Half a month talking about reporters Ma Xiaoyuan and Sun Liangquan
Data from many places show that the post-90s generation is becoming the main force of divorce groups.
Thirty-year-old has become "Thirty-year-old and left", which makes people sigh.
The Civil Code, which was officially implemented on January 1, 2021, proposes the much-concerned "cooling-off period for divorce."
Will this be a good medicine to stop divorce?
10 times in 10 years, divorced people younger
Hongdong is the most populous county in Shanxi. The marriage registration office of Hongdong County Civil Affairs Bureau is located at a crossroads in the prosperous area of the county.
The head of the registry Jia Qiying said that the number of divorce proceedings in the county was more than 100 in 2010, and the number reached 1,300 in 2019, a 10-fold increase in 10 years. In recent years, the phenomenon of young people divorcing has been very prominent, and divorced groups have appeared. The characteristics of youthfulness.
"The first few years were born in the 80s. In the past few years, those born in the 90s have also joined. Divorce will be done one or two years after marriage, and some even divorce frequently." Jia Qiying said that the couple who impressed me most were about 27-8. Years old, there have been six or seven marriage registration records.
In fact, divorce after 90s is nothing new.
According to statistics from the Zhengzhou Civil Affairs Bureau of Henan Province, the number of divorces born in the 1990s has accounted for more than 20% of the total number of divorces in the city.
According to data from the Shiyan Civil Affairs Bureau of Hubei Province, among the divorced couples in 2019, 45% were under 35, and the minimum ages were 22 and 21 years old respectively.
There is no lack of "impulsive divorce" among the divorced people born in the 1990s.
A staff member of a marriage registry office in a city in central China told Banyuetan reporter: "Sometimes I see a young couple arguing all the way, we persuade a few words to go back, some of them come to divorce within a few days of marriage, we also Maybe they will make up a lie, such as getting off work, the system is broken, and let them go back to calm down."
Yuan Weihua, a special mediator invited by the People's Court of Kecheng District, Quzhou City, Zhejiang Province, believes that one of the reasons why the post-90s generation has become the main force in the divorce team in the past two years is that the post-90s advocate freedom and are more capricious and impulsive towards marriage.
"Actually I understand the so-called impulsive divorce." said Wang Lili, a married young woman born in the 90s. "Now young people are very open to marriage. They can get married impulsively, but why can't they get divorced? I'm not happy with you and not with you. Can't it be done after playing?"
"Mental and material minors" are important incentives
Why did the post-90s, who were supposed to stand in their 30s, step into the track of divorce after setting up a family? The reporter interviewed by Banyuetan learned that behind this phenomenon, the new generation of young families generally has "mentally and materially minors". The phenomenon.
The reporter of Banyue Tan saw in a popular online post on "100 Reasons for Divorce after the 90s" that netizens gave a wide range of reasons for divorce: married a mom Baonan, opened his mouth and kept "my mom said"; Fengzi got married, After marriage, I found out that I couldn’t get along with my mother-in-law, so I always chewed up the meal to feed my son. When we get married, we rely on the "six wallets" of the elders to buy a house.
A judge who has been involved in family trials for more than 30 years told Banyuetan reporters that most of the divorce cases born in the 1990s she has handled in recent years have parental factors.
"Although many young people have started a family, they still rely on their original family spiritually and materially, and are easily influenced by their parents' opinions. When a couple has conflicts, they are not trying to communicate with each other, but going home to find a mother. This often leads to conflicts. upgrade."
Accompanying dependence on the native family is a lack of responsibility.
Many couples still regard themselves as their parents’ darling sons and daughters after marriage, and do not have the sense of responsibility to be husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers.
Xiaofang (a pseudonym) born in the 90s said that she and her husband knew each other at a very young age and had a son after marriage, but her husband was addicted to playing games, spent money on top-ups to buy equipment, and often had dinner with his "comrades" in the game circle until late at night. The child lacks care and rarely undertakes housework, so she proposes to separate.
"Mentally minor" is also shown before marriage.
Many divorced post-90s interviewed said that they were urged by their parents to enter into marriage without a thorough understanding. There were various conflicts in their lives after marriage, and it was difficult to reconcile them.
The Huazhou court in Maoming, Guangdong recently tried a divorce case born in the 1990s. The young couple got divorced within half a year of their marriage. The man counted the woman’s “ten crimes” during the trial, and believed that the other party had soaked his feet in the room before going to bed and did not talk about personal matters. Behaviors such as hygiene and lack of basic cooking skills are unbearable.
It was understood that the couple met through introduction and met in online chat for one month. They received the certificate the next day after they met. Just because their parents believed that “when they are old, they must get married first,” they got married with the mentality of “marry first and fall in love” .
To avoid the "thirty-thirties" still need to work together
A number of interviewees pointed out that there is no need to be overly pessimistic or blindly negating the phenomenon of young people’s divorce, but divorce is not only a personal matter, but also related to the happiness of countless families, the effective protection of the legitimate rights and interests of relationship stakeholders, and social issues. Harmony and stability.
To this end, we need to work hard to avoid the continuous development of the phenomenon of "thirties leaving".
"The divorce cooling-off period stipulated in the Civil Code proposes a solution to the social phenomenon of frivolous divorce." Sun Xianzhong, a member of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said that this provision also reflects the moral and ethical basis behind the law-respect for marriage and respect Family, cherish feelings.
"But this rule is a bit similar to a sudden brake in marriage. It works after the fact." Folklore expert Chang Sixin said that for the post-90s generation to truly "stand up", parents need to have boundary awareness and adult children have a role. Change awareness and sense of responsibility, and truly take responsibility for your marriage and life.
After many articles on the divorce cooling-off period on the Internet, the first comment is often "Marriage requires a cooling-off period."
Experts pointed out that the prerequisite for reducing the divorce rate is to continuously strengthen marriage and family counseling and education and reduce impulsive marriage.
The Banyuetan reporter learned that 54.3% of marriage registration agencies at the county level and above have set up marriage and family counseling rooms to provide emotional counseling, psychological counseling, crisis management and other services to the parties. However, there are still many areas that have not set up specialized agencies. .
Some people in the civil affairs system suggested that social forces can be widely mobilized through policy support, financial subsidies, and government purchases of services to jointly participate in marriage and family counseling and education.
(Published in "Ban Yue Tan" Issue 2 of 2021)