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Diane von Furstenberg loves to give advice.
“I'm 74 years old, that's allowed,” says the fashion designer when she introduces her new book during a zoom call.
At the same time, she immediately admits that she has been through a lot of things wrongly and above all in her life.
This is what qualifies you to be a sensitive coach in times when many people long for an encouraging voice.
“Own it”, which appears on International Women's Day, breaks this voice down into an alphabet of many small aphorisms, into which Diane von Furstenberg has packed her personal wisdom.
The guideline that connects them all is in the title: “Own it” means something like “Stand by” and describes von Furstenberg's motto, according to which many things in life can be mastered better if you accept it, stand by it and then tackles.
Whining and complaining are a waste of time - a lesson Diane von Furstenberg learned from her mother Lily, a Holocaust survivor.
18 months after she was liberated in Auschwitz, her daughter was born.
"Just my birth was a victory."
Diane von Furstenberg in 1973 in New York City
Source: Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images
She used it for a career in fashion: in 1974 she invented the “wrap dress”, a wrap dress made of jersey in which the modern working woman could move effortlessly and achieve her goals.
Her commercial success and Furstenberg's image as a glamorous, self-determined entrepreneur have earned her great reputation in the fashion industry to this day.
However, your DvF label is suffering a lot from the consequences of the pandemic and is in a phase of restructuring after several business closings and terminations.
Diane von Furstenberg follows her own advice - and stands by it.
Which principles she also lives by is summarized in these 14 points.
adventure
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“My adult life started off with a bang.
When I was 22 I got pregnant, got married, moved to America and started my business.
The best way to learn is when you discover something new, when you dare to go beyond what you already know. "
To be alone
“Being alone has nothing to do with loneliness.
He who is alone is complete, because the most important relationship in our life is that with ourselves. Even when I am with a group, I look for moments when I can be alone.
I need that to gain strength. "
bed
“Every evening before going to sleep, my mother blessed her bed.
She expressed gratitude for the sheets, blanket, pillow, and warmth - things she'd had to go without in the 13 months of her imprisonment while sleeping on a wooden board she shared with rats.
From her I learned to respect the bed.
To sleep in bed and to rest is one of the most important rituals of our life. "
character
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“You can lose everything in life, but character is the only thing we have complete control over.
It's like an inner house that holds us up.
Character also arises from discipline: the mental and physical exercise of always doing the things we have to do - even when we don't want to. "
She always wanted to be a woman who is “in charge”, who takes things in hand: Diane von Furstenberg
Source: Jesse Frohman
Darkness
“As a little girl, I was afraid of the dark, and to get rid of that fear, my mother locked me in a closet.
It sounds gruesome, but it worked.
After a few minutes, I realized that the darkness would not stay so gloomy for long.
It taught me to scare away my fear and always look for the light. "
Ex partner
"While I was working on this book, I gave the manuscript to my granddaughter to read and she said to me, 'You should make a point about your exes, you always talk about them so much.'
So, this is about the ex. I think you should have a positive relationship with your exes.
The intimacy, the memories that you share with each other give me a feeling of security. "
Women
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“We have all met her: the woman at the other end of the room, who we meet at work, at a party or in a public place.
We look over at her and admire her because she looks so confident, proud and relaxed.
But we should always remember: In their eyes we are the woman at the other end of the room. "
Von Furstenberg at a presentation of her fashion label in 2016
Source: WireImage
Glamor
“I've wanted to be glamorous all my life.
For me, glamor means glamor, sophistication, mystery.
As a thirteen-year-old I only went out with sunglasses, later on at the airport I wore high heels with fishnet tights and the lightest silk jersey dresses that fall silently to the floor when you take off your clothes (the bracelets make all the noise)
It can't be a coincidence that the word
amour
is found
in 'glamor'
? "
hair
“As a young girl, I hated my curly hair and spent a lot of time straightening it.
When, at the age of 28, at the height of my success, I was supposed to be photographed for the cover of 'Interview' magazine, the photographer Ara Gallant tricked me: He first took a photo of me with straight hair and then sprayed it with water, whereupon they curled up.
He just wanted to try something, he said.
He later offered the editorial team two cover options and the picture of my wild, wet locks was received with enthusiasm.
Since then, I've been wearing my hair curly.
That's how I learned to stand by who I am. "
In charge
“I didn't always know what job I was going to take, but I knew what kind of woman I wanted to be: One who is 'in charge', who is responsible for herself and who takes control.
In this way you acknowledge yourself and accept yourself.
Then a blemish becomes an advantage and vulnerability becomes strength. "
Rituals
“I have a lot of rituals, I write a diary, work at a large table with all my pens, books and papers and immediately remember to feel gratitude after getting up.
I find it important to consciously approach even the most mundane activities and to fill them with meaning.
We all eat, work, love, sleep.
What sets us apart is how we do these things. "
Fame
“On this point I have a story that I experienced in Kathmandu, Nepal.
My friend, the Nepalese designer Prabal Gurung, invited me and we attended a ceremony at the Seto Gumba, also known as the White Monastery.
We had the great privilege of being able to sit right next to the lama.
I was so excited to be so close to this spiritual leader.
Shortly after we were introduced to each other, he asked me, 'Do you know Cher?'
I was totally surprised, but also proud, when I was able to answer: 'Yes, I know Cher.'
For me it's an unforgettable story about the power and silliness of fame. "
Stand by it
“Whatever happens in life, we ultimately have no choice but to stand by it and deal with it.
It doesn't make problems or tragedies go away, but it makes them easier to deal with.
What helps me is when I think of my life as a documentary film.
I imagine that I take a step back and look at the whole thing with a little more distance.
When I got cancer, a nurse once told me that I was a 'good patient' because I didn't say, 'Why me?'
gave up my fate, but accepted it and tried everything to recover. "
Designer Diane von Furstenberg with her second husband Barry Diller in Studio 54 in New York City in 1977
Source: Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images
connection
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“Every day I take the time to write at least two emails that are not beneficial to me, but that bring me closer to someone else.
I also hate small talk and am much more in favor of intimacy, which you can have with someone you don't know well. "
Words
“My mother always admonished me not to be careless with words.
She knew the power behind it, and words are still important to me to this day.
Whatever you give of yourself, it can have a huge impact on your life.
Just think of Amanda Gorman, the poet who spoke at Joe Biden's inauguration: she had a speech impediment, but working with words helped her overcome it.
Today she is a superstar. "
Source: Phaedo
“Own it: The Secret to Life” by Diane von Furstenberg is published by Phaidon-Verlag.
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