Laure Adler -

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  • In 

    La Voyageuse de nuit,

    which has just been released in bookstores, host and essayist Laure Adler criticizes the treatment inflicted on our elders, while in other countries, they are valued and appear wise.

  • Despite this dark observation, aging can also appear to be a privilege, according to the author.

  • Knowing how to age is also an art, which we can cultivate, according to her, thanks to a form of jubilant detachment and small daily joys.

Everyone will be there, but no one wants to hear about it.

Old age is a subject that is overlooked in France and the elderly are invisible and even stigmatized.

This is the observation of the host and essayist Laure Adler in 

La Voyageuse de nuit,

which has just been released in bookstores.

While more than 15 million French people are over 60 years old, "we live in a country of old people who will get older and older and we pretend not to notice it", she denounces.

But in addition to this bitter state of affairs, she also describes the way in which some seniors get an even more intense taste for life from their experience.

A deep analysis that she delivers to

 20 Minutes.

According to you, "getting older has become bad luck" in the eyes of society.

Has that always been the case, or has the outlook on old age hardened in recent years?

The way we treat our old people has worsened over the past decades as we live in an age that glorifies youthism.

French society considers age a handicap: to be effective, you have to be young.

And as older people live longer and longer thanks to advances in medicine, they are seen as burdensome for families and for society.

They are more and more stigmatized whereas paradoxically, they are more and more numerous.

There is a form of unbearable degagism vis-à-vis old people in France.

Why does our French society abuse its seniors when they are valued in African and Asian societies?

Our country is governed above all by economic rules.

And the old are considered economically unnecessary.

Even though they form the fabric of volunteering, they constitute the bulk of the caregiver battalion.

They are at the heart of the city.

They are not withdrawn, although retired.

This treatment of our elders can also be explained probably because the fear of our own finitude is intense among us.

In African and Asian societies, the notion of transmission is valued more.

The old man is the holder of knowledge, he is also the sage and receives signs of distinction.

Japan, the countries of Northern Europe, Switzerland, Italy, Spain also have a beautiful look at the ancients.

You highlight the discrimination in hiring that affects the French from 45 years old.

Do you think that companies will have to review their software, especially as the various reforms are pushing back the retirement age?

These discriminations are totally absurd.

Because many seniors are at the peak of their skills and have acquired experience that they can pass on to the youngest.

There is a political, economic and psychological need to be able to integrate them or reintegrate them into companies.

Nicolas Sarkozy was one of those who understood that the old ones could bring more because he had authorized retirees to continue working.

He set the tone for a movement that may gain momentum in the years to come.

Aging women pay a higher price than men, why?

They first touch smaller pensions because they have had interrupted careers.

They are also more susceptible to the dictates of appearance, are considered outdated and ostracized from desire, while many of them are still beautiful.

They no longer have the right to be watched.

Especially since in recent years, social networks have imposed the model of the bimbo woman of 20 years, supposed to represent the ideal beauty.

Youth is an injunction and the shapely and conformist bodies reflect the most hackneyed canons of virility.

Aging women experience this daily violence.

You write “physical love is much more effective than all facelifts”.

But sex in old age still seems taboo in our country.

Why ?

In France, we are very cautious on the subject in comparison with other countries of Northern Europe for example, where we “have the right” to fall in love and make old love.

This is explained by the archaism of our representations, as evidenced by the expression “lustful old man”.

As if all the old people were lewd.

And older women with sexuality are referred to the medieval fantasy of the witch devoured by her sex.

And even if senior dating sites have flourished in recent years, people who meet there do not dare to talk to those around them.

They fear being condemned by their children who want to lock them in the image of grandma or grandpa cake.

Will the elderly collectively rebel in the face of these shelters?

They constitute a silent force which for the moment is not manifesting itself, but the movement is in the process of being reversed.

Because society has reached a tipping point and will be forced to change gear.

We are collectively no longer ready to support intolerance, communitarianism, whether of social class or generational.

It is also from young people that the revolution in the integration of different generations will come.

Because they are not ready to accept that their elders are ostracized from society.

As proof: during confinement when the elders were very isolated, the young people came to their aid, did their shopping.

And they got some happiness out of it.

You write “age is a feeling not a reality” Do you think we all feel like 10 years younger?

Yes we are all 10 or 15 years younger, because our parents did not look like us at our age.

Because medicine has made progress, we play sports, we eat better.

As we feel good and not in the skin of an old cacochyme granny, we dress as before, we have a form of flamboyance.

We do not want to give the impression of old decatis.

And we promise our children to be independent so as not to make them bear the weight of our old age.

Age doesn't have to mean being serious or boring.

We don't want to be confined to a closet in which we are reduced to reading stories to our grandchildren at night.

We want to travel, to experience pleasure, to educate ourselves, to see friends.

And more and more seniors are graduating because they want to enjoy what they can do and want to live.

Is the fact of not accepting your age still a factor of suffering?

To fight obstinately against old age is a battle lost in advance.

Moreover, the fashion for cosmetic surgery is losing ground.

Playing sports and taking care of others are the best medicines for aging well.

When you accept your age, you tell yourself that getting older is probably a chance.

Because it's a privilege to experience things that your deceased friends will never be able to experience.

In your opinion, age can also reinforce the joy of living, how?

We spend our lives wondering how we are perceived by others and if we are getting right on track.

However, as we age, we are less obsessed with social appearances.

The people we have desperately loved and who do not return it to us, we linger more.

We go more to people with whom there will be reciprocity.

We are less in illusions.

What do we get rid of when we get older?

When you reach a certain age the days are numbered.

We tend to read the past more sympathetically.

A sort of inner peace takes place.

We know more and more what is important to us and we move more towards it.

I am happy to walk in nature and to listen to music for example and I make sure to devote myself more to its activities.

Maybe the happiness is more intense now because I found it to be normal before.

Now I consider it less obvious so I savor it more.

You paint a portrait of personalities who have aged well such as Stéphane Essel, Agnès Varda….

What was their common point?

The desire to live.

They all went through great suffering, they were very courageous.

It forged their character and they went their own way, choosing the joy of life, making fun of what others thought of them.

Society

"The most precarious are not the government's priority," said Najat Vallaud-Belkacem

Podcast

PODCAST.

How to age less quickly?

*

The Night Traveler, Pa

Laure Adler, Grasset, 19 euros.

  • Society

  • Books

  • Youth

  • Discrimination

  • Old age