In the program Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1, the sex therapist Catherine Blanc answers a listener who does not understand why she is not sensitive to all the caresses of her companion.
The latter feels a frantic need to stimulate her nipples, something that leaves her unmoved.
We are not always sensitive to all the caresses of our partners.
In the program Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1, Catherine Blanc, sexologist and psychiatrist, answers the question of a listener who says she is very satisfied with her sex life with her partner but who is surprised not to feel anything when this last caresses her nipples.
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Inès' question
"My boyfriend is great in bed. Sexually, I can tell I am fulfilled, but I noticed that I felt absolutely nothing when he stimulated my nipples. I asked him several times to stop, but j I'm afraid it upsets him. Am I normal? "
Catherine Blanc's response
Our desires and desires are unique to us.
As soon as we place ourselves in a couple relationship, everyone must be able to communicate and verbalize.
Inès does not have to force herself and communication must take precedence in order to open the field of possibilities during sex.
Do we all have the same erogenous zones?
Absolutely not.
And even if all the areas of our body are erogenous, we do not have the same investment in these areas.
Stroking, nibbling, kissing… We don't do the same.
We have the freedom to like certain caresses, certain stimuli, and not others.
Inès must be able to describe her desires, what she likes or not.
She may want to keep her breasts untouched at all, or she may want to point her partner to the side of the breast and not the nipple.
Why does her partner keep focusing on her nipples?
Where the problem thickens is that the man too can have an excitement to touch, to stimulate particularly these areas of the body of his partner.
We make gestures that are not only intended for the other but also for our desires and our excitement.
He can expect something from his partner when he touches her breasts.
Therefore, even if Inès' breasts do not react, the fact of feeling that her nipples her source of excitement for her partner may be enough to please her.
It is important to open your imagination to others because it allows you to consider other things.
Is Inès' fear of offending her companion justified?
A woman should not be afraid to say "no", she is not null because she does not feel capable of receiving everything.
Women can say their limits because these do not remove the members of the couple, on the contrary they open the field of meetings.
Admittedly, a simple "No" is quite castrating because it refers to the other its incompetence, that is why more communication is needed, without falling into authoritarianism.