THE SEX QUESTION - I have vaginal dryness during sex, what should I do?

In the program Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1, sexologist and psychiatrist Catherine Blanc answers the question of a listener who suffers from vaginal dryness at the time of intercourse.

The latter, however, claims to be always excited by her companion and not to be menopausal. 

Corinne's question

"I'm 42 years old and I feel like I've been less lubricated lately during sex. Yet I'm still turned on by my partner and not at all menopausal. How is that possible and what to do? "

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Catherine Blanc's response

"You already have to understand what lubrication is. When a woman is aroused, her vagina will be loaded, as a penis would be at the time of an erection, mainly with blood. It makes a transudation at the level of the small vessels which generates this lubrication settling in the vagina. But anyway, a vagina is never dry. It is a mucous membrane, it is always lubricated. Then there are two other factors. If I am not aroused, it There is less blood flow and therefore less lubrication work.If I am postmenopausal, the wall thins, resulting in less transudation and lubrication.

For Corinne, this does not seem to be the case ...

I think we need to review the notion of excitement.

Maybe she is excited if you touch and stimulate her, but there are resentments, small disputes or small disappointments about the other in the couple that come a little confusing what mechanically could work , but that doesn't work from a psychic and fantasy point of view.

Or, she is in a period of pre-menopause.

There are menopause that start very early.

Some women go through menopause at 35 and others at 55.

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Should you use lubricants?

First, you have to check that at the physiological level everything is fine.

Then, we can actually use lubricants that make sex enjoyable.

Because if it is not, it will consequently make lubrication more and more difficult, because it will be unconsciously in fear, with a risk of pain.

Lubricants can therefore be a good thing.

But it is necessary that the use of lubricants remains joyful, fun, or very intimate, that is to say, done on its own before going into the bedroom.

In this way, having recourse to it will not be experienced as a priesthood and will not engender a guilt which would encumber the relationship.

What can be done so that she does not feel guilty?

Often times when men have erection problems, women play nurses.

They are rather tender and reassuring for men.

Of course, this is not always the case.

With men, there is an obligation to be horny and to cum, otherwise they have to question their competence and that often does not suit them.

Let's be a little gentler to each other.

There can also be iatrogenic reasons, because of drugs.

This can be the case with some treatments that have the virtue of drying out, such as those for acne.

With this type of treatment, you can suddenly have pain in the eyes because the lenses stick ... But also an impact at the vaginal level.

We must therefore eliminate the iatrogenic reasons, the question of a pre-menopause, then wonder about the real quality of the relationship and the amorous and erotic games to finally be able to say to ourselves' we're having fun, there are freezes. and we love each other very much. "