Experience report: Bad purchases are the shopping experience in lockdown

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The crisis and the isolation that comes with it is also a time for self-reflection and profound insights.

And so, between the years, the time in which this effect - due to the turn of the year - was intensified again, I became aware of some things.

Especially when it comes to my online shopping performance.

So far I had assumed that I was especially, well, good at it.

According to Statista, around 14 percent of 30 to 49-year-old consumers returned their online purchases last year.

In the age group below it was even 19 percent.

My personal return rate for clothing, on the other hand, tended towards zero.

In terms of size, I was almost always correct, my trained eye was able to judge the fit in most cases, and I also had enough experience with the material composition so that the haptics usually felt as I had suspected.

It could annoy me all the more that my kitchen has recently started to look like a logistics center in which the returns are piling up.

Admittedly, the number of my online orders had recently increased significantly.

Christmas gifts had to be ordered online in order to close shops, and my consumption behavior had also increased dramatically, as a substitute satisfaction for going to restaurants and bar evenings.

Accordingly, of course, something went wrong more often.

A blazer that had to be belted was way too big, a graphic patterned vintage Prada trousers fit while standing, but sitting in them would have been practically impossible, a steamer whirred but did not emit any steam.

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And obviously there was also a lot of chaos among suppliers, shops and deliverers.

At Christmas, fate seemed to decide who got their delivery on time - or who was left empty-handed or with an obviously wrong present.

For example, I originally wanted to give my newborn nephew a ringed body, but instead on the 24th I only had a Helmut Lang polo shirt in a men's size that the online shop had incorrectly sent to me.

Since the return deadline is only a few weeks, the wrong or ill-fitting goods are now being shipped.

And what can I say - I had no idea how complicated this process can be.

At Zara, for example, I need several attempts to look through the system.

Anyone who has ordered there as a guest must first register on the website in order to request a return.

If it is approved, you will receive an email - a return label will be sent to you.

However, this is only a QR code, which in turn refers back to the order overview, but does not generate a label.

When I show the code in the DHL shop, I am turned away.

A label is required.

A lady standing next to me groans: “Zara makes it really difficult.” Well, possibly to avoid returns.

And when you consider that many fashion items are not infrequently destroyed after being returned instead of being sold again, that even makes sense.

On a second visit to the DHL shop, the QR code is willingly scanned - and it works.

Another day I go to the customs office.

I had ordered a supposedly inexpensive sailor dress from an American vintage boutique.

In the desolate, unheated room of a barren 1960s building, which does not seem worthy of my fancy shopping, I am asked to present proof of purchase.

Neither I nor hardly anyone else, let's call ourselves a shopping victim, is prepared accordingly, and so forms have to be laboriously filled out by hand and tediously digging through digital inboxes.

Once you have found the receipt, you should screenshot it and send it by email to a specially set up email account, the address of which, as a precaution, has already been printed out on the glass wall of the counter.

I pay 19 percent VAT on the original purchase price, which no longer seems like a bargain to me.

While I am waiting in this bare hall for the sailor's dress to be handed over to me, I look at a display case in which fakes and confiscated goods are on display for educational purposes.

Fake Lacoste shirts, badly copied Nike sneakers, soccer jerseys.

My gaze wanders to the wall.

Frank-Walter Steinmeier smiles reprovingly down at me from an oversized portrait photograph.

I feel like in a penitentiary institution where you are literally encouraged to rethink your rash shopping behavior.

Then I think that this is exactly where the fun lies in fashion.

Not to let reason prevail - especially in times when you have to adhere to enough regulations.

Even if that means a lot more work.