Tuesday in "Without appointment", the sexologist Catherine Blanc responds to a listener who, after 8 years of relationship, is emancipated by her breakup.

New look, daily evenings, rejection of the couple ... What does this radical change mean for Claudia? 

After a long relationship, some people need a radical change of life.

This is the case of Claudia who, after spending 8 years with her partner, completely changed her life following their breakup.

Tuesday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc explains in "Sans Rendez-vous" that this attitude, if it can be saving, often betrays an unbalanced relationship and thus represents an attempt to reinvent itself. 

Claudia's question

I lived 8 years with a boy and since I separated from him I live again, I changed my look, I cut my hair, I go out almost every night and I got closer to my friends .

Today I feel absolutely no desire to ask myself, is this normal? 

Catherine Blanc's response 

This attitude indicates the type of bond Claudia had made in her relationship.

What is it that, when I am with a man, I deny all that can represent what I am, what I want to be?

We start from our parents to build a life which should be our life.

It is as if suddenly Claudia has entered a framework of obedience again, with one mode of operation.

As soon as she leaves him, she begins to do the opposite.

Claudia may think that our space of freedom disappears when we are in a relationship, that we are then in the constraint of one submission to another, that we must do everything to please the other.

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Men can do these kinds of things too, needing a radical change after a breakup.

But we're still the same person with short or long, straight or curly hair.

The idea of ​​a new self-image is above all a boost that we give ourselves to see ourselves differently.

I find this question interesting because when people change like that at all, it means they change depending on who they are, or who they want to go to.

It is a lack of self-confidence that makes you look for a new idea of ​​yourself in an exterior, because you have trouble embodying yourself.

The fact that Claudia now goes out every night shows, for example, that she was suffocating in her previous relationship.

However, this cannot last forever.

For the moment, she is taking the loose, she makes the wall like a teenager… But at some point it will have to calm down!

The sweetness of life with the other is not necessarily a confinement, a prison.

But it is obviously something of the same order for Claudia.

Which raises the question of his relationships with others, his romantic relationships, the relationships that his parents had with each other.

She says she is living again, that means that she was not living with her companion and it is quite worrying.

You have to heal your wounds by taking the time.

But it is not by running right and left that you get there.

You also have to know how to take a step back from others, from your environment and grow yourself.

Whether or not you are a couple does not matter, but you have to be able to land internally to be safe.