person, he even maliciously speculated on Zhang Kunwei’s spiritual life based on a photo, and concluded that he was "mentally impoverished" and "badly managed", and even cited the controversial "ordinary and confident" of recent times. "The argument, ridicule it.

This is extremely absurd.

　　Let me ask, if people like Zhang Kunwei are regarded as "ordinary and confident" samples, how can they be counted as "unusual"?

Not to mention that in this post for friends, Zhang Kunwei did not describe too much proudly about his resume, nor did he understate in Versailles style, but pointed out his "monthly income of 50,000" and the hard work behind it.

There is only one requirement for his "friend seeking": willingness to develop where he is.

This is an extremely reasonable request. I don't know why it has become the "original sin" in the eyes of some people?

　　After being ridiculed by the crowd, Zhang Kunwei also wrote an article in response, stating that “in the current gender society, men face unprecedented selection pressure” and “victims of gender issues also include the silent majority of boys. Their existence is caused by Ignored, their demands are suppressed."

Sincerely pointed out some problems that exist in the relationship between men and women in the current society, but this has also been accused by some people as "fighting the love card."

If you blindly look at people with these prejudiced colored glasses, you will only magnify certain extreme emotions and exacerbate certain gender antagonisms.

　　On April 4, "Nanfengchuang" WeChat public account published an article "A Tsinghua man with a monthly salary of 50,000, still being scolded for marriage", that Zhang Kunwei's ideas represent many men.

　　The article believes that stereotypes and appearance humiliation in marriage relationships are not uncommon. For example, using height as a metaphor for men’s “disability” and plaid shirts as “boring and boring programmers” are just like being picky about women’s figure and age. .

The two exist at the same time. To a certain extent, it is of no real significance to argue about more familiarity.

It's just that men's picky towards women has now been found a new word to describe-"Puqixin".

　　The article also believes that gender issues are now the entry point for discussing many issues, and it has opened up some long-shielded horizons. From this point of view, it is worthy of being faced squarely.

But at the same time we must also admit that some voices and phenomena are obscured by positions.

Gender issues are sometimes intertwined with class issues. If they are not distinguished, they will only increase their verbal battles and make it more and more difficult to understand each other.

　　The Red Star News review article discusses the issues of "look" and "ability" in marriage and relationships caused by the above topics.

　　The commentary argued that women have long been "gazing" objects in their appearance, not to mention active marriage, even becoming "victims", they can't escape the scrutiny of appearance, figure, dress and behavior.

However, now some women are gradually rising from aesthetic objects to subjects. They can pursue amateur Ding Zhen just because of the "sweet smile", and they have the confidence to reject male contenders who earn 50,000 yuan a month but who do not look right.

　　This comment reminds: If a girl really decides whether to apply for the application because of a monthly income of 3,000 or 50,000, would such a girl be his favorite girl?

On the other hand, if he refuses to emigrate for the sake of a girl, he must go to Shanxi for development. Is this premise also likely to lead to false love?

　　Of course, in this discussion, we cannot ignore the emotions and tendencies of some speeches that deliberately provoke gender antagonism and constantly raise the criteria for judging mate selection.

　　A media commentary published by The Beijing News commented: Since the talk show artist Yang Li became famous with the phrase "Some men are so ordinary but so confident", the popularity of gender topics in the public opinion field has always been high. .

It is difficult to say that some people did not subside prejudice against "Pu Xinnan" in the public opinion storm caused by this marriage marriage incident.

　　But in fact, the gender topics in the marriage and love market are inherently highly subjective. Some people, because of their own experiences, raise their individual feelings to criticize women or men groups, raise the standards of mate selection, and even Inciting emotions and inciting gender opposition is inherently irrational.

And it is not ruled out that some people use this to gain attention and attract traffic.

Therefore, we should also be vigilant about this kind of remarks, keep the bottom line in public discussions, and be careful not to be easily biased.

　　The Paper Journalist Yue Huairang