THE SEXO QUESTION - What is the place of sex toys in the couple?

More and more design and always more technological, sex toys are designed to appeal to a growing number of consumers.

In "Sans Rendez-vous", the 

Hélène's question

"My boyfriend bought himself a vibrating ring to put on his penis. But I don't really like this kind of gadget. It troubles me and I find it amazing that he needs this to make love to me after four. years of relationship. I feel less wanted. What do you think? "

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Catherine Blanc's response

"There is no rule. There is the desire to discover things, to make discover things to the other. We do not have to make meetings before the purchase. I believe that that can be tempted. And then it does or it does not. Then the question is why do we do it? What is the personal research in this? The message to the other?

We must understand what is the meaning of this use.

Sexuality is a game. Regarding the fact that it is vibrating, we must understand that our sexual organs, the penis like the clitoris, have receptors that are particularly sensitive to vibrations.

In sexuality, we emit vibrations through contact.

There is more sensitivity than with caresses.

We can therefore understand that he wanted to awaken something from that point of view, which could also be a stimulus for her.

The fact that she does not adhere to it is surely because this use formalizes too much the fact of playing in sexuality and perhaps, precisely, she wishes it to be more in love, that there are things deep.

There, it brings a whole "society" into the room in a way, instead of being something akin to the testimony of a love and a desire for each other.

This is perhaps what explains why it is a little refractory.

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Didn't his companion try to please him?

This sex toy also vibrates on his penis.

But it is true that the ring being at the base of the penis, it is particularly on the female sex that it will act and in particular on the level of the clitoris and the entrance to the vagina in a way.

If she is resistant and if she does not feel wanted, it is precisely because she believes that he did it for him and not for her.

Hasn't she taken this subject too seriously?

The fact that it's played takes value and depth away from the feeling of the relationship.

This explains her confusion and she believes that he bought something for him, whereas it is for their sexuality and a fortiori for her, who would feel it much more.

She has the feeling that her partner is acting like this because their sexuality is flat and should be enhanced, as if it had nothing to be a source of excitement.

But it starts from a confusion: he would do it for him, while it is for their sexuality.

It's furiously lacking in communication.

Can a life be balanced without a sextoy?

We don't need a sextoy as we don't need to make love.

There is no need in the sense of a vital need.

Making love is a joy, a sharing, but it is not because we are in this joy and this sharing that we are obliged to enhance it systematically, as if we were going to be bored.

As if it always had to be different for it to be interesting!

Why can't we do with things as they are?

Why are we not trying to develop them?

And why, when we go looking for it elsewhere, do we have the feeling that it is denying what happened?

We can completely stay within the framework of the meeting of bodies, but we can also look elsewhere, without seeing there the denial of the relationship and its legitimacy. "