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Queen Elizabeth II can no longer watch the unworthy spectacle: After the current events in Washington, the regent has declared the independence of the USA from the British Crown as "immediately ended" and deposed the previous ruler Donald Trump.

In her decree, the 94-year-old regent made it clear that the kingdom had been interested in the events in the North American overseas colonies for over 240 years and, for the most part, had observed them favorably.

Confusion over Capitol Storm

“But recently we have had to realize with great concern that the trust we have placed in our American subjects has been abused,” said the British Queen, “that is why we feel obliged to restore law and order in our lands across the Atlantic to worry because it's all totally embarrassing. "

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In addition, guys with strange fur hats on their heads have no business in venerable buildings, the Queen was extremely irritated by the latest pictures from her territory, which had been self-governing from 1776 until today.

"Silly!

People like that are normally used as security guards, ”remarked Elizabeth, referring to the distinctive bearskin hats of her“ Grenadier Guards ”.

USA reacts with relief

Which makes things much easier for the Queen: Ending the independence of the United States does not even require military intervention.

Unlike in 1776, the settlers have no grudge against the British crown, on the contrary: The residents of Old York (formerly New York), for example, can't wait to be "ruled by the leading actress in one of the best Netflix series" and hope that the temporary re-establishment of the monarchy will bring an end to the undignified chaos in which the hopelessly divided colony has been for some time.

Extremely harsh penalties for Trump

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Until the release of the United States into a renewed “independence on probation”, which is to take place after the inauguration of the new Governor Joe Biden on January 20, the British crown makes an example of the deposed president: “The rebel Donald Trump can be ridiculed of people from now on only present in public as follows: with silly horns on their heads and bare chests ", reads the royal decree," so that it should always be reminded of his shameful role in the storming of the Capitol. "Queen Elizabeth also takes that away from him Mobile away.

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