THE SEX QUESTION - How can you tell your partner that intercourse is taking too long?

Is there a good length of sex?

In the program "Sans Rendez-vous", the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to Margaux, a listener from Europe 1 who finds that "sex with [her] boyfriend is really very long", who pretends to cum to get it over with faster and wonders if she can "tell him during the act [that she] doesn't have more pleasure than that".

Catherine Blanc gives him some answers.

Catherine Blanc's response 

"Men are convinced that it takes a long time for women to come several times and that is how they can measure the power of their manhood. It is important to hear that some moments are too long, not because it is not absolutely good, or not well done, but because you have to be available to take pleasure and still have it. To the extent that he struggles to come, it becomes complicated to be confronted with his personal disappointment and the passing of time only amplifies things.

>> Find all sexo questions in replay and podcast here

This complicates everything: because I am not at ease, I am disappointed with myself, I cannot come.

So it lasts a long time and it puts me even more in difficulty.

I'm not going to lubricate myself naturally anymore, so it will eventually become uncomfortable or even painful.

So at this time, women will often start to let think of an ultimate pleasure so that the other one says "she is thoroughly", in order to finish it.

It's tricky because women don't want to hurt men.

"Too long", what does that mean?

It might be too long after three minutes, it's long if it's uncomfortable.

We have defined too short, or too long, from the point of view of female pleasure.

Otherwise from the point of view of fertilization, the faster there is ejaculation and when the penetration is for reproduction, there is not a history of duration.

Nowadays, we seek to establish relationships of quality and equity, we ask the question of female pleasure.

If it is too short she does not have time to come and if it is too long she may be suffering from too long a relationship.

So it's difficult to define the right time, because from one woman to another the pleasure does not come in the same way.

Sexuality, considering that it starts with foreplay and lots of possibilities for orgasm, can be too long after two minutes of penetration, especially if the woman has already enjoyed.

Penetration may not be the place of his pleasure, insofar as women use simulation and men ejaculate them.

In a way, what holds the man back is the desire to please.

To say it in a rather positive way: "It's good I already enjoyed".

If she wants to use artifice she can, but that allows him not to lock himself in the simulation and the idea that he does not know where the woman is.

It is better to tell him that the pleasure is already there and that he can enjoy quietly. "