Text/Yu Lisheng
"Misty mountains, see the evening flowers in dreams", "Raindrops fall, frequent ripples" "Tread all over Wuyue Mountain, footprints left on the horizon"... At 10:30 in the evening, it was Han Shimei, a 49-year-old farmer woman in Xichuan County, Henan, who began to write a poem time.
On the double bed, she lay on her side and wrote until one or two in the morning.
The phone screen glowed faintly in the darkness-this was her own place.
In the past year, writing poems has become almost everything Han Shimei has done except for housework and work.
Her Kuaishou account has 1,430 fans and 1,547 followers, most of which are her poetry friends.
Reading the story of Han Shimei is like reading a book of destiny.
She is like the female college student who was abducted and sold into a poor ravine in "Blind Mountain" directed by Li Yang, because she gave birth to a child, and because of the bondage of the parent-child bond, when she was rescued by the police, she turned around and decided to stay in the ravine.
The slight difference is that it was not someone else who pushed her into the fire pit, but her biological mother, which was even more heartbreaking.
It is also a piece of meat falling out of the belly, and the daughter should not become an item that can be disposed of or even traded at will.
That year (1992), her mother took away 3,000 yuan in gift money, leaving her only 4 new clothes.
The husband is mentally retarded, and the father-in-law is no different. The mother-in-law has small feet and cannot work.
The man's 4,800 yuan for marrying her was borrowed from the rural credit cooperatives and relatives.
From the very beginning, the burden of life has been on her shoulders, and the debts have been repaid, repaid, repaid, and repaid over the years.
Fortunately, although the husband can never say a complete sentence, he can still perform simple and hard work by command.
The only belief that supports her to maintain this family is to raise a pair of children.
Her son was trained to become a college student, but because he was born with pneumonia at an early age, he left a shadow on his lungs and was repeatedly refused job hunting. In the end, she helped find the job.
She finished her son’s wedding in November last year. “A flower of gold branch and jade leaf fell into the royal family's hair. The husband and wife will pass the day, and the baby will be born next year to the dragon and phoenix baby.” This is the only poem she released that seemed festive.
Now her wish is that her daughter will also finish her studies and be able to earn money and be self-reliant, then she will shed the burden of life.
In this way, she became the capable daughter-in-law bought for three thousand yuan among the village population.
Different from the "blue sky with clouds like yarn, the jungle reflects the colorful clouds" and so on, the five-and-seven-character poems that show off their literary brilliance, and at the same time appear to be gentle, there are two poems that are the true portrayal of Han Shimei.
One is: "Who is empty in heart, who is so miserable in heart. Who is the one who has two lines of tears on the cheek, who is always carrying things, who has broken your heart." Straightforwardly expresses the experience of being arranged by the mother. Enmity of ups and downs.
One is: "I don't know how hard it is to live with a tree, or how painful it is to live with a wall. No one can understand the mood of my life. I want to cry without tears. I want to say nothing." The poem puts the mentally retarded husband It is likened to a tree and a wall-never being able to speak a complete sentence, unable to communicate with people normally, and writing about the bitterness of married life.
Literature is higher than life, and it is derived from life; like wine brewed from rice and grain, such luminous poems are extracted from the suffering of life she has endured.
But people need emotional communication.
Fortunately, with the progress of the times, the popularization of smart phones, and the evolution of mobile Internet technology, she used the short video platform to write poetry as her interest, "really, ask for her friend's voice", and interact with poets to sing harmony. , Communicate with each other, the spirit can be sued, the emotion can be expressed, and the soul can be comforted.
It's like: a tree cut a hole for talking; a wall opened a window, and a beam of light came in.
She seemed to be healing and healing slowly.
Of course, she is also soberly aware that time will not go back, "No matter how many poems she writes, she will not be able to solve the fundamental problems in life unless she is reborn."
As the saying goes: "Sorrow and anger come out of poets", but it is better for no one to be grief and anger; Han Yu said: "The words of joy are difficult to work, and the words of sorrow are easy to be clever."
Fortunately, with the development of the social economy and the deepening of civilization, the abduction and sale of women and the sale of marriages have now become rats in the street, and everyone shouts and beats.
Just last June, a 17-year-old girl Xiaoxian (a pseudonym) reported her parents for forced marriage in Yuntan Town, Gaozhou City, Guangdong Province.
With the intervention of the local women's federation, judicial office and other departments, the parents of both parties canceled the marriage contract, and Xiaoxian's parents refunded 50,000 yuan in gift money.
With the help of the child's own efforts and the help of local multi-departmental and social organizations, she re-entered the high school and embarked on the normal track of "reading to change fate".
As Han Shimei said: "A woman must find someone you love to marry again. Otherwise, she will be blind in her life." Only if fate is governed by her own will, is not traded, or arranged, then the next life will be Be able to take full responsibility, win or lose, have no regrets, and leave no regrets.
I hope that the tragedy that happened to Han Shimei will never happen again.