PSYCHOLOGY: 'Mental Rumination': How to get out of the loop of obsessive thoughts that destroy you inside
We live in the world of 'happy end', of 'they were happy and they ate partridges' (with quinoa). But, to what extent does this relentless pursuit of happiness prevent us from appreciating how lucky we really are?
"It depends on the basis on which we base that long-awaited happiness
", answers Sergi Torres, writer, speaker and one of the experts who participate in the Diana application, the meditation and mindfulness 'skill' in Spanish that Grupo Planeta has launched with the support from Amazon Alexa.
We live in an introspective age, how can we take advantage of this internal reflection that the pandemic has forced us to do to come out stronger or, at least, not sink further?
The current situation reveals our ignorance when it comes to feeling our own emotions and also experiencing unexpected events.
The only way I know to take advantage of what we have had to live is by treating it as an apprenticeship.
We can use it as a tool to learn to feel the emotions that are emerging now - such as uncertainty - and investigate them deeply.
When a human being knows what he feels he does not feel crushed by it.
At the end of the day, the emotions we feel are energy and energy allows us to feel alive and carry out great transformations. Don't you think that all this has helped us to face our fears and, in a way, reset our lives? Yes , It is obvious that it serves to face our fears, because the same situation already takes care of it.
However, resetting our lives is not so clear anymore, because it depends on the exercise that each one does individually in the face of everything they are currently facing. I think most of us are finding it in this context the possibility of leaving behind their own outdated ways of understanding life, old perspectives from which to understand oneself and even obsolete modes of behavior.But, again, this scenario to which the pandemic has led us is only going to show us what is transformable , but we will have to be the ones to take a step in that direction.
If we allow ourselves to be carried away by fear and do not move towards that transformation, without realizing it, we will refuse to accept what is happening and we will see the current situation as a threat to our well-being rather than as an opportunity to mature as human beings. selfish and narcissistic by nature?
Why this obsession to 'change the world', to 'leave our mark'? Human beings are only selfish when they ignore that they are part of a whole.
This separate vision that the current human being has, although it is the majority, is not our nature.
So we could say that selfishness is not natural.
Selfishness is born as a result of turning our back on our deep human nature. Living under the influence of selfishness 'forces' us to demand that the world we live in be in a way that fulfills us and makes us feel good.
That leads us to want to change it and, on the other hand, to want to feel like someone in the world.
Therefore, we want to leave a mark on it.
If I may joke, nowadays the way the patio is, perhaps the best thing to do would be to go unnoticed, but at the same time, we are devoured by the feeling of guilt, of having everything 'half done'.
How do we deal with it? Unconsciously felt guilt devalues us and leads us to need the circumstances that surround us to be the way they are not in order not to feel guilty, this exerts great pressure on us which in turn leads us to exert the same pressure on our environment and those around us.
And from this to feeling even more guilty. However, guilt felt in a mature way allows us to be free to choose how we want to live in the present. Why is it so hard for us to be happy with what we have? Because what we have is not what we have. We have it because it makes us happy, we have it because we think it makes us happy. And to what extent does this obsession with being happy make us unhappy? It depends on what we base our happiness on.
If we base it on the present moment, the moment in which life passes, we will feel happy to be alive; on the contrary, if we base our happiness on our needs, our attention will focus on those things, people or situations that we naively believe , which will make us feel happy. In this scenario, the happy experience becomes a life governed by dissatisfaction and an existential emptiness that very few people attend to. What can we do to avoid transmitting this permanent dissatisfaction to our children? In this case, there is no answer that I can give that will serve others.
What I can share is that when I am with my son, it helps me to see that, without realizing it, I demand that he be a source of satisfaction for me. For me it is also very important to focus on feeling my own dissatisfaction.
Consciously feeling, without rejecting, my dissatisfaction is something very satisfying and liberating. In any case, our children will always show us very clearly our shortcomings and wounds.
Do you give us homework?
What do we do to not get carried away by this 'nonsense' now that Christmas is coming? Something very simple, so much so that it even seems difficult: leave ourselves alone and be very honest with ourselves when it comes to feeling what we are feeling when it does. we are feeling.
This, put into practice, will lead us to enjoy something deeply human: feeling.
According to the criteria of The Trust Project
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