THE SEX QUESTION - Are those who talk the most about sex the least?

In the show "Sans rendez-vous" on Wednesday on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc answers a listener, Vanessa, who wonders if the saying "it is those who talk about it the most who do the least" is valid concerning the sexuality.

For the sex therapist, this can indeed be the case for some people.

Does talking a lot about sexuality reveal a great deal of experience in this area?

In the program 

Sans rendez-vous

 Wednesday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers the question of a listener who wonders if the saying "it is those who talk about it the most who do the least" is checks in matters of sexual experiences.

According to her, "this is often true". 

Vanessa's question

"We often hear the saying 'it's those who talk about it the most who do the least'. Do you think that's true about sexuality?"

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Catherine Blanc's response

"This is often true. We understand very well that from the moment we make love, we are in the process of making love. So when we have made love and we are satisfied, we Moving on. From the moment we are still on the subject of sexuality, that raises questions. Why does she need the verbal vector to express herself?

It's interesting because we are also full of slips on the subject of sexuality.

It is a bit what escapes us, what we do not control, the prohibitions linked to our unconscious.

Often, the verb is there to experience or define itself in the eyes of others, more than to testify to the tranquility of living intimately one's sexuality. 

Is it more of a male reflex?

This is also true for girls.

There is always the fear of not being well integrated into our society.

If our society is supposed to be powerful, and in particular powerful by the experience of its sexuality, that we evaluate our power compared to our competence to make love, obviously we need to say that we do it.

We need to say that we do it in so many ways, that we have a CV that is as long as an arm ... In fact, it is often a distortion of our reality.

So there is often a margin because we are afraid of not participating in a society that is doing well.

It seems necessary to us to show ourselves beautiful and energetic. 

>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous every day from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

I think it has been rather masculine in the past.

But that is changing with the younger generations.

But indeed, it could have been a demonstration of virility.

It was also intended to increase the interest of women in men.

That is to say that a man who says he is doing a lot about it seems to be at peace on the matter.

It would therefore be more reassuring for a woman than a man who does not talk about it, who seems a little worried or shy, and who suddenly leaves her in a kind of vagueness.

This is silly: a man does not have to bear the responsibility for the tranquility and the woman be a white goose who needs to be awakened in her sexuality by a confident man.

However, there is a tendency to go more towards confident people.

But sometimes we make a mistake.

Because there are those who say and those who do.

Moreover, it is not necessarily the quantity that makes the quality ...

It's quite fair.

It is not the multiplication that makes the competence.

Skill can also be learned throughout a relationship.

However, you may also have had a long-standing relationship where you went around in circles and lacked creativity.

Or to have been in a relationship for safety because precisely one doubts his competence in matters of sexuality.

There is therefore no category in which we could say that we are more likely to come across someone more seasoned.

Especially since tranquility in the field of sexuality is initiated before sexuality.

That is to say that tranquility in matters of sexuality comes first of all from a human's confidence in himself.

You must first feel legitimate in your position as a man or a woman.

It will transfer quite naturally and quietly to sexuality.

I have rarely seen very sexually worried people who were otherwise very confident. "