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Welcome to the official Let's Dirty Dance debriefing.
As the official WELT representative for dance television analyzes, I can say: Nobody puts babies in a corner, except of course Joachim Llambi.
In other words: It's going to be hot in the first real “Let's Dance” edition of the Schwof year of 2021.
After soccer World Cup participant Rúrik Gíslason in the introductory show within just three hours on the German TV audience from “Who is the guy who looks like David Garret without a violin?” To “Age I want children with this hot Icelandic Tanzvulkan ”rose, the audience voting immediately rewarded him with the golden direct ticket.
So Rùrik cannot be eliminated this week.
As a reward, RTL only sends him to the dance floor shortly before midnight in the first real episode, so that the drooling members of the Rùrik fan clubs stay obediently in front of the television.
But okay, this leaves time to deal with the standard categories of the format first.
The best known is always: What is Jorge González wearing?
Let me put it this way: the last time a comet crashed onto the earth, the stylist of banana lover Jorge looked very carefully.
The approximately 3-meter-high art installation on Jorge's head suggests that it would simulate the Big Bang.
Or the jury bird of paradise, who once became known as a catwalk trainer at Germany's Next Top Model, has gone under the real estate sharks.
As is well known, living space has become expensive and scarce, especially in metropolitan areas.
Innovative living concepts are required.
And three to four students could easily move into the cavity between Jorge's skull and the end of his hairstyle.
Without violating hygiene regulations.
And what else was going on?
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Of course, co-presenter Victoria Swarovski doesn't want the show to be stolen from her.
She counters with the reincarnation of one of the most famous advertising slogans of the 90s, but as a dress.
In a robe that sits lower in the cleavage than Donald Trump's ties, she shows: You don't have to be a cow to take the most beautiful breaks in Lila.
Keyword pause: The first commercial break comes after 16 minutes this time - a new record on RTL.
But at least it is not as long as usual.
I notice because this time I can't manage all seven "Harry Potter" volumes in one commercial break.
Meanwhile, my insider tip Lola Weippert and Christian Polanc start the race for the dancing star on the dance floor.
And that with a decent result.
Anatomy expert Joachim Llambi diagnosed: “Sometimes you stand between your feet”, but this does not detract from an evaluation with a solid 19 points.
The amazement at Llambi's second technical advice is bigger: "You should rather invest some time in the gym".
Zack, there is an outcry on the second screen.
Gasping under the hashtag #LetsDance.
Did Llambi just mention Lola Weippert as bold?
He can't mean her posture and her mobility.
Because anyone who follows Lola's Insta stories as intensely as I do knows: Lola has been using a leg spreader for training purposes for weeks.
Yes, with this information and your dirty thoughts, I'll leave you alone for a moment.
So while you are still mentally bringing Lola together with leg spreader, Ballermann master hairdresser Mickie Krause is already convincing with brutal honesty regarding his dance talents: "The deficits are bigger than I had thought".
Sounds like a documentary about the detailed knowledge of DIE LINKE boss Susanne Hennig-Wellsow about foreign deployments of the Bundeswehr, but has about as much to do with politics as Foxtrot does with American news channels.
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According to these skills, Krause then first destroys his glasses on the dance floor and then his rating.
Seven points - not even a “dance school” task force composed of Andi Scheuer and Jens Spahn could have done it worse.
One almost fears that Mallorca bard Krause could spontaneously play back with the song "Schatzi, schenk mir ein Pünktchen" in the jury for mercy.
Fortunately, he refuses to do that. Good for him, because Joachim Llambi's facial expression clearly says: "Go get some beer, you're dancing shit again".
In the course of the 14 dance performances we learn that Holland-Export Ilse deLange suffers from open body parts.
In any case, juror Motsi Mabuse recommends: “Close your feet more”.
And also chief physician Dr.
Llambi has finished his patient report: "You stood nicely in your arms".
Which is even better than lying on your feet.
Once on the move, Zotenschreck quotes Llambi directly from his erotic film guide: “Below is the basis, if it's right there, it'll be good”.
Incidentally, everything is fine again with Llambi and candidate Senna Gammour.
Last week she reacted pissed off to Llambi's admission that he would not have been so incredibly euphoric to find her name on the list of candidates.
Today people are forgiving and only exchange respectful sentences.
Overall, the broadcaster seems to be hoping for a lot from Gammour's participation.
After all, they have been doing everything for months to cover up any traces that RTL has ever associated with Michael Wendler.
At the same time, the ex-Monrose singer is offering prime time appearances to a woman of all people, who likes to share videos by Ken Jebsen and who cannot be taught better even after harsh criticism (new German: Shitstorm).
The "D" in RTL apparently stands for double standards, at least when it comes to political incorrectness.
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Keyword Shitstorm: After the opening show last Friday, a lot of people actually got upset because two men were dancing together at prime time.
Obviously, parts of the RTL audience have outgrown the advertising-relevant target group up to 49 years and come from the 1930s.
In order to finally bring the homophobic comment column hate speech to white heat, RTL sends Nicolas Puschmann and professional dancer Vadim Garbuzov this week to “It's Raining Men” on the floor.
A successful diss on backward-looking, inhumane thinking potential.
When the anonymous full failure of the “Why are gays allowed to dance there?” Movement now realizes that Borussia Dortmund is wearing rainbow jerseys in the German classic at Bayern Munich this weekend, outraged letters of complaint are likely to be sent to the broadcasting council.
Now the gays are already taking our dance and football away from us!
Thank you Merkel!
Undeterred, the Nicolas / Vadim team shows something within their dance performance that would also be good for the SPD: change in leadership.
Not a very easy undertaking in dance, if I understood the jury correctly.
Jan Hofer then admits: “I haven't been sexy for the last 50 years,” but tries to correct that today with his show outfit.
It only works so well, because as he prances on stage with the baseball cap on his head, Christina Luft probably feels like me when my father sends me pictures of funny sayings decorated with 400 smiling smileys via WhatsApp, which I have been doing since eight Months from Twitter.
Hofer looks a bit like the lovable mascot of the season, which nobody allows to leave.
With the filigree movement dynamics of an oil tanker, its half-life will nevertheless quickly expire.
When you see the sympathetic Tagesschau Monchichi on the screen, you always end up wondering: Is Jan Hofer dancing in slow motion?
Even Llambi's facial expression sometimes seems as if he wanted to say: Hofer and Malz are lost.
Well, Christina Luft would have thought it possible to wish for a candidate back with the dance talent of Oliver Pochers.
In contrast, Llambi sees great talent in model Kim Riekenberg, not just in terms of looks.
He recommends: “Don't just step with the ball of the foot, more with your heels”.
Easy.
That is implemented quickly.
A training camp with Johann-Wolfgang von Goethe is enough, because he knows his way around verse.
The 26-year-old, lovingly known as “Kinn Riekenberg” because of the lower part of her face, is one of my favorites alongside Lola.
Kim brings a talent for movement and a sense of rhythm.
At the same time, she seems concentrated, eager to learn and ambitious, without slipping into grim.
In addition, she seems pleasantly reserved in moments when less talented candidates try with pithy sayings to fool around inadequacies.
As a model, she knows body control anyway, everything else she can learn.
Although Kim probably doesn't have as big a fan base as other candidates, I believe that she will win the hearts of the viewers with her Zephyrian manner and thus does not need to fear audience votes in the future.
Not in front of the jury anyway.
Team Kim, count me in!
Model Kim Riekenberg floats into the studio for her dance performance
Source: dpa / Andreas Rentz
Joachim Llambi then has "something to complain about, but not much" about the third young blonde candidate in the race, Valentina Pahde.
In Hamburg this is no longer considered praise, but already euphoric hero worship.
Llambi was born in Duisburg, however, and that only applies to Upper Bavaria as northern Germany.
Pahde actually dances at a very high level, but has to be careful not to share the fate with other favorites of former seasons.
Like Ella Endlich.
She was undoubtedly the best dancer of her season, but couldn't always pick up the audience with her often very cool and calculated manner and therefore failed shortly before the victory.
And nobody wants to fail, not even Hawaiian shirt model Kai Ebel.
But for that, partner Kathrin Menzinger would finally have to kill the Ebel.
Pit lane quay is currently still dancing with a dynamic, against which Ulli Potofski's dance refusal program worked like the gazelle-like elegance of a Bolshoi ballerina.
The favorites: Valentina Pahde and Valentin Lusin
Source: dpa / Andreas Rentz
Otherwise not much happens.
The only question that arises is: Have Giovanni di Lorenzo and Erol Sander been seen in the same room at the same time?
And: is it really true that sex sells?
Probably already.
There is no other way of explaining why Rúrik Gíslason and Renata Lusin fully rely on the erotic factor.
Golden Ticket Boy Rúrik has been sitting in the hall almost topless for the entire evening, Renata wears a red dress for the appearance, with the proportion of fabric that could be used to make a sweatband on the free textile market.
For Playmobil males.
By then, at the latest, no one can stay Rúrik on the sofa at home.
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But they can still call, especially for Mickie Krause, the bottom of the jury.
The hit king, to whom we owe pearls of German poetry such as “Finger in Po, Mexico”, has the fewest points of the jury rating, but obviously significantly more fans than Vanessa Neigert.
Because after the offsetting with the viewer voting, the ban beam of the audience does not hit him, but the DSDS candidate from Italy.
She is the first to leave “Let's Dance” in 2021.
Another farewell will follow next week.
Which one, I'll tell you next Saturday!
Tanzmarie with jury member Motsi Mabuse
Source: Marie von den Benken
Marie von den Benken is on Twitter and Instagram as @Regendelfin, she is from Hamburg, model and author. She also writes every week on ICONIST about the big and small dramas on “Germany's Next Topmodel” and “Let's Dance” (to be seen every Friday on RTL and TVNow).
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