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What is love? And why does it sometimes happen to us under difficult circumstances? In war on different sides, separated from religion or radical regimes, foreign and personal reservations or fear: We tell of couples who got together against resistance - and stayed together. Our last love story is about Kai and Thomas
.
Both had turned their backs on love for a long time, then they got to know each other.
This is their story.
They met in 2012. A gay club in Berlin, basses throbbed, lights flickered, and in the middle of it all, on the dance floor, were Thomas and Kai, 43 and 38 years old.
Two strangers, still.
Thomas knew he was gay since he was 19.
All of a sudden the realization came, he says today, as if struck by lightning.
He began to study the subject, buying books on homosexuality.
When his mother found one of them in his room, she cried.
His father had a hard time too, he had prejudices, but Thomas didn't care.
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He met men, tried things out.
He had his first relationship in his mid-twenties.
His boyfriend at the time, he says, was one who fell in love quickly and whose feelings disappeared just as quickly.
After a few months it was over.
Thomas got older, got to know other men, but nothing solid developed.
At some point he finished with it.
He believed he would never have a relationship again.
He got used to the thought.
Until he met Kai.
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Kai had found out in his mid-twenties that he was gay, it was a gradual process.
At first he thought he was bi, then he realized: I like men.
He's been dating, he's had sex, and once, a long time ago, he even had a relationship, but he didn't really feel for his boyfriend.
No matter who he met, he never fell in love.
Of course he had an idea of how falling in love must feel, he knew it from books and films: the nervousness, the alleged butterflies in your stomach.
But he never felt it.
He wondered if something was wrong with him.
Until he met Thomas.
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When they met, at the party in June 2012, Thomas lived in Munich and Kai in Berlin, but they stayed in touch.
Sent each other emails.
Visited each other.
We went on vacation together, to the Alps, to Barcelona.
Kai liked that Thomas had a mohawk.
Thomas liked the way Kai laughed.
They got closer, only something solid didn't develop, it was more a friendship with sex.
They were two men who matched but didn't get together.
Neither of them really believed in a relationship anymore.
Until they flew to New York.
That was in December 2013, a vacation together.
They explored the city on foot and walked through Manhattan for days.
During this trip, Kai realized that he wanted more than friendship.
Suddenly he felt the nervousness that he had always missed.
He made hints, felt his possibilities.
Careful like a china dealer afraid of breaking something.
When he was back in Berlin, he sat down at the computer and wrote the first love letter of his life.
There were three pages, the most important sentence was a question: Can you imagine that we will become more?
Thomas could imagine it, for the first time in years.
On September 3, 2016, they registered a civil partnership, and exactly two years later, when that became possible, they married.
Thomas now has two apartments, one in Munich and the other in Berlin.
He commutes even more often than before.
But he thinks it's worth it.
Love stories:
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