The Korean variety show "We Are Divorced" started broadcasting.
The trend of the plot made the audience who came with the heart of gossip shouted by surprise. Just after the update of the two episodes, it has become the Korean ratings champion at the same time.
On Weibo, the number of views on the topic of #我们婚纱了# reached 910 million and 86,000 discussed.
Netizens sighed that not every relationship is divorced because of not love.
Jiang Bing, a national second-level psychological counselor, wrote that in fact, the phenomena presented in variety shows are also a true portrayal of our daily lives.
Not every relationship is divorced because of not love
The first couple to appear on the show are actors Xian Yu Eun Sook and Li Young Ha.
The two were originally star model couples and suddenly announced their divorce after 26 years of marriage.
Since 14 years have passed, neither party has remarried.
In the eyes of some viewers, they are likely to be together again.
The second couple is a young man who has been divorced for seven months. They still seem to be in love.
Judging from the various details presented in the show, the celebrity couple used to be a typical traditional couple. The man likes to go out to socialize. “There is often a wine shop, 7 days a week, 6 days are all in the early morning.” The woman invests in the family More energy and emotion.
Even after the divorce, the two people still keep the original pattern of getting along. The woman helps the man find a house, decorate, and even share a cleaning aunt.
It can be seen that the woman has nostalgia for the marriage relationship.
The second reason for the divorce of the couple came from the man’s father. The man’s father was in his 80s, with a hot personality and direct speech. He had a deep prejudice against his daughter-in-law, even in the presence of her little granddaughter. , Are all zero points."
The man cannot change his father's attitude, nor can he disobey his father, so he cannot maintain the marriage.
In marriage, two different people will have many disagreements
In fact, the phenomena presented in variety shows are also a true portrayal of our daily lives.
There is love on both sides, but love alone is not enough.
A is a full-time housewife, she said she is the real version of "Jin Zhiying Born in 1982".
A quit his job after giving birth and focused on the family wholeheartedly.
A's contribution was not recognized in her lover's home.
The other's parents think that A chooses to be a housewife for leisure, but they feel sorry for their son who is working hard for the elderly.
At first, A’s lover was able to share the housework of taking the children to wash clothes and cook with A. After a long time, I don’t know if he was brainwashed by his parents, or he also had complaints in his heart. He went home and did almost nothing, only playing on the phone. And rest.
A many times feel discouraged and think of divorce, but I have no idea what to do after divorce. As I get older, it is difficult to find a suitable job.
A has become more and more inferior, feels that his future is very gloomy, and his heart is always full of sorrow, and often falls into regret for the past.
Compared with A's sorrow and regret, B is more helpless about the marriage relationship.
B's daily life is like a monotonous assembly line.
She will get up at 5:30 in the morning to prepare breakfast. There are children in the family, even if she does not eat, she must prepare breakfast for the children.
After breakfast, B sends his child to school and then goes to work by himself.
Pick up the kids after get off work, and then go home to cook dinner.
Accompany your child to do homework after dinner.
Before going to bed, B prepares the clothes that the child will wear tomorrow, and matches it with the breakfast recipe for tomorrow.
As for the child's father, he can sleep until he wakes up naturally in the morning, take a bite when he has time, and buy and eat on the way to work before he can.
In the evening, if a friend asks to drink, I will go home later.
The same is working to make money, why do you have to do more?
Is this "widowed" marriage necessary?
It's not that A and B have never thought about communicating. Their other half will change a little after the communication, but they will soon return to their original state. This is not a problem that communication can solve.
In marriage, when two different people are combined, there may be many disagreements, such as personality, habits, hobbies, thinking patterns, and so on.
Just like Tetris, you can't guarantee that every piece will fit perfectly before the cube accelerates down.
Marriage is a process of running-in and trying, or it can be said to be a process of compromise.
If two people do not compromise, the gap will grow bigger and bigger, and it will be precarious.
What can be done before the marriage is irreversible?
Both A and B directly raised a clear question during the consultation: What else can we do before divorce?
Self-awareness to realize what you want in a marriage relationship?
Can the other party give me what I want?
If the other party can't give, can I accept this status quo?
Sun Yu Eun-sook is very concerned about the man in the show. Even after the divorce, he still takes care of him in all aspects.
She likes to devote her energy and feelings to the family, and she also hopes that the other person is like this.
But after the divorce, the man enjoys the life after the divorce.
It can be seen that the needs of the two parties are different. There is no right or wrong for this kind of demand. It would be unreasonable to force the other party to follow their own methods.
Divorce is to live a better life than before, so it seems that their divorce may be the right choice.
Looking at problematic marriages from multiple angles, the relationship between two people is prone to imbalance. If a person thinks that his contribution and gain are out of proportion, instability will occur. Find out what is the cause of the imbalance.
When two people enter into marriage, they are always in love and are willing to give more. What they gain is emotional enjoyment and a sense of being needed.
The intrusion of the trivial matters of married life can change the measurement standards of giving and gain.
At this time, think about it from another angle, do you really pay more than the other party?
Do you really need him?
B became more objective when thinking about this issue.
She usually only pays attention to daily life. In fact, on some other days, such as weekends, her lover will take the children out to play.
When something big happened in the family, such as the death of the old man in B, it was his lover who took care of the funeral.
Thinking about it this way, B felt that his previous ideas were a bit biased.
What she really wants is some time and space of her own, to take a vacation.
And this thing is easy to achieve.
Strengthen self-concept. When problems arise in marriage, people will lose confidence. At this time, self-concept should be strengthened.
A quit her job to be a housewife. She lost her self-confidence in the disapproval of her family.
Marital problems are sometimes caused by a collision between two families.
This is very similar to the second couple in "We Divorced".
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you may not be able to change other people's ideas, so focus on yourself.
What A needs to do is to start again and plan for the future.
Don't regret the previous choice. The choice at that moment must be the result of weighing the pros and cons by yourself.
Accepting the things that cannot be changed and changing the parts that you can control, such as improving yourself and regaining self-confidence, are also preparing for changes that may occur in the future.
People who expand support resources and trust to talk about their problems will have unexpected results.
It can be the closest person, or it can be a mutual help group. People with the same experience are more likely to get understanding and support.
You can also ask the professionals for help, which may make you feel better.
If you have done a lot and still lost your marriage, don’t worry about it.
If you don't need an uncomfortable relationship, just let it go, so that you can have a new start.
Jiang Bing