'World's Happiest Country','World Happiness Champion' Finland, which ranked first for 3 consecutive years.
How do people here raise children and pass on that happiness?
A book to answer these questions was recently published in Finland.
It is <The Secret of a Happy Child (onnellisten lasten salaisuudet)>.
Author Pirjo Suhonen is a mother with a 9-year-old daughter, a producer of cultural and educational content, and works as an'influencer' in Finland.
As the founder of the Finnish global fashion company'Ivana Helsinki', he has been the'big hand' of the Finnish fashion world for a long time, and is also the'Jihanpa' who has visited Korea several times for business.
It was also a Korean business partner who provided the opportunity to write this book.
One day, the partner pointed out to Mr. Suhonen, "The problem with Finns is that they only want happiness for their children, but not so much for success."
Suhonen couldn't answer properly at the time, but it is said that the words continued to linger in her ears.
To find the answer, Mr. Suhonen turned to 12 Finnish educational and psychological experts for help.
This book is the compilation of their answers.
Throughout reading the book, I was full of regret and regret, saying,'If I had known this content I see before.'
This is because my children are already well covered because of this good parenting method.
When children were young, they used to say that they were doing'raising' rather than'raising' like a joke, but through this book, I feel as if the joke was determined to be true.
In these days, I felt like'this life is ruined', but I came up with a plan to keep this book well and hand it over to the day my children become prospective parents.
I'm badam style, but my children are windy.
Still, one thing that comforted me at this moment is the message of this book: "Don't try to be the perfect parent, the best parent. Good enough parents are enough. Don't suffer from guilt compared to other parents."
If so, which parents are'good enough parents'?
The importance of routine and routine
all, the book tells us that parents who share their daily lives with their children
Usually, busy parents try to compensate for their daily lives through'special times' like traveling.
However, ordinary daily life, rather than special experiences, continues to give children happiness.
When special experiences are added to everyday life, they shine.
This is because if only specialness is repeated, that speciality will no longer be special.
The daily routines that were repeated in childhood are left to children as good memories.
Daily life shines even more when it is regular.
Routine, that is, regular daily life, is an important device that maintains homeostasis for a child who lives in a dynamically changing modern society.
Children are less flexible than adults, and when their daily life breaks, they consume excessive energy trying to adapt to the changes.
It is also easy to be stressed by the anxiety caused by change.
Parents also benefit from routine.
The use of time becomes easier and there is no need to waste unnecessary energy.
Well-designed routines provide a sense of security for everyone.
Tempo matters for the routine to exert its power.
You should never be driven by it.
A laid-back routine teaches children how to rest properly, which is the basis for creativity.
In the book, it is written that the roots of creativity are surprisingly'ordinary daily life' and'repeated routine', and even'doing nothing is the basic of creativity'.
Alpha waves that occur most during rest periods are alpha waves, because these alpha waves are directly connected to creative ideas.
In addition, considering that the neurotransmitters secreted when creativity is exercised and the neurotransmitters released when feeling happy are almost the same, it would be reasonable to argue that a creative child is a happy child after all.
If you give your child a relaxing, repetitive routine, magic will happen in the child's brain.
The best gift, praise
Another condition of'good enough parents' is'praise'.
Usually, when a child makes a mistake, they give more feedback, and positive behavior is often taken for granted.
However, strengthening your strengths is a more effective way of teaching than fixing your weaknesses.
This is where I really want to applaud Finnish education.
Praise is the lever of success.
Children who are usually praised and armed with self-confidence and self-esteem can successfully complete their work even if the world around them collapses.'Failure is the mother of success', rather than the adage'Failure is the mother of success','Success of a lot of success and success' is more in Finland. That's a worthy adage.
Praise is the best gift you can give your child.
Put the smartphone down and look in the eyes of the child.
"Children write Love as TIME."
A TED speaker said.
Children feel love as time.
However, just being in the same space doesn't mean spending time together.
When eye contact and expressing interest, children feel that they are spending time together.
Parents' addiction to smartphones produces'a lonely child even if they are together'.
It's sad that you spend more time looking at your smartphone than your child's eyes.
People exchange a tremendous amount of information at the moment when their eyes meet.
The gaze is'a mirror on both sides'.
The child looks at his parents and at the same time looks at himself through his gaze.
The parents' gaze that a child feels has a decisive influence on forming a positive and healthy self-image.
Moreover, the brain of a young child is not yet ready to accept indirect experiences, so'direct experiences' such as eye contact are absolutely important.
You may have seen young children who don't like talking over the phone very much.
There's nothing more dangerous than the parenting method of playing YouTube or videos all day for such children.
When a single
baby is 3 months old, he starts to remember the face of the one who helped and loved him.
And you learn to live by relying on that person.
One of the most important things in a child's life is an intimate relationship with only one person until the age of 12-18 months.
Developmental psychologists say that babies whose primary caregivers change frequently are more likely to have difficulty establishing intimate relationships later.
Finnish parents usually send their first child to pre-kindergarten at the age of 2 to 3 years old, perhaps for this reason.
The influence of'one person' is absolute beyond infancy.
As children grow up, they need an adult who will listen to their stories and give them a warm look.
The existence of a person who values his own existence is absolutely essential for child growth.
Without such a person, children are swept away by school violence such as'Iljin' in an attempt to gain attention and love in harsh places, and are sometimes subjected to bullying or abuse.
Kari Uusikylä, a professor emeritus of the Department of Education at the University of Helsinki, who is called the'big adult' of Finnish education, gave a lecture to the public.
The point was that even if only one proper adult was kept by the child, the child would never grow crooked, but after this lecture, a middle-aged woman approached the professor when everyone left.
"Do you remember me, teacher? I'm Maryo."
It turned out that Professor Usicula was a student who taught as an elementary school teacher.
"The teacher was the one to me."
Professor Usicula told me that that moment was the most rewarding moment as an educator.
His talking eyes were moist, and my eyes got wet with it.
A different look at happiness and success
All the principles taught in this book are less special than you might think.
You might think it's something anyone can think of after reading it all.
However, it may be that it proves that raising a happy child is easier than each.
As I covered the last chapter of the book, I recalled the words of my Korean partner who gave me the opportunity to write.
The'Finnish success' presented in this book is different from the success of the Asian Tiger Mom style.
Finnish success is not a'sky castle' that only a few can enter through competition, but a low-growing forest of deep-rooted trees that anyone can access.
Happiness and success often overlap each other.
If you are happy, you have already succeeded in more than half.
I also think that'a happy person succeeds' rather than'a successful person is happy'.
Looking at the latest PISA (International Academic Achievement Assessment) test results, contrary to the concerns of the Korean acquaintance, Finland achieved happiness and success for children together.
The life satisfaction of students from Asian countries, including Korea, which ranks the highest in terms of academic achievement, is at the bottom, while Finland is the only country that has both high student achievement and life satisfaction.
Now is the time to ask that Korean acquaintance.
"Why is Korea more obsessed with success than the happiness of children?"
#In-It #In-It # Meet'In
-It' to read along with this article.
[In-It] The child who died on Mother's Day, the Finnish version of Jeong In-i case