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The Berlin vaccine misery claims again victims.

The Senate Commissioner for Sustainability and Organic Raw Materials is about to be kicked out.

What happened?

After repeated complaints that there were not enough nurses and doctors on the Berlin labor market, the capital is facing the next big breakdown.

The shortage of staff is repeated at the vaccination centers that were built in Berlin, among other things, in the huge hangars of Tempelhof Airport: In addition to the procurement of sufficient vaccine, the provision of sufficient staff was also neglected.

The self-proclaimed “lateral thinkers” have already scoffed at the fact that those who want to be vaccinated - whom they call sleeping sheep - now have to suffer a compulsory non-vaccination.

The Senate Commissioner for Sustainability and Organic Raw Materials, Bärbel Woll-Wiese, had read about the pandemic in rural Ireland in DIE WELT.

Following a spontaneous inspiration, she wrote to the Governing Mayor Michael Müller (SPD).

200 vaccinations per hour

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She had researched that sheep farmers in County Tyrone, Ireland are not only famous for the speed with which they shear sheep.

During the annual vaccinations, top professionals administer up to 200 vaccinations - per hour.

Woll-Wiese therefore wrote a paper for the coalition meeting, which the coalition then passed.

Then 323 sheep farmers were flown in from tax revenues to get the vaccination centers going.

The Commissioner also pointed out that there was no known case of vaccination damage in Irish sheep.

This was confirmed by the director of the clinic for trans-European sheep / goats * at the University of Veterinary Medicine Hannover, Professor M. Ähwidder.

Berlin signs Irish shepherds

The governing mayor and health senator Dilek Kalaycik (SPD) saw their vaccination center project saved.

Since car traffic in downtown Berlin has decreased significantly due to the pandemic, the police officers and their male colleagues, who are called politeurs according to the new Duden, are underemployed.

The Berlin Senate, known for its cost-efficient governance, then quickly retrained these specialists to become vaccination specialists.

After just one week, they had already signed 323 sheep farmers from Tyrone who had become unemployed after Brexit.

But then a fatal mistake of reasoning by Woll-Wieses was revealed, which went unnoticed by the Berlin Senate in its work routine: County Tyrone is in Northern Ireland - and that is still part of the United Kingdom.

Dispute between London and Brussels

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The British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had hardly noticed the poaching of British skilled workers when he set up a spontaneous press conference yesterday.

He called on the EU to improve the terms of the trade agreement in his favor and, among other things, to enable time-shearing contracts for Erasmus students * with British barbers.

Because it is already evident that the capital of the largest EU country would be lost without British help.

EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen was caught cold by Johnson's ridicule.

She did not wait for an official procedure, but called Michael Müller directly last night.

She set a deadline by the end of next week.

If Berlin does not deport its new vaccination specialists to their home country by then, the EU Commission would exclude Berlin from the EU.

Now Müller is under pressure.

The agreements in the coalition rule out any short-term deportation.

Berlin plans to build a wall

A Senate working group chaired by the commissioner for sustainability and organic raw materials, Woll-Wiese, who is probably still in office, has been working out border security plans since the day before yesterday.

These envisage a new Berlin Wall made of corrugated cardboard and hemp composite.

Mayor Müller is convinced that Berlin would once again become a tourist attraction within a wall.

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But he revealed his ulterior motive to the press: by the time the Berlin Wall fell in 1989, the Berlin administration had worked fine.

And the city was delighted with the generous billions in transfers to “Berlin-Aid” from the federal government.

Mildly, Müller concludes that the administration would function perfectly again overnight and that the Berlin aid would probably flow again if a new wall were in place.

But this would be better than the old one.

Without watchtowers and shooting orders, but recyclable.

There would also be no more inequality, as it would protect all Berliners.

Vaccination centers secured

And by means of the returning subsidies one could recruit medical specialists from abroad with top salaries - and the vaccination centers would be occupied.

If you manage as well as ever, says Müller, you can also pay the 323 sheep farmers a return premium.

And since nobody is responsible for anything in Berlin anyway, there are never any resignations - that's why Woll-Wiese will probably stay in office.

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