Known for his Russophobic views and statements, Secretary of the National Security and Defense Council of Ukraine Oleksiy Danilov called for the restoration of bilingualism in the country.

Does this news sound like a fake?

You are thinking in the right direction.

But one extremely important clarification needs to be made.

Fake is not news about Danilov's initiative, but the initiative itself.

After all, the head of the Kiev Security Council understands bilingualism in an extremely peculiar way.

According to Aleksey Danilov, English should become the second main language in Ukraine.

Here is how the head of the NSDC motivated his strange idea: “To our deep regret, for 30 years we have not defined the Ukrainian language as the primary and fundamental language of our independence.

And for 30 years we have not paid attention to English, which should be a compulsory second language in the country.

In order for you and me to be protected from the attacks from which we are suffering today, from the Russian Federation. "

Having reached this place of Alexey Danilov's speech, I fell into a deep mental hole.

The fact that the secretary of the National Defense and Security Council of Ukraine believes that he is "suffering from attacks by the Russian Federation" is by no means news.

But what kind of "attacks" are these that you can easily defend against with the help of knowledge of the English language?

I thought, I thought - and that's what I came up with.

Could it be that Alexey Danilov got hung up on the Harry Potter books, which, as you know, were written in English?

Yes, yes, this is probably the answer to the mystery.

Ukraine's chief specialist for national defense and security intends to fight the "attacks" that he imagines with the help of magic spells.

And if you translate these spells into Russian or even Ukrainian, then they lose their mystical power! 

That is why Aleksey Danilov urgently needed to teach all "Ukrainian patriots" English.

Imagine this picture: the Secretary of the National Security and Defense Council of Ukraine is standing and waves his magic wand with all his might!

What a talented politician Danilov is!

Anyone else in his place would never have thought of something like this!

And he immediately realized what was what!

But perhaps it seems to you that I am slandering Alexei Danilov and magic has nothing to do with his idea?

Your lie, gentlemen!

I have proof.

“Once again, I draw your attention to the fact that knowledge of the English language is a guarantee of the independence of our country.

English should be used from kindergarten and school ... You don't need to learn it, you need to know it! "

Danilov continued his fiery appeal.

Do you understand where the secretary of the National Security and Defense Council of Ukraine pierced and made it clear that we are talking about magic?

If not, then I would like to draw your attention: according to Danilov, it is by no means necessary to learn English.

But knowing him at the same time is absolutely essential.

How is this possible?

In a world without wizards and sorcerers - nothing.

But in the world in which Harry Potter lives, it's easy.

But it's enough to laugh, even if it is a laugh through tears.

Like Alexey Danilov, I also love English very much.

I'm even ready to sing an ode to him.

First, the English language, from my point of view, is very beautiful and elegant.

Secondly, there are tons of insanely interesting books that can only be read in English.

I remember, for example, how I caught the same books about Harry Potter.

As soon as a new volume came out, I immediately ordered it by courier mail and swallowed a thick book in two or three days.

How those fans of books about a young wizard envied me, who had to wait for a Russian translation for some time!

Thirdly, in the modern world, English serves as the language of interstate communication.

But all this does not make the idea of ​​Aleksey Danilov reasonable and adequate.

The Secretary of the National Security and Defense Council of Ukraine in the most shameless way is engaged in the substitution of concepts.

It is uncomfortable for me to engage in repetition of elementary truths.

But when you are dealing with such figures as Danilov, unfortunately, you cannot do without it.

For many Ukrainian citizens, Russian is their native language.

This was and still is the essence of the real Ukrainian bilingualism, which in the official Kiev they want to destroy in the bud.

I am very interested if Danilov himself understands the essence of what he is proposing?

Most likely, he doesn't understand.

After all, there is no such absurdity even in the books about Harry Potter!

The mother tongue is the mother tongue.

Under no circumstances can he become foreign.

Likewise, a foreign language cannot become a mother tongue.

Or, rather, if you really try really hard, then maybe.

But then the inhabitants of the country in which Aleksey Danilov serves as a big boss should turn half into Ukrainians, and the other half into English.

Wow, the "guarantee of independence" is obtained!

Nicely thought up by the head of the NSDC!

I just want to tell him (in English, of course): “High-five, bro!

The deflection is counted! "

The point of view of the author may not coincide with the position of the editorial board.