It's here, it's here,
MasterChef Celebrity 5
to your TV.
Now try to say it 10 times, but very quickly.
They are the effects of the more than four hours of premiere, of having slept between nothing and less, of having laughed until I got stomach pains, of having run out of shadow sticks after seeing the new edition of
When I manage to lift my eyelids (there is no one on RTVE aware that ending the programs after 02.00 in the morning is a sin!) I will say and I will say it very loudly that a premiere piece and a program piece!
, a lot, and it has not disappointed, that they tell
Can you imagine what it is like to have characters like
La Terremoto de Alcorcón
(at his feet),
(cloth, cloth, cloth),
(the great discovery of the night, a total star),
(if he sings one more aria, did he rip my hair out)?
No, it is impossible to imagine if you do not see it and if there was no
MasterChef Celebrity 5
The program was so bad that not even the best scriptwriters in the world would achieve what
did last night
It is clear that the pandemic has managed to make the programs put the batteries or, at least, want to give much more.
It is no longer just because of the casting, which is blessed glory, but because of what went through the screen.
And what is?
Well, want to entertain, but in style, throwing the house out the window.
And, above all, wanting to convey a good mood and good vibes, which we now really need.
Yes, the four-hour program is to kill RTVE slowly, but it was four hours in which
the TV gave something very valuable: forgetting
Yes, it all started with a very good roll, in the Chamberí market and with
Cayetana Guillén Cuervo
trying to take the place of the judges and warning of what could come.
The new applicants arrived there, 16
who repeated ad nauseam the great challenge and the great opportunity that being in
meant for them
And it is that this year things are about challenges and fears.
Are the judges so scared?
Well, it must be so, although there were fears that made my ass tighter than them.
The encounter between Jesús Castro and Jordi Cruz
The dynamics of the program is the same as always.
Cranky and enthusiastic applicants and judges who give one of lime and another of sand (who they want, of course).
Because, how could it be otherwise,
, quickly found the candidate to put a cane and find tension.
Jesús Castro's turn
and they later caused the actor to deflate and disappear from the map.
Why, my God, why?
The casting can be divided into four groups: those who have gone to have fun and have fun;
those who have gone to remove fears and change their image;
those who have gone to win and seem to be serious;
the bad guys
, the quinquis, the easy-to-shoot ones.
The latter were well marked from the beginning and could not have been other than
Of course, with a difference,
you can warm
that he is so transparent that he peels everything and everyone (if he has to go to charge in full test, then he leaves and period), and Jesús Castro, who does not des palms that is known.
clapped his hands, gave him the first "stone" of the night, the first host with an open hand.
In the first test of the night they had to clean a tuna and prepare a free dish in 60 minutes.
It seems easy, but in
there is nothing easy.
So they made it difficult for them to differentiate between those who would first take the succulent meat of the sea pig and those who would have to wait to see what their companions would leave them.
So far, so good.
They began to cook, some to sing, others to mist themselves so as not to become a freak (
is the most), others to do that they did not know how to cook, and then put it folded and another to do what they could.
And the most feared moment arrived, the moment of tasting.
The judges, who were so far soft and relaxed, drew their weapons.
Milks, that was the first test!
Few were saved from criticism, but there were those who received a whip;
who were placed between cotton wool
and then there were those who took the blows.
presented their dishes together and then Khan's anger erupted.
I still don't really know why
went for Jesús Castro without half measures.
Actually, I do.
Of all the applicants, it was clear that Jesús Castro was going to be the only one to enter the rag.
And boy did he enter!
It turns out that during cooking, Jesús Castro threw some extra pieces of the bonito into the trash.
Obviously, the jury was not amused and, obviously, Jordi Cruz reproached him during the tasting.
Jesús Castro did not agree with the fact that he threw what he shouldn't have and the tension between judge and candidate could be cut.
You, my friend, what are you looking for here?
Learn, I can give it to you. And discuss with me?", Jordi Cruz launched.
Jesus Castro's answer is given in the street and not on a set and it is moved safely.
"And you with me?".
"But what do you want to learn? Well, you learn with the truth. Give and take, give and take, which of course Jordi Cruz won.
" Your two dishes are a stone "
, and that's it. The first of the night, and the unique.
After the first "stone" of the night, the program was not the same for the actor.
He lost his steam and followed
not to enter the rag.
And how can one not enter the rag?
And up to here I can read.
It gives me that the act of containment of
will last the same as a candy at the door of a school.
But while they gave one to others they put cotton clouds on them so that they would step on soft.
It is what you have when you have been a minister.
Anyone who says they didn't want to see
MasterChef Celebrity 5 is
She is the prime minister who attends an entertainment program and reinvents herself in what we could never imagine.
Or maybe it's that MasterChef's kitchens aren't that different from a morning in Congress.
The fact is that
was in the costume of an ex-politician disenchanted with politics, worth the redundancy, that she seeks new horizons and that she wants a program like
allow viewers, that is, the Spanish, to see beyond the politics.
"I have taken so many hosts in my life," said the former minister.
And, be careful, I'm not saying no, that
has even been given his identity card, but it seemed that instead of having been a minister, a deputy, etc.
For more than 30 years, she had been sentenced to life imprisonment and doing forced labor.
The tears of Celia Villalobos
The fact is that the role of
was that of 'I want people to see the person, not the politics' and with that and the phrase that she was very afraid softened the hearts of the judges, who instead of Thursday they became the new coach of
In the first test, the former minister prepared a marmitako and a nice "fraud" (Pablo Casado must have hit the wall), which was highly valued by the judges, despite the fact that the "fraud" looked like be, effectively, a fraud.
They threw the talk of you can, take off your fears, you've come to enjoy ... And what happened?
cried for the first time in her life.
"I never cried and the judges have made me cry and let everyone see it," he said.
Seriously, you've never cried?
And a milk.
If it is true how bad it was as an active politician, I do not believe that her first tears were those of last night.
, the spoiled child of the judges, was transformed.
The role of 'I'm afraid' did not last long, the candy at the school door did not last long.
, the man we would all like as a husband, took the cat into the water and won the first test, in which
(the one who did not know how to cook ha, ha, ha!) Was second.
The first two captains of this edition in an outdoor test that moved to Jaén and in which the legs began to be seen under the door.
The captaincy of Nicolás Coronado was a disaster.
The goodness of the son of José Coronado is not made for these struggles and the test could with him.
The model and actor refused to scream and pull out his nails as requested by
, so everything got out of control.
Despite the fact that good vibes and colleagues reigned in their kitchens, this time, cooking in a good environment was not enough.
In fact, one of their dishes was directly inedible.
The pickled partridge that fell to the red team remained in the diners' plates.
, the first to leave the kitchens, burned the partridges, the marinade was a bad broth that did not taste like anything at all and that caused the second course of the red team to be better forgotten.
However, in the kitchens of the blue team, led by
, things were quite different.
Although the good vibes were little seen, the organization that
Gonzalo Miró did
and the mettle he showed gave victory to a team where the sparks jumped from minute one of cooking.
While Raquel Sánchez Silva, Laura Sánchez and Josie combined perfectly to make the fritters with cherry compote, alongside Celia Villalobos and Ainhoa Arteta had their pluses and minuses.
not Chista or God.
The push that the judges gave him in the previous test brought out the Celia Villalobos that
wanted to see,
from under my nose, Celia Villalobos from here I command and point ball.
There was no fear, but a lot of bad milk.
Twice Ainhoa Arteta approached, finishing up to the fig, to lend a hand with the air of vermouth and both times she went out feet first.
lost the desire to sing, and look how difficult it is.
She ended up ordering them to catch a fresh wind and as she herself admitted, if it wasn't because Gonzalo Miró calmed her down and acted as a guru of peace, things would have ended badly.
And it is that Celia is a lot of Celia.
"Celia, are you from the PP?"
Flo asked the former politician, becoming the new Ferreras.
"I am from a progressive PP," Villalobos replied.
"And are you more from Aznar or from Rajoy?", Continued the comedian.
"I am from the PP", he answered trying to avoid going further.
"But before you were Aznaristas. There was a moment when you stopped being Aznarista, right?" Flo continued to puncture.
"Well yes, when he started messing with Mariano," flies don't get into closed mouths.
"But he did name it", Flo, straight to
Al Rojo Vivo
"That's why. And I loyalty, for me, my son ...
T he Aznar names Mariano thinking that he is going to be behind in a little chair saying 'now over here, now over there ...'
. Without realizing it of something fundamental in politics and in almost everything: when you leave, do not pretend that the one who comes after you does what you wanted because that one is going to throw ashes on your steps. "
, who wanted to leave politics, but yes, but no.
The fact is that the winning team could not be other than blue.
Few knives flew
both in the judges 'ratings and in the aspirants' opinions.
You can tell, you feel, that the good vibes of the
... was present.
Nicolás Coronado got a good rap and his aunt, rebounding, too.
defended her nephew's captaincy tooth and nail (that's what the family is for) and, in the end, she too took the fight.
But little hairs to the sea.
Neither Ainhoa Arteta ended up sending them to hell
, nor did the blood reach the river.
Well, until the start of the elimination test.
Lucia Dominguín vs.
Although the hopefuls tried to keep up the good vibes, two tests later things started to get hot.
I don't really know why
got caught up with Lucía Dominguín and brought out all the bad temper she had warned about in the outdoor test.
The judges asked her again about her fears, they encouraged her again, they told her again to relax, to take out the
that we all wanted to see.
Again, the cotton rug, do not feel uncomfortable and take the ones from Villa Diego.
"Has your fear gone away?"
"No. When you stop being afraid and you think that everything is perfect ... as my friend Marta says 'shit her in technicolor with balconies facing the street'".
Well, very well, what her friend Marta says and what made
Lucía Dominguín say
"sstras, how fine she is, right?"
that felt like a kick in the stomach to the former minister.
Her friend Marta is not touched.
It's that I, Lucía, need a person like you to correct me
. My mother no longer has it, neither does my grandmother, so it's you," snapped
with that face of I'm holding on for not letting go of a snort and letting you lie down. you can't even imagine.
"Well, nothing, daughter, I'll send you my email and ...", Lucia Bosé replied trying to put some humor to the tension that was being breathed.
"No, I do not expect that we continue seeing each other and I leave here more educated, as my mother already said,
'It seems incredible that you have studied in a nuns' school'
Now if that you come back for another.
"Of nuns. The Jesuits", answered
And when it seemed that the thing was going to rise, Flo came out like a knight in white armor to save the moment: "You already give me the address of that school because I have not studied in any".
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee, but I will keep this for you, go if you are going to keep it.
I play a hand that the encounter between Lucía Bosé and Celia Villalobos is going to be the first many.
In the elimination test, the contestants of
MasterChef Celebrity 5
had to discover the names of the gourmet products that were hidden under a display case.
Those who got the most correct would get rid of the test.
And thank heaven
got rid of them and climbed onto the balcony.
I want a Terre in my life
I thought the phrase she made in her presentation was wonderful: "you have to laugh even at yourself."
If I had the courage to get a tattoo, I would write that phrase.
Although Jordi Cruz wants to see the Serious Terre, I think we all need La Terre that we saw last night.
Life needs many Terres
The rest had to face a test in which the eliminated was
It was the chronicle of a death foretold.
He said it himself: "People already know me for singing badly and now I want them to know me for cooking badly": Indeed,
was the weakest candidate of all and the elimination test could with him becoming the first expelled from
MasterChef Celebrity 5
No surprises, no disappointments, that for crying, fear and stones there are already others who point out ways.
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