Experts suggest that parental education should be included in judicial and social services
Recently, a piece of news has attracted attention: A parent in Shenzhen was so angry that he slapped his child when he was tutoring his child to do homework, causing a perforation of the tympanic membrane of one ear.
The doctor said that every year, there are several cases of small patients who are injured by their parents' ears and perforated tympanic membrane. The fuse is all counseling work.
"Battering and scolding" parenting is a common problem in family education, ranging from yelling and ranting to hands-on and physical punishment.
During the National Congress and the People's Congress this year, the topic of "screaming" parenting appeared on Weibo hot searches, sparking discussions about whether "screaming" parenting is illegal or not, how to legislate for family education, and whether parents should hold a certificate to work.
From the family, social and legal aspects, how to solve the "beating and scolding" and "snarling" parenting problems?
A few days ago, the reporter interviewed psychologists and judicial staff about this.
Experts suggest that parental education for parents should be included in judicial social services, while at the same time the procuratorate's legal supervision role should be brought into play, family inspections should be initiated for excessive "beating and scolding" education, and parents should be compulsory education and training.
Some psychological trauma caused by beating and scolding takes a lifetime to heal
Lou Zhuangli is the prosecutor of the Eighth Procuratorate Department of the People's Procuratorate of Yiwu City, Zhejiang Province. He has been engaged in the procuratorial work of minors since 2013.
In an interview with a reporter from China Youth Daily and China Youth Daily, she said that cases of beating and scolding a child causing him disability are not uncommon.
She came into contact with such a case when she was the deputy principal of the rule of law of a primary school in Yiwu City.
Xiaowen (pseudonym), a second-grade boy, grew up in the "beating and scolding" education of his parents, and later developed into attacking classmates and disrupting classroom discipline at school.
Xiaowen's mother was very worried, saying that Xiaowen had attacked her classmates in kindergarten, because she didn't know how to reason with Xiaowen. Every time Xiaowen hit other children, the couple would beat and scold Xiaowen when they returned home. .
After diagnosis, Xiaowen suffers from ADHD and needs intervention.
Xiaowen's father suspended work and read with him all day.
Xiaowen's parents stopped beating and scolding Xiaowen, followed the doctor's advice, and tried their best to create a harmonious family environment for Xiaowen.
Xiaowen's mother said frankly that in the past she always thought that beating and scolding was for the good of her children, but now she regrets and blames herself, and should be more patient and understanding with her children.
Lou Zhuangli believes that parents have high hopes for their children and think that beating and scolding children is for educational purposes, which is why parents beating and scolding children often occur during homework.
With the changes of the times, the relationship between parents and children is becoming more and more equal. Today's parents generally agree that it is wrong to beat and scold their children.
However, as a mother said: "The fire is coming up, I can't help but yell."
Li Baiying, a marriage and family psychological counselor at the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and a national second-level psychological counselor, believes that parents need to understand the dangers of beating and scolding their children from a deep level.
Beating and scolding damages children's healthy personality and good interpersonal relationships are easily overlooked, and some of the psychological trauma caused to children can even take a lifetime to heal.
Li Boying said that if parents abuse their children too much, they will continue to internalize their children's self-evaluation, making them less confident and intimidating in interpersonal communication, as well as causing them to be sensitive and precocious.
Under the "beating and scolding" education, in order to avoid being beaten and scolded by their parents, one type of children learns to observe their words and colors, wrong themselves, and meet the standards of being human; the other type of children resists and is irritable, and transfers their parents' attacks on him outside to attack and bully People who are weaker than him.
"Whether it is depression or attack, hurting oneself or hurting others, a child's emotions will be unstable and impulsive, which not only affects his interpersonal relationship, but also distracts him and affects the efficiency of learning." Li Baiying said.
It is the responsibility of the whole society to work together to protect children
How to avoid the psychological harm caused by "beating and scolding" and "roaring" parenting to children?
Li Baiying believes that, from the social level, one is to "talk about the land" and provide a social welfare hotline so that children can have a place to relieve their emotions after being beaten and scolded; the other is to "go with land", and if the child leaves home in anger , There should be a safe place as a "buffer zone", which can be the home of friends or relatives, or a safe social public place.
Li Baiying provides parents with "three-step" psychological control advice: first step, feel the impulse coming up, take a deep breath to soothe your mind; second step, ask if there is any way to solve the problem; third step, if there is no good way for the time being , Leave the scene first.
Ren Wenqi, deputy dean of the School of Public Administration of Gansu University of Political Science and Law and secretary-general of the Judicial and Social Work Professional Committee of the Chinese Society of Social Work, believes that parents have the right to educate their children, but all rights have boundaries.
Nowadays, many old traditional educational concepts are outdated, and new parenting habits have not been established; the concept of legal power has been established, but the norms of the rule of law have not been consciously formed.
He believes that it is necessary to incorporate parental education for parents into judicial social services, how to raise children, how to properly exercise guardianship, and not to step on the legal red line.
At the same time, the procuratorate's legal supervision role must be brought into play in a timely manner, and family inspections can be initiated for excessive "beating and scolding" education, and parents should be given compulsory education and training.
With regard to family trials and family mediation, the court must "make the case settled and reconciled."
At the same time, the role of communities, schools, women’s federations, and the Communist Youth League in resolving domestic violence should be brought into play, and professional family services and judicial social work services should be provided.
Lou Zhuangli said that the newly revised Law on the Protection of Minors clearly stipulates that parents or other guardians must not commit domestic violence to their children and respect their children's personal dignity.
Parents must have a sense of law-abiding in the process of educating their children. Parents must perform guardianship illegally and improperly, and the law must intervene.
The Law on the Protection of Minors clearly stipulates that village and neighborhood committees should advise and stop minors’ parents or guardians who infringe on the lawful rights and interests of minors. In serious cases, they should promptly report to the public security organ. The public security organ receives a report, or the public security organ or the procuratorate. , The court may order parents to accept family education and guidance if such situations are discovered during the handling of the case.
"If the circumstances of parents beating and scolding their children are serious, they may also face the serious consequences of revoking their guardianship and even being held accountable for legal responsibility."
"It is the responsibility of the whole society to protect children." Lou Zhuangli said that if members of society find domestic violence around them, they must report to the police in time if necessary.
China Youth Daily·China Youth Daily reporter Li Huaxi