What are the situations you want to avoid the most while in your company life?
It may be different depending on the position and circumstances, but I think this is a time when my wishes are frustrated or when I have to take responsibility unfairly.
As everyone suffers in their lives, most of them face such an upsetting situation during their corporate life.
Omission of promotion, disciplinary action, supervisor for ten thousand years, dismissal from job position, and censure (local) transfer are such things, but it is highly likely that any office worker who has lived in a company will experience one of them.
The feeling of being faced with this terrible thing, it really hurts to the point of heartbreaking.
Recently, one of my close motives was in this situation.
Last year, promotion was missed again, and it was unclear whether or not the job was preserved, and an unintended incident occurred.
I didn't feel good enough to lose the taste of the meal, as this news didn't seem like someone else's business.
He groaned, "Well..." while leaning completely against the back of the chair in a depressed heart.
At this time, a call came.
"I saw it. How do you do it? Have you tried the phone?"
"no."
"Come on. You are the best friend though. You have to comfort me."
I hung up, saying, "I should," but I had no intention of calling the friend right away.
I was upset, but I thought it was not time to call.
This is a lesson I learned from my past experiences when I was transferred to the censure province.
When he was a deputy general manager, he was released from the core department of the headquarters as a regular employee at a local branch due to a discord with the new team leader.
The following article describes the feelings after receiving calls from acquaintances at the time.
The phone rings at my place where I have nothing to do. I don't want to receive it. It is also because it seems that someone is a phone call to comfort me after knowing that I have been pushed down to a job. "Are you okay?", "Why did you do that with the team leader?", "Stay a little. It will work.", "No, why are you there?" Most of them say something similar to soothe the mind. But what's really weird is that from my point of view, I should feel very grateful to the people who called me, but in reality it is not. After receiving such a'consolation call', the heartache deepened by making myself more shabby, rather than calming my mind. (…) When the other person's wounds are deep, it's better to just pretend they don't know than to convey words of consolation.
Comfort is to relieve suffering or soothe sadness with warm words or actions.
However, in my experience, nothing can relieve or soothe the suffering or sadness I am just experiencing.
All you need is time.
This is a time when the other person can properly suffer and grieve.
Consolation words (even with good intentions) caught in a sense of duty to get rid of that pain and sorrow at least for a moment without the time will only hurt the other person.
The author of The Consolation of Sorrow, Megan Devine, also wrote a message that was consistent with my thoughts.
Consolation sentences like the one above give the message "So don't be so sad." This is just an attempt to erase and reduce the pain of others. Sadness is not a problem that needs to be solved and ended smoothly, but an experience that will last a lifetime. What you can do for the grieving one is to allow them to stay in the reality of grief.
With this belief, I suppressed the urge to do something for that friend right away, and waited a few days after the announcement.
Then, after a few more days, they contacted me and expressed consolation in a calm voice.
The reason I had such a time was that I had to wait until the friend had a hard time and had to chase herself down to the bottom and have the mind to accept it.
Anyone who suffers from grief, pain or pain should take time until they have the strength to overcome it.
If I take that time and go straight to the advice, the other person will get sick regardless of my good intentions.
In fact, may it not be possible to accept comfort or comfort when you have your own mind?
Comforting a person deeply in resentment and sadness is just a good word uncomfortable to hear.
The words of consolation are double-sided, so you can use them in any way, but they are only words.
In short, it is quite different from the reality that the bruised heart healed by listening to only comforting words.
It was the Lunar New Year holiday last week.
As before, the whole family couldn't gather and talk about things like that, but I know my situation and the situation of my relatives through cell phones and social media.
Sinabro office workers on long leave, self-employed people on the verge of bankruptcy, young people who couldn't get a job in the cold of employment, tenants who personally suffer from housing insecurity, and these sufferers have grown quite a bit. I did it.
There are so many people who need comfort.
Let's look back at me at this time when the pain bursts all over the place.
I wonder if I did not comfort someone during the holiday season.
And let's promise.
From next time, I will never give unripe comfort.
Just as the author of <Consolation of Sorrows> says, let's stay
silent and help with everyday tasks.
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