Interview with "Two-to-One Marriage" Researcher: Why it has arisen in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, how to negotiate within the family
"Men are not called marrying, and women are not marrying" "My family is not marrying a daughter, and your family is not marrying a daughter-in-law."
Recently, a marriage model called "two-headed marriage" has attracted attention.
Zhao Chunlan is a Ph.D. in the School of Social Development and Public Policy at Fudan University and a lecturer at the School of Marxism at Zhejiang International Studies University. From the end of 2016 to the beginning of 2017, she paid attention to the phenomenon of "marriage of two ends".
In July 2020, she and her doctoral supervisor, Professor Fan Lizhu of the School of Social Development Policy, Fudan University, collaborated on the paper "On the Social Attributes of Marriage and Childbirth-Field Observations on the Evolution of Marriage and Childbirth Patterns in Rural North Zhejiang under the Background of Fewer Children", published in " Hebei Academic Journal, No. 4 of 2020, this article uses a water village located in the western suburbs of Hangzhou, Zhejiang as a case study to explore the marriage and childbirth model of "two-to-head marriage" and "two-tou surname" in water villages in northern Zhejiang.
Zhao Chunlan told The Paper (www.thepaper.cn) that from a sociological point of view, "marriage at both ends" is a positive attempt and has played a significant role in the improvement of intergenerational relations.
In addition, in the "two-headed marriage" form of marriage, "discuss carefully and not care about everything" is one of the most important factors for marriage harmony.
"The'marriage at both ends' must be a long-term contract between a man and a woman or both families based on equality. If the contractual relationship of marriage is to be maintained, it cannot be merely an expression of one party's needs." Zhao Chunlan said.
"'Marriage at both ends' is full of negotiation, including the child's surname"
The Paper: What is "marriage of two ends"? What is the definition?
Zhao Chunlan:
First of all, I want to clarify that the so-called "two-headed marriage" previously reported by the media refers to "two-headed marriages" which means that they live in their own homes. This is not accurate. It is not that they live in their own homes.
But there are wedding rooms on both sides, and there is room for living.
In July 2020, the article published by my tutor Fan Lizhu and I in the "Hebei Academic Journal" actually made it very clear that the whole "marriage of two ends" is full of negotiation, including the question of whose surname is the child. The negotiation process.
What exactly does "marriage at both ends" mean?
I personally think that there will be several more obvious characteristics.
For example, when getting married, "men are not called to marry, and women are not called to marry", and there is no exchange on the wedding ceremony between the two parties.
Another feature includes having two children, which is basically a hard standard, because both sides need the continuation of the offspring.
Finally, the children’s surnames basically need to be negotiated with each other, one for each side.
In addition, living on both sides is also a typical feature, not just referring to the man’s house or the woman’s house, but to both.
The Paper: Why did "two-to-one marriage" rise in Jiangsu and Zhejiang?
Zhao Chunlan:
I think there are several reasons for the popularity.
Only-child families have difficulties in family succession, property inheritance, and old-age care. On the other hand, the previous policy of "two children and two children" also provides feasibility for solving these difficulties.
In addition, the structure of rural society in Jiangsu and Zhejiang is still super solid, which is very different from the hollowing out of rural areas in northwest or central China.
Why is it "super solid"?
Because young people’s economic conditions are relatively good or they have many job opportunities, young people are reluctant to leave their villages.
The word "super" is because here, not only the young people are unwilling to leave, but the foreign population also keeps gathering.
I take Zhejiang Water Village as a research case. Although Zhejiang Water Village is undergoing expropriation and demolition, it is still a relatively complete community.
In this small-scale community, the combination of locals and locals has become very important.
The economic strengths of the two sides are equal, and both sides have the need to pass on from generation to generation, and the marriage form of "two-headed marriage" will naturally arise.
The Paper: There is a saying on the Internet that most of the "two-headed marriage" families are demolition households.
Zhao Chunlan:
Not necessarily. There is no inevitable connection between the two. It was not because of the demolition that they chose to get married.
Take Zhejiang Shui Village as an example. Because they are in the junction of the suburbs, demolition occurs.
Do "two-headed marriage" families have many suites?
There are also such cases, but the house is only one part of their wealth.
"The'marriage of the two ends' must be harmonious, and it is important to discuss it carefully"
The Paper:
You mentioned that "marriage at both ends" requires negotiation to achieve a balance in marriage and life.
Zhao Chunlan:
Yes, I think negotiation is a main feature. In addition, this kind of balance involves the harmony of the whole family. In many cases, this kind of balance is achieved through compromise.
Speaking of the negotiation mechanism of "two-headed marriage", a lot of things will come naturally after the "two-headed marriage" can be accepted.
When you first get married, there are many things to negotiate.
For example, who is the child’s surname, how to make the wedding room, and whether to pay the bride price, because these are related to some particularly important issues, so the negotiation is very strong.
But as life is on the right track, when two families can get along well and harmoniously, there is actually not so much negotiation. Everyone is easy to talk and negotiate.
The Paper: What do "two-headed marriage" families care most about?
Zhao Chunlan:
I think the concept of
passing
on from generation to generation is the reason for the "two-headed marriage" in the beginning.
The Paper: Is the form of marriage of "two-headed marriage" progressive?
Zhao Chunlan:
I published an oral account in The
Paper
before, and the headline we used at the time was "Tradition and Modernity Reconcile in This Village."
Personally, I think it sums up very well.
But the two words traditional and modern are actually vocabularies given by scholars. They have no such concept of the lives of ordinary people.
They feel that this approach has actually solved a series of life problems such as the inheritance of the family with only one child, the reluctance of their daughter to leave their family, and the elderly.
The Paper: What are the characteristics of successful cases of "two-to-one marriage"?
Zhao Chunlan:
Among the successful cases of "two-to-one marriage", one of the most important ones is that the parents should discuss it carefully and don't care about it. If you want to succeed, it must be like this.
The Paper: Is there any case of marriage failure in the "marriage of two ends"?
Zhao Chunlan:
A family marriage fails, I think most of the situation is still the same, there will be some specific reasons that are caused by the "marriage of two ends".
For example, I recently read the news that in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, a young couple divorced within three months, and the two went to court because of their children.
This should be regarded as a typical "two-head marriage" failure case.
Why is it so?
There are two very important key factors for the success of "two-headed marriage". One is that the parents of both parties must know how to compromise, or be indifferent and open-minded; in addition, the young couples on both sides must have opinions about their lives and have a responsible attitude. .
The Paper: In the process of interviewing people who witnessed the "two-headed marriage", some interviewees said that the proposal of the "two-headed marriage" is mostly the request of the woman's family because it can preserve the woman's family name and go down pass. Is this the case that you presented during the actual investigation?
Zhao Chunlan:
This is a large part of the reason, but from a sociological perspective, "marriage at both ends" must be a long-term contract between a man and a woman or a family based on equality.
In order to maintain the contractual relationship of marriage, it cannot be merely an expression of one party's needs. Men also have many considerations.
We analyze it from a sociological perspective. For example, male parents will also consider the issue of their own old-age care, the issue of property continuity for the entire family's descendants, and the issue of emotional companionship.
I think a large part of the reason for accepting "marriage between two ends" is that both parties have the same needs.
In fact, women still have a lot of right to speak, and the same is true in the rural areas of Jiangsu and Zhejiang.
I have noticed a phenomenon. In cities, many families are willing to live with their grandmothers. I understand this phenomenon because women have a strong voice. As long as their mothers are willing to bring children, most of them are not willing to grandma. Brought.
"'Marriage at both ends' is a positive attempt, which has played a big role in the improvement of intergenerational relations"
The Paper: Some people think that "marriage of two ends" actually means that parents interfere more in the lives of young people. What do you think?
Zhao Chunlan:
I think this is just a hypothesis of people, which is not in line with most actual situations.
Marriage is a social system arrangement. "Marriage at both ends" is a positive attempt because it has played a very important role in the improvement of intergenerational relations.
From a practical point of view, in terms of old-age care, the "two-headed marriage" has solved the emotional needs of the two families. Two local young men and women have freely established a romantic relationship. When they discuss the marriage relationship, their parents will also They make some compromises.
At the same time, young couples themselves also have filial piety. They want to take care of their parents and enjoy life in the local area. This is the actual situation in most families who choose "two-headed marriage".
Many people think that young people in rural areas should go out of the countryside, otherwise their parents are interfering with the lives of young people. This is actually just an imaginary and does not match the actual situation.
The Paper: Some people think that the form of "two-headed marriage" is different from the independence of marriage advocated by modern marriage. What do you think?
Zhao Chunlan:
When we look at the "marriage of two ends" from a sociological perspective, we will see that it has jumped out of policy regulation and the individual itself. Instead, it has chosen to be in a circle like a small society in Jiangsu and Zhejiang. This kind of culture or social system arrangement naturally forms this form of marriage.
What I have always wanted to emphasize is that "marriage at both ends" is a positive attempt, and it is a positive attempt by society as a whole.
In addition, even from an individual level, there are of course failures, and there are many people who accept this form of marriage.
I can share a "two-headed marriage" female witness's evaluation of her marriage form. She said: "I think'two-headed marriage' reflects the enlightenment of the older generation and gives young people more freedom to make choices. It’s not like Old Antique’s thinking that my wife’s family must hire a son-in-law.” Therefore, I can’t agree with the accusation that "dual marriage" turns women into fertility tools. I think it is also "dual marriage". "The witnesses disagree.
The Paper Journalist, Yu Yan, and intern Yan Zhaoxin