THE SEX QUESTION - My husband wants to have sex too often in front of porn, what to do?

In the show "Sans rendez-vous" on Friday on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc answers Émilie's question.

This listener recounts that her husband increasingly wants to have sex in front of pornographic films.

She can't take it anymore and wonders if it's normal.

For our sex therapist, this fragility of her husband can come from an addiction.

A couple's sexuality and pornography don't always go hand in hand.

In the program Sans rendez-vous Friday on Europe 1, sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers Emilie's question.

This listener reports that her husband wants to make love more and more often in front of pornographic films, which she can no longer bear.

She wonders if her partner's desires are normal.

>> Find all sexo questions in replay and podcast here

Emilie's question

"My husband wants to make love more and more often in front of a porn movie. Every once in a while, why not ... But all the time, I get drunk. I feel like he needs to see other women to be aroused, is that normal? "

Catherine Blanc's response

"It certainly comes to meet his fantasies. Even though we are with someone, love that someone, and that someone is a source of excitement, our brains are constantly crafting scenarios, so more or less conscious, moreover. Doubtless that for some it is necessary to appeal to it to find external stimuli, perhaps because of the recurrence of the relationship and a possible difficulty in seeing his wife whole. In any case, he is not turned on all day by his wife so, in fact, to be in the start of sexuality, he uses things that are strongly sexual to put himself in a sexual role. .

>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous in replay and podcast here

Émilie thinks it's to see other women, it could be.

But it may also be a story of rivalry with men, to see yourself from the point of view of the actor who is playing the sex scene.

Its purpose is not necessarily to see women at the mercy of a man, or offered, or in extreme enjoyment.

Perhaps it is a man-to-man story that is at the origin of his excitement.

Isn't it humiliating for his partner to do it systematically?

This first shows a weakness in the ability to be creative on his own.

I need to see something from the outside, to be a voyeur, this extra something and I don't know how to create it, I don't know how to invent it in my head, I have to see it.

There is something quite addicting.

It can be an addiction and obviously, consequently, it excludes the partner who becomes nothing more than the object to manufacture the act.

To accept him is to damage the relationship more and more: he is in something extremely mechanical, there is no activity.

She is in something extremely submissive - besides the fact that the film will tend to give this position to the woman - and we can understand that she does not find what she is looking for at all.

To let things happen for too long like that, we considerably damage the relationship, sexuality and even more female enjoyment.

Can watching pornographic films give one or the other desires elsewhere?

Pornography is not real life.

In this case, I don't think her companion is taking any chances, because she herself says it gets her drunk.

So as much to tell you that she does not watch porn and that she does not compare her companion to the handsome man with his chocolate bar and his wonderful member.

Finally, what is problematic is the lack of eyes on her since they are exclusively on the screen.

Either way, it's very destructive of sexuality.

Sexuality needs to be always in motion: not necessarily in the application of one position or another, in motion in our head, in our fantasies ... It needs to reinvent and rewrite itself.

However, there is a scenario which is all tied up, which is always the same.

It's about standing in front of a television to see something.

Shouldn't you just unplug the screen?

If it were that easy, I would take a vacation.

Things, unfortunately, do not turn out that way.

Here, it is that there is perhaps something in the way he approached sexuality, perhaps already as a child.

An addiction which is old and from which he cannot get rid of.

Gradually, it damages her sexuality and the sexuality of her couple. "