On Wednesday, in "Sans Rendez-vous", the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to a listener who wonders about the almost systematic consumption of her partner's poppers during their sexual relations.
He worries that this is an addiction or a way to compensate for a lack of desire.
Wednesday, in the show "Sans Rendez-vous", the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to Fabien, a young man in a relationship who is worried about seeing his companion use poppers systematically during their sexual relations for six months. He wonders if this indicates an addiction or a lack of desire for him. The sex therapist answers him that if his doubts are not necessarily founded, there may be reasons to be concerned about such behavior.
Wednesday, in the show "Sans Rendez-vous", the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to Fabien, a young man in a relationship who is worried about seeing his companion use poppers systematically during their sexual relations for six months.
He wonders if this indicates an addiction or a lack of desire for him.
The sex therapist answers him that if his doubts are not necessarily founded, there may be reasons to be concerned about such behavior.
"With my boyfriend, we have sex and he has developed the annoying habit of always wanting to consume poppers during sex. The first time, I admit that I found it a little funny, but it has been going on for six months. and he still keeps taking poppers. Is it because he's addicted to poppers or because he doesn't want me anymore? "
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Catherine Blanc's response
The poppers are first used for euphoric questions.
It is not considered a drug but there is the idea of a euphoria to set a kind of party fire, just like alcohol for others.
Then there is a vasodilator effect which will cause dilation - which is why it is particularly consumed by gay couples - although it does not work at all for everyone.
Today, there are many young people who are looking for this escape, this euphoria, to go full blast in sexuality.
Maybe also to avoid what worries them there.
Can there be an abuse of this substance?
To use it constantly is to consider that the relationship itself is not going to bring that euphoria.
It is also considering that the enthusiasm or excitement of the relationship does not allow it and looking for it elsewhere.
The question is not so much "does he not want me" as "is he fit to meet me".
Or "is it absolutely necessary for him to use the poppers to tell an exciting story", knowing that the effect is very short.
This tells of a difficulty of feeling, of pleasure, of excitement that only the poppers, in its sudden effects, will be able to offer.
But by doing this, he doesn't even give himself the opportunity to trust his relationship and sexual journey.
He doesn't trust sex and relationships to go through intense things.
And he's going to go and get it in something outside, which is extremely sad.
Is it an addiction?
Yes, there is an addiction problem.
Just because it is not a labeled drug does not mean that it is not for the individual.
The same goes for sugar, we know very well that the consumption of sugar leads to a desire to consume it.
He has an inability to manufacture pleasure hormones on his own and expects everything from poppers for his enjoyment.
Should he give him an ultimatum?
It's the same question if someone needs a drink to have sex with me.
Do I want to be involved in a story where I am not an actor or actress of the relationship and the joy of the relationship?
You have to know how to say stop.
"It doesn't match my sexuality. It's a denigration of me."
You have to refuse to be locked up yourself in this way of considering the sexuality in which the other is locked.