The Paper, reporter Huang Jijie, intern Chen Canjie and Wang Hang
Since he was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer, 28-year-old Yao Ce has lost nearly 30 kilograms, his head appears larger on his body, and his voice is faint and hoarse.
After eating, the stomach sometimes burns and sometimes swells and pains.
Next to his bed was a small basin covered with a plastic bag, which was used to catch vomit.
He doesn't go out too much, at most he walks downstairs.
The painkillers ranged from one to two or three pills a day in the past; the number of indwelling needles for infusions was increased, and the veins became thinner and thinner. The nurse changed his arms several times and couldn't find a place for the needle hole.
But when a visitor enters the ward, Yao Ce will still receive with a full voice, joking, "I forgot to wash my hair in the morning, is my image okay?" The patient sent a message, and he responded one by one, "Qian If there is no good news, he will rarely update on Douyin.
The nurse looked for a place on Yao Ce's arm where he could get a needle.
The Paper, reporter Huang Jijie
Yao Ce was treated in Hangzhou and responded to messages to netizens.
The Paper, reporter Huang Jijie
Yao Ce has been living here since the end of October in the Department of Oncology, 2nd Floor, C District, Hangzhou Shulan Hospital.
In the past 9 months, he switched between treatment at a different place and recuperation at home. He has become accustomed to a turbulent life. He has been separated from his son seven or eight times a month, and he can hardly remember what it was like to say goodbye.
"School and vacation", Yao Ce calls this round-trip process, always saying that it is not good to be hospitalized.
Examination, infusion, and medication are all homework. The pathology report is like a transcript. When will the next transcript arrive?
It was nearly 11 o'clock that day, and he did not fall asleep for a long time.
In the darkness, he was lying on the bed with his phone and playing inspirational videos one by one.
If it weren't for the sound of the video, he could hear the heart trembling strongly with the diaphragm, and he felt the body fighting against the pain.
But the cause of insomnia is not just pain. During the day, he just accepted an interview with a video media, which mentioned topics he hadn't thought of for a long time, about life and death and the future of his family.
Night is his rare fragile moment.
A lot of emotions came up, Yao Ce suppressed his voice and sobbed.
He thought of his son who had just passed his 3rd birthday, and his life without a father: Will Kaikai be bullied in the future?
Will he hate me?
He did not let his family know these feelings.
They are silent, forbearing, suspicion, and caring for each other. From the beginning of the story, they have protected each other in this way.
Joke of fate
When he knew his condition, Yao Ce wanted to hide from his mother Xu Min at first.
The call was made after a night of entanglement.
"I went to the hospital for a check-up yesterday, and the situation was not very good." "Just tell me what happened." On the other side of the phone, my mother was anxious.
"It should be liver cancer."
"Huh?" Mom hung up the phone after a few minutes, she explained that she was in the meeting room just now.
Yao Ce heard that Xu Min's voice was hoarse, knowing she had cried.
"Hurry home and talk again," Xu Min said.
What Yao Ce didn't tell his mother was that on February 15, the day he just noticed something was wrong with his body, he pulled his shoulders and back painfully, and he wanted to take his hands off.
The results of the examination revealed that the liver had a shadow of 14 cm, and the entire liver was only more than 20 cm. Medical professional Yao Ce knew it well.
Back in the room at night, facing the moon outside the window, Yao Ce thought of his parents, his wife and children, and finally he thought of death, a 30-story building, "Really, you can jump down when you close your eyes."
Xu Min didn't know all of this, she kept calling with experts.
Only 28 years old, how can I get sick?
They had just eaten the New Year's Eve dinner. Dad Yao cooked the palace duck and the duck head was so badly cooked. She loved sweets and made glutinous rice balls and eight-treasure rice.
She could not understand that since Yao Ce was diagnosed with hepatitis B at the age of 2 and a half, the tableware was blanched with hot water during meals. They went to various places for consultation and gave the child the best medicine.
The most extreme example is that Yao Ce's grandmother is very temperamental, and her liver disease can't be too greasy. Seeing a thick layer of oil floating on the braised pork made by Yao's father, grandma would just dump the whole dish.
By the time he got married, Yao Ce's hepatitis B carrying index had already changed from the big three yang to the small three yang, "all are very good", Xu Min kept recalling the details of the past.
Except for diseases, they live the most ordinary lives.
Xu Min and her husband have worked in Jiujiang's medical system for most of their lives, and their lives have gradually become well-off, and they will retire in a few years.
After graduating from University, Yao Ce first worked in the Medical Insurance Bureau. In 2017, he went to other places, first joined a game company in Shanghai, and started an e-commerce business in Ningbo.
During this period, Yao Ce got married and had children. The biggest worry was the phone call from the boss in the early morning.
Occasionally, when Yao Ce comes home on weekends, his father will cook a table of dishes.
They watched TV together. His mother loved comedy and watched it enthusiastically, and would laugh by herself. Yao Ce rolled his eyes and said, "You still watch such a naive TV series." His mother blamed him for not being too young.
Yao Ce, his mother Xu Min, and his father Yao Shibing.
Photo courtesy of respondents
Death is an easy relief, but it is harder to live.
Seeing the shocked eyes of his mother and wife when they faced the news from the doctor, Yao Ce let go of the thought of death. For the first time he realized the cruelty of being an only child, "My life is not only mine". Later he thought.
If it weren't for Yao Ce's illness, some truths might never be revealed.
In March, in order to provide Yao Ce with an alternative liver type, Xu Min and her husband both took blood and found that their blood type was A, and Yao Ce was AB.
The final DNA identification results showed that "Xu Min is Yao Ce's biological mother who does not support." On April 17, after a lot of searching, Xu Min met his biological son Guo Wei at the high-speed rail station in Zhumadian, Henan.
The news completely disrupted the lives and cognition of Xu Min and his wife.
She finally knew why the child got sick. This answer may have been doomed 28 years ago.
In 1992, Xu Min returned to her hometown in Kaifeng and was expecting a baby in Huaihe Hospital. She remembered the panic at the time: "I started suddenly. I rushed downstairs in the early morning. The corridor was dark and had a big belly. Mom and Dad hurried behind. Slowly. Point, I ran forward and it was all dark when I arrived at the hospital. My lover is still in the army and he can't make it back. I was born for a day and didn't drink a sip of water."
Xu Min's child was born, but due to the negligence of the hospital, it was replaced by a mother, Du Xinzhi, who was from Zhumadian.
And what Xu Min carried back was the baby with the red dots on his face. He looked around, not crying or making trouble, so good, just called "good", which became Yao Ce's nickname.
Yao Ce's biological mother is actually Du Xinzhi.
The fact that shocked them more than this is that Du Xinzhi suffered from hepatitis B during childbirth. In order to better block mother-to-child transmission, Yao Ce was not injected with a dose of immune globulin that should have been given to the child.
The family later believed that this was directly causal to Yao Ce's future liver cancer.
Knowing the time after their son was replaced, Xu Min and her husband kept their eyes open every night, trying to hide from Yao Ce, and thought of the most absurd and innocent explanation: they lost one twin, and now they found it in Henan.
She hid other people from crying, and cleaned herself up when she went to see Yao Ce in the ward. When Yao Ce looked at her phone, she became nervous.
Before, due to the difficulty of finding relatives, she and her husband sent a lot of information to the media for exposure.
Yao Ce still saw it on April 25.
In the circle of friends, he read a news article with the headline: "Mother cut the liver to save the son and found that the 28-year-old son was not blood relative."
He was curious and went in, thinking, how could it be so bloody?
There are related recommendations below the article. He opened the second one. At first glance, it was a photo of himself lying in a hospital bed.
Yao Ce's brain buzzed, "The sky is spinning."
It was Saturday. Yao Ce and his wife were sitting on the stone benches in Gantang Park. His son Kaikai was still playing beside him. His son liked the animal balloons sold in the park.
Gantang Park is also the place where Yao Ce grew up. He loves to play merry-go-rounds. His mother will take pictures of him. He grinned with teeth.
"Children like to laugh, just like mothers, mothers also love to laugh", relatives and friends always say.
Yao Ce rode a merry-go-round in Gantang Park when he was young.
Photo courtesy of respondents
The park is very lively, loud pop music is played on the speakers, "Don't think about it," and his wife seems to be looking at him and talking to him, but Yao Ce can't hear these sounds.
For more than ten minutes, he kept searching for relevant news, as if being enclosed in a cloud of isolated air.
Until dad calls, won't he go home for dinner?
Yao Ce said, good.
Yao Ce remembered that the only moment when his brain was blank was when he looked back at the news and found that the mother crying with her own child in the photo was his mother.
He didn't know the complicated feeling at the time, was he jealous?
Still jealous, lost?
He suddenly realized, "The tree that sheltered you from wind and rain for 28 years now tells you that this big tree belongs to someone else."
The river that hasn't crossed
"In what ways do you experience the greatness of maternal love?" After the mother Xu Min "cut the liver and save her son" went on the news, reporters often asked Yao Ce.
He always couldn't tell.
One afternoon when we met, sitting on the bed, he mumbled many trivial things on his own, as if he was in a memory: He loves to sleep late, and his mother still went to the house to wake up early in the morning. He really couldn’t lift the quilt and made a noise; he I rarely do housework, so my mother just talks about the litter, so I wash the clothes without saying a word; he doesn’t like to eat fruit, there will always be a pot of peeled apples directly at hand, until it slows in the air Slow oxidation.
When Yao Ce was a child, he and his mother Xu Min.
Photo courtesy of respondents
These have become the wooden hammer used by Yao Ce to keep beating his heart after he was ill and knew the wrong change.
After a dramatic day, Yao Ce and his parents did not talk in depth.
Even if he is convinced, "In any sense, she is a mother", Yao Ce will still figure out what his mother thinks.
Xu Min liked to boast in front of him at first that the son and daughter of Guo Wei's family, his sister can dance, and his younger brother can talk, Yao Ce feels uncomfortable, but he also thinks that his mother is very carefree and thinks of herself as the closest talent.
When they first agreed, mothers liked to look at their children's childhood photos. Yao Ce felt that mothers wanted to understand the growth trajectory of their own children.
When he saw his brother Guo Wei, he was decent and trustworthy. At that moment, Yao Ce didn't think of himself, but the photo of Xu Min confessing his relatives at the high-speed rail station and crying with Guo Wei.
He felt the pain that his mother could not bear, and he was pleased for her-even if she missed the right to raise the child, at least the child was still fine.
In the past, he relied on his mother. When the medicine was gone, he had to register. Yao Ce was the first to call Xu Min, "At that time she was your only support. Now you have to think about your parents. You can't do the same as before."
He rejected most of Xu Min's requests for leave to accompany him.
In order to save family expenses, Yao Ce could see that his mother was very pleased when introducing Guo Wei and seeing his grandchildren and grandchildren, "Then why not go over (over there)?" He didn't want to Because I am a patient, I tripped my parents.
Their concerns always remind him, "I am the object of sympathy and help."
One day in May, Yao Ce and Xu Min accepted a video interview with a media outlet. He finished the interview first, and then entered the room after eating. He saw his mother facing the camera and his emotions were ups and downs. The interview lasted for a few hours. Cuo, I don't understand why my mother started crying again.
Yao Ce lay down on the bed and persuaded him to talk about his illness in a calm and free manner, "...My parents had no choice before, right, I hope they can choose a happier path now." During the interview, he tried to convey this point to his mother.
But there are still many things he cannot ignore.
Yao Ce remembers one time when Xu Min talked about what to eat for cancer treatment. He and his mother were used to talking casually, and he responded directly as usual, "What's so delicious in this?" Unexpectedly, his father suddenly said, "Don't follow. Your mother lifted the bar." He was a little dazed. Dad had never said such a thing.
He started observing the expressions of his parents and wondering how to get along.
He tried to make me understand, "At home, there are things you did that suddenly make your mother unhappy, but you will still be the same as your mother and daughter the next day. Your relationship cannot be changed."
But he was a little different, it was a situation that most people could hardly empathize with.
At the end of the video interview, Xu Min had already cried and swollen eyes. His son seemed to be depicting a world after he left. "Actually, I think Yao Ce cannot be absent from the happiness of my life," she said.
Now, when mentioning the scene again, Xu Min also expressed the same meaning, "Let us choose what? Our choice is not to be together? Everyone is together?"
Her love still looks the same.
When she reads anti-cancer articles and successful cases of cancer treatment, she will send them to her son.
In the few days after meeting with her, when she mentioned Yao Ce, she recalled her son's rebelliousness and unsteadiness, "Guo Wei did a great job and never thought of changing jobs." At the same time, she also said that Yao Ce was in the ward today. I wonder if it changed
Walking on the road and seeing a family of three, she would be stunned from time to time. A young man came to the work unit. She thought that if my son was healthy, he would be so energetic.
Xu Min also noticed that her son's words are not as much as before. She thinks that his son is sensitive, and she also pays more attention to "misunderstanding each other." It has been half a year, and she feels that she can't get into her son's heart. She wants countless times. Explain in clear words, "You know everything about Mom and Dad, we won't change anything", but in the end, "Don't say it, we don't say it."
Towards the end of the interview, Xu Min asked me in a low voice, "Does he talk much with his parents in Henan?" She wanted to know if Yao Ce called them parents, "It should be easy, and family relationships should be established." Get up, right?"
They met and barely mentioned the other son, the other mother.
Yao Ce sometimes envied his children, whoever treats him well, he called his mother, simply.
After falling ill, Yao Ce spent more time with his son Kaikai. The child followed him by calling "Dad Dad". He often asked Kaikai, do you love Dad?
Yao Ce also understands that he has grown up and is no longer a child. Even if he has deep love, he won't ask his parents again.
Living in the aftermath of shock
Since childhood, Yao Ce has been evaluated by his relatives as a lovable child.
A family of children sat together during the holidays, and he spoke without teaching, "I wish my grandparents and grandpa are blessed in the East China Sea, and longevity!" When I went to school, I still kept talking whenever I spoke. The teacher specifically adjusted whether he liked to speak. His classmate sat at the same table with him, and after a semester, that classmate also became ridiculous.
He has always been the pistachio of those around him.
In the community, he will greet all the security guards enthusiastically; as long as he has the opportunity, he can always find inexplicable reasons to gather friends together.
After falling ill, Yao Ce seemed to be the most "pleasing" person in the family.
At first he knew that the operation could not be done, and his parents looked worried, but he laughed, "It will take a few months if you don't do it." After knowing the wrong change, the first time he sat at the dinner table with his parents, he used a joke. I opened my mouth, "We have lived together for so many decades, and today we discovered that you can pretend to be so capable in your heart."
Mother Du Xinzhi's deep impression on Yao Ce is that his son is very good at making arrangements.
Du Xinzhi looked at Yao Ce at first and felt like he was dreaming. This is my son?
She didn't know how to talk to him, "I always feel sorry for him."
She didn't dare to ask about Yao Ce's growing up story. She was afraid of stinging her son. She only knew from others that his performance was always good. She won the ranking in the national computer competition. Every time such a topic made her feel out of place.
She didn't understand how to pay to express her debt and love, so she had to rely on her mother's instinct to accompany her to see a doctor and buy things.
After getting along for a while, Yao Ce gave her peace of mind. He would say to Du Xinzhi, "Mom, you should take a break, Mom, you should go out for a while." In June, they went to Shanghai to accompany them, and Yao Ce took them to several scenic spots.
But Du Xinzhi saw the wound he was willing to arrange.
In late September, Yao Ce returned to his biological parents’ home in Henan. Time was tight. He ran 4 places in 5 days and said hello to relatives.
Du Xinzhi opened the quilt one morning to see if there was anything left. There was some blood on the sheets. She realized that it was Yao Ce's dressing change. In the wheelchair at the trial, Yao Ce sat halfway on his hip, still in pain. Torturing him.
Yao Ce never told Du Xinzhi about pain and worry.
Like a black hole, close the door and immerse yourself in the game world.
Compared with what most people see, it is happy and free and easy. More often, Yao Ce just does his best to promote, maintain, and balance. Between family and family, between family and public opinion, learn how to shake In the aftermath of life.
During the treatment in Shanghai in May, Yao Ce called out "Dad" when the family lived together. The three turned around, Dad Guo, Dad Yao, and father-in-law. Later, Yao Ce would call his wife into the room and let her call alone.
For his biological father, Yao Ce was very polite at first. Even if he doesn't like eating, he should put it in his mouth as much as possible.
These days in Hangzhou for treatment, parents from Henan came to accompany him. Yao Ce only said that he would eat one steamed bun, while Dad Guo wanted to buy four. “I only want to eat a bite of noodles. He will serve me at least two dishes.” He was dumbfounded and understood. , Dad may want to make up for the missed time too much.
Yao Ce, his mother Du Xinzhi, and his father Guo Xikuan.
Photo courtesy of respondents
Under the spotlight, their every move will be magnified. The gifts for birthday parties and the blessings for Mother's Day are all the same.
At every festival and gathering, Yao Ce wants to talk about it, book a hotel, find a restaurant, to bridge the 28-year distance with a few families that did not overlap, and to explain all the eyes focused on them.
He knows that this is not his own confusion, "Whether my parents on both sides or my brother, I believe they will often ask themselves what to do."
Xu Min showed me the photos taken during the meeting of the two families on National Day. She was sitting in the middle, wearing a floral dress, Yao Ce and Guo Wei were holding her hands on both sides, "Look, Dabao Erbao", her eyes gleamed.
Xu Min fantasizes about the future life, which is beautiful-two sons live on two floors and three grandchildren live together; lost-"my Yao Ce, in case there is something... Our husband and wife will not force others to do it. What, Guo Wei has lived there for so many years. He has classmates and colleagues, father-in-law and mother-in-law, and his parents will not care about him... Then we don’t have anything?" She sighed and said, what we lived in the past is life. Up."
Du Xinzhi could not imagine the future of old age. Thinking of Yao Ce's illness, she was a little afraid of living.
She didn't want to think, which is home?
"I don't know where to stop," Du Xinzhi said.
She had been accompanying Yao Ce for a long time, and she was also worried that Guo Wei would think too much. She always wanted to tell him that her brother is sick now and hoped that he would understand, but she finally did not say anything like this.
On National Day, Guo Wei and Xu Min and his wife met in Jiujiang. Du Xinzhi saw their group photo on the Internet. On the ship, Guo Wei was smiling and standing behind Xu Min, who was holding his grandson.
Although knowing this, Du Xinzhi still snorted in her heart. She sent a WeChat message to her son, "I always say that your happiness is my happiness. It is very easy to say, how can I look at you happy today, but not happy? Get up, I don’t know what's going on."
Happiness is a kind of betrayal. Mothers feel that even if they are happy around a child, they will miss it. Is there any news for the child over there?
Most of them have not directly talked about the more complicated reality, property, grandson's surname, where they will live in the future, and the different habits of the two places. These ideas involve more people and more families, and they are all hidden in their hearts.
Home in the whirlpool of public opinion
Those who beat their already fragile nerves are also the Internet comments that flood into the family.
Yao Ce remembers that several times, his mother Xu Min came to him, talked directly with netizens on his mobile phone, and sent a string of messages to him. He explained, and then explained, his mother didn't mean to listen.
On October 29th, Xu Min sat opposite me and talked about the offensive remarks made by netizens. There was almost no gap between the words.
For example, netizens said that Xu's mother recognized her own son, regardless of whether she was adopted.
Those who scolded her claimed to be fans of Yao Ce.
Later, another group of people scolded Yao Ce, "Your mother was wronged, why didn't you say it?" After that, I don't know which wave of people commented that the person who scolded Yao Ce was instructed by her.
She excitedly listed the names of several netizens who abused her, thinking that her son had a close relationship with them, based on the fact that they had photos of Yao Ce, and kept updating Yao Ce's dynamics.
She expects her son to stop such verbal violence, after all, he has always been a voice speaker.
She asked again and again, "If you make it clear, nothing will happen?"
But Yao Ce was confused about this, he didn't know those netizens.
In his understanding, the response will only escalate the scolding war, which is beyond his control.
Although they are worried about each other, the relationship between him and his mother remains unchanged.
Before meeting Xu Min, he told me, "Persuade my mother to watch the internet less." He thought that was the only way out.
He was treated in Shanghai in October, and my mother stayed by her side for two days. One day at two or three in the morning, she kept holding him and asking who was who.
"I'm still in pain and lost my temper. I said that or I should die?" Another time, with the same reproach, he cried anxiously. He felt painful and didn't understand why his mother could not trust him.
In Xu Min's heart, the silence of her son chilled her, "I wish to beg them." She was immersed in disappointment, "If someone abused your parents so much, would you be silent?"
She took out her mobile phone. There were a few "very trustworthy" netizens in the WeChat friends list. They helped Yao Ce in the past, so she trusted them. Even if she didn't touch the platform, they would send her unclear comments. Give her an idea, "very enthusiastic," she described.
Xu Min is 52 years old and likes to wear brightly colored clothes with braids. He walks lightly and speaks quickly.
After working in the office for so many years, there is almost nothing she can't do.
When her son was looking for an expert and liver source, she used all her strength.
Now, just after falling into the new world of the Internet, she only showed a little aging.
After being disappointed with the child many times, a netizen sent her son’s Douyin photo taken in June with the caption "If I don’t have enough time in this life to repay, I would like to become a stone bridge in the next life and endure 500 years of Feng Shui. In the rain, I just beg you to walk across the bridge." Although she had seen it a long time ago, she cried several times.
Because of these things, she had already cried too much. The ophthalmologist told her to shed less tears. Seeing someone scolded Xu’s mother for crying, she made up her mind not to cry again.
Many nights, Xu Min had difficulty falling asleep, so she went to sit on the balcony, and her husband smoked more fiercely.
Until a few days ago, Yao Ce's son was not taken, Xu Min put his arms to sleep at night, and the child's quiet breathing made her feel at ease.
Kaikai lay on the bed and turned around like a clock, and she also followed.
She thought that when Yao Ce was a child, Kaikai and Yao Ce looked too alike, with shallow eyebrows, just as mischievous.
In childhood, Yao Ce slept, "holding mother's arm tightly." She told him a story, and later in the kindergarten class, his son had a separate room, he grabbed a sweater every day to sleep, because he could smell his mother's smell .
When she grows up, the child depends on her, and she gradually depends on the child.
Even now, after knowing his son’s life and encountering many things, Xu Min would still subconsciously ask Yao Ce for help. I don’t know where to deal with credit card overdrafts, driving on a one-way street, being stopped by traffic police, and what is the member account number for chasing drama. , When in distress, she still wanted to talk to Yao Ce.
Only when she encountered troubles she could solve, she seldom told her son that she had a nodule on her head and needed a minor operation. She didn’t let Yao Ce know, "We don’t like to trouble children." She said softly.
She couldn't solve the network attack.
Yao Ce was worried that his mother would be backlashed by public opinion. He felt tired and yearned for one day to fade out. “Let’s live his life behind closed doors.” He thought, perhaps by then public opinion would dissipate.
Most of his memories are moments that are out of the spotlight.
On June 16, after the birthday party for the media, Yao Ce celebrated his own birthday in a not-so-spacious rental house.
Two pairs of parents bought stewed vegetables and cakes. He couldn't eat two bites, but he was very satisfied.
He always remembers that day.
Race against time
On November 4, Yao Ce stared at the screen of his mobile phone in the hospital bed of Hangzhou Shulan Hospital. In the game, he ran forward on the wasteland, changing equipment one after another.
Putting down the phone, he told his friends who were playing together that he was busy first.
He is going to sleep for a while.
In the game, he temporarily avoided those troubles, and no one knew that he was a cancer patient.
There are many moments that make him forget that he is a patient.
Netizens everywhere added him to WeChat, and some regarded him as a tree hole and talked about their experiences. He responded and explained one by one; walking down the street, he saw the grandfather and old lady walking with hands, he would glance at his wife," Wife, we will do the same in the future." When going down the stairs with his son, Yao Ce shouted "Flying" and lifted the child's hand with his wife. Kaikai liked this most.
Yao Ce's son likes to be funny like him.
Photo courtesy of respondents
In Jiujiang in August, Kaikai went to kindergarten for the first time. Yao Ce saw him in secretly at the door. His son suddenly turned his head as if he found that his parents were missing. Tears were rolling in his eyes and he didn't dare to cry. , Everything goes well in the kindergarten.
The son gave Yao Ce the greatest joy during his illness.
In the past, Yao Ce has always believed that "a child has no memory before the age of 3."
Later, when he changed his medicine at home, he "screamed in pain" and the baby would come and hug his neck. Now he is 3 years old. Yao Cedo hopes that he can forget this.
Yao Ce feels that death itself is not terrible.
When he was studying in medical school, Yao Ce was doing an internship in neurosurgery. A 15-year-old girl got into a car accident in a taxi and left after being rescued. It was the first time he saw life disappear before his eyes and realized the fragility of life. .
At that time, there were many unconscious patients lying in the ICU where he managed the bed, eating and drinking Lazars on the bed, and the family members video every day, but no reaction was seen. They depended on drugs to maintain their lives; he had seen chemotherapy patients, teeth and hair It's gone, and the skin becomes carbon black.
Yao Ce said that if one day comes to the end, he doesn't want to leave in such embarrassment.
What really frightens him is the unfinished words that may be possible with the one he loves, and the life that is too late to complete together.
Yao Ce and his wife and son.
Photo courtesy of respondents
Occasionally, Yao Ce will miss his dead grandpa.
It was the early morning of a year ago. When he received the news that the outside justice was rescuing, Yao Ce was on a business trip. He originally promised his grandpa to take him out this time.
Yao Ce bought the earliest ticket and rushed to the hospital bed. "My grandfather's hand is still stretched out and he can't break it off. He wants to hold something and his mouth is not closed."
In the following week, Yao Ce had a dream every night, and his grandfather had a lot to say to him.
After falling ill, Yao Ce joked with his mother, "I know what this means now. He told me to come and accompany him."
After knowing his life, Yao Ce once drove to the grave of his grandfather.
On the tombstone is a photo of his grandfather, which Yao Ce took of him in the park.
Standing in front of the plum blossom branch, grandpa smiled kindly.
Yao Ce is here to confide in many things that cannot be said.
Yao Cehui thought that the appearance of his brother might be a kind of guidance and continuation.
On TV in June, he and his brother were interviewed together. The host asked about the topic little by little. When talking about the future of his parents, Guo Wei took the words, "I will work harder", he patted Yao Ce on the back.
Yao Ce felt relieved. In the past, for fear of causing panic and sadness, he never told his brother about supporting his parents in the future.
Yao Ce said that he is racing against time.
In September, he went to Luoyang, Henan, and met his grandma who brought him up.
He trimmed his hair and shaved his beard. Grandma was 87 years old, and she was so excited that she kept holding Yao Ce's hand. He wanted to sleep with his arms around him at night, because Yao Ce didn't agree to change the dressing, so her grandma fell into a low position.
He said to his grandmother: "There is still a chance! I'm not here anymore, we will come next time!" Yao Ce shouted loudly when his grandmother heard him.
Throughout the process, he remained calm until the car left Luoyang on the high speed, and tears burst out of his eyes.
Now, Yao Ce has started a new stage of treatment.
Cancer cells that have spread to the lungs and ribs are still spreading, and the tumor thrombus caused by portal hypertension is like a time bomb, making the hope of liver transplantation slim.
On November 6, the doctor replaced him with a new targeted drug, supplementary drugs, and examinations, and the total cost of at least 50,000 yuan a month.
Netizens' fundraising allowed him to continue to support him. Yao Ce could only take care of his eyes and survive every pain.
The lawsuit with the Huaihe Hospital of Henan University has not yet been decided. The hospital’s recent mediation opinion to the court is that the compensation should not exceed 600,000 yuan. This disappointed Yao Ce. He wrote a letter to the hospital, “I hope to get it in his lifetime. An answer...a fair ruling..."
His son Kaikai may not have a memory, but Yao Ce remembers many details about his children. His son likes to make cute tongue curling sounds, he has his own weird movements on his hands, and he touches his head.
Yao Ce is a little anxious, why doesn't Kaikai grow up yet?
Kaikai was naughty. At first, Yao Ce hugged him. He suddenly kicked him. Yao Ce felt relieved. "Naughty can also be understood as being tenacious. I feel more at ease."
During Yao Ce's illness, his son was by his side.
Photo courtesy of respondents
Du Xinzhi still didn't understand her son's heart, but she was more certain because she saw Yao Ce's determination to live.
She remembered that someone sent a malicious WeChat message to Yao Ce, why didn't you go to see God?
Yao Ce replied: God will not accept me because I still have things to do.