On the one hand are children who have not yet entered the kindergarten, on the other hand are tasks that must be completed with quality and quantity
How to solve the "double anxiety" of working mothers after returning to work and not returning to school?
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The epidemic broke out at the beginning of the year. While working with their children through the "long holiday", working mothers are also experiencing the torment and anxiety of returning to work and not returning to school. During the epidemic prevention and control period, how difficult is it for dual-income families with underage children, especially working mothers? Three working mothers shared their fatigue and worries, methods and expectations.
The pace of the epidemic did not stop suddenly in the summer of 2020. Recently, small-scale epidemics have been repeated in Dalian, Xinjiang and other places. On the one hand, there are children who have not yet entered the kindergarten, and on the other hand, work that needs to be completed with quality and quantity. When resuming work and not returning to school, many working mothers face the double pressure of work and childcare.
"Working in the company, you can take a lunch break without cooking. Home office not only requires work but also takes care of the children." Similar to Qian Yi, during home office and the "post-epidemic period", many working mothers turned on their computers to hold video conferences and receive The "new daily" of making business calls, training, and tutoring children online classes, cooking, and housework.
"As a last resort, I locked the child at home"
"Although when I left home in the morning, my son watched me with a smile, but my lover said that by noon, my son was crying and calling for his mother." Talking about the 3-and-a-half-year-old son, Zhang Ningning felt too much guilt and helplessness in his heart.
In mid-to-late July, with the cessation of the spread of the new epidemic and its related spread, Zhang Ningning, who worked in Beijing, switched from the second home "cloud office" mode to the work mode. The mother-in-law is over eighty years old, and she moves on a wheelchair; her husband works as a driver in a company and often has to go out to work. Who will take care of the 3-and-a-half-year-old child has stumped Zhang Ningning's family.
"As a last resort, I locked the child at home and told him to call for help when in danger." In order to go to work normally, the 44-year-old Zhang Ningning locked his son and mother-in-law at home and left the keys for neighbors as an emergency. When there is no work attendance, the husband will go home at noon and prepare lunch.
For many dual-income families with underage children like Zhang Ningning, how to take care of their children has become a "must answer" during the epidemic prevention and control period.
"Minor children cannot be completely separated from their parents, especially during the epidemic. They need the company and education of their parents." Qian Yi, a 41-year-old working mother, said that the elementary school his son was attending was originally ready to start school, but after the epidemic spread, the children must not be allowed. No longer staying at home, "cloud" school starts, "cloud" class.
In order to take care of his son, Qian Yi and her husband took turns to ask for leave from the unit, “trying to prevent the child from staying at home alone, even if there is one, it will only be a short time”.
Many dual-income families say that when their children reach the age of entering kindergarten and school, they are no longer willing to let the elderly who have worked for many years "hand in hand". The good life of "Mom and Dad go to work, I go to kindergarten" in the nursery rhyme has become vulnerable in the face of the sudden epidemic.
Install video surveillance at home, educate children not to open doors to strangers, and properly train their children’s ability to stay home alone... Many working mothers said that affected by the epidemic, young children can only stay home alone. Although they are not at ease, they are still working hard to train And cultivate children's ability to be alone and safety awareness.
It looks beautiful, but it hurts both sides
"Every day I switch between the three identities of employee, kindergarten teacher, and mother, and I feel like I am busy." Chen Binbin, 31, is engaged in administrative work in a financial company, and his son is 6 years old. Grandma and grandma take turns to Beijing to help. Look after.
"Even if there are people at home to help, work at home is not as beautiful as expected." When the epidemic situation was severe, Chen Binbin's family of 4 was crowded into a house with little space, and work, children, and housework became inevitable "hurdles". The noisy sound of children playing, the sound of cooking pots and pans, and the sound of family members calling on the phone all come one after another. In her opinion, the noisy environment at home is not suitable for office work.
In addition, studies have shown that telecommuting during the epidemic has brought people more meetings and longer working hours. "When you wake up, you have to turn on your computer to send and receive emails, and you have to answer the phone at 23:00 to communicate business." Many working mothers said that working from home weakens the boundary between life and work.
Working intensively and staying up late has become the choice of many working mothers. "When the child falls asleep, I have time to be alone, so I can concentrate on work." Qian Yi said that after his son went to elementary school, the mental fatigue of the parents far exceeded the physical fatigue. In addition to online classes prescribed by the school, children also need to learn programming and piano. Under the "cloud" learning, guidance and supervision are even more needed.
During home office work, there is a mutual influence between not-so-light work and children who need education. Qian Yi said, “For a while, I feel frustrated and anxious, and I feel that my work is not perfect and my children have not made significant progress.”
"Although I am tired and guilty for my children, work is still the most important thing." For Zhang Ningning, who had been a full-time mother for three years, it was not easy to return to the workplace. She cherished this job very much. "The company leaders also take good care of our family's situation and do not require me to be on duty every day. I am very grateful for this understanding."
Looking forward to more support
During the special period of epidemic prevention, how to care for underage children whose school start is delayed has attracted social attention. Beijing has made it clear that each family can have one employee at home to take care of their underage children. During the period, the wages and benefits will be paid by the company based on attendance. Shandong Zibo also proposes that units and enterprises should not terminate their labor contracts with their employees while they are taking care of their underage children at home.
The reporter learned during the interview that some companies have introduced more flexible management measures for employees who need to take care of their underage children, such as shifting to and from get off work, arranging home office work, and encouraging preferential use of annual leave for home care. However, in real life, the main force of caring for children is still working mothers.
Where did my dad go? Chen Binbin said that although the father of the child will also participate in childcare, but the investment is not as much as the mother, "the social environment has not changed significantly." Some voices said that just relying on family consultations and requiring workplace fathers to participate in childcare may not have obvious effects, and multiple parties need to coordinate actions.
Zhang Dandan, an associate professor appointed by the Dean of the National Development Research Institute of Peking University, suggested adding a long-term mechanism to reduce the pressure on working mothers, especially for low-income families and unemployed families. The government can gradually adopt social security measures such as tax cuts and transfer payments. Working mothers with stressful children are inclined.
In addition, childcare institutions have not yet returned to care and insufficient supply is also a common problem reported by working mothers. Before the epidemic, Zhang Ningning considered organizing small childcare institutions to take care of family and career, but the sudden outbreak of the epidemic disrupted her thoughts. Faced with the multiple-choice question of "Take care of children or go to work", Zhang Ningning and many working mothers realized the importance of childcare institutions.
During the outbreak of the epidemic in Beijing Xinfadi, Chen Binbin, with heavy work tasks, needed to arrive on time every day, and the elderly at home became her solid backing. In her view, life is not black and white. “Working mothers don’t need to be'defined', just work hard to move forward.” (The interviewee in the text is a pseudonym)
Zhao Chen