The man who raised his daughter for 8 years found that he was not he
Gao Meng finds himself in a dilemma after discovering that his daughter Lily is not related by blood.
Compared with the lawsuit against the "ex-wife", he is more reluctant to give up the child, hoping to keep Lily with him, "but the child does not have a registered permanent residence, and she will always be a black house if she stays with me."
Gao Meng told The Paper (www.thepaper.cn) that he was from Xianyang, Shaanxi. He met Lili’s mother Kong Mou when he was working in Zhengzhou in 2010. After living together, they gave birth to Lili in September 2012. “The child was born. Before, Kong Mou suddenly said that she has a family and has not divorced."
Kong's marital status disrupted Gao Meng's original plan and paved the way for Lily to become a "black household". Gao Meng said that he had wanted to wait for Kong to get married immediately after the divorce, so as to solve Lily's household registration problem. But Kong's divorce has been delayed for nearly 3 years. In 2015, he finally waited for Kong's divorce sentence, but Kong left after a month.
The paternity test showed that Gao Meng was not Lily's biological father. The Paper, reporter Chen Leizhutu
Since then, Gao Meng and several sisters raised Lily and grew up. Until 2018, when Lily was going to school, Gao Meng wanted to pass a paternity test for Lily to go to the household registration according to the requirements of the household registration police, but the results showed that Lily is not his biological daughter.
Gao Meng said that although this result hit him hard, the family decided to continue to raise Lily to grow up. This decision also made Lili's hukou issue a difficult problem for the Gao family. "The child is not biological, and I do not have the conditions for adoption, and there is no way to get her registered."
After more than a year, Gao Meng finally learned that Lily’s mother Kong had remarried to Ruicheng, Shanxi, after more than a year. He wanted to join Lily through Kong, but this request was met by Kong’s current husband Wang. Rejection.
On August 4, a policeman surnamed Zhang from the Fenglingdu Police Station in Ruicheng County said that after Gao Meng found Kong and Wang and asked for the child to register for a household registration in April this year, he had mediated the matter many times but has failed to date. A certain is no longer able to communicate, and we can't control it either."
Since receiving the paternity test report with his daughter Lily in December 2018, Gao Meng felt that he was caught in a contest between love and law, and he was stuck in the quagmire.
The identification conclusion in the paternity test report of "excluding Gao Meng as Lily's biological father" once made Gao Meng angry and dull, but facing Lily who was only 6 years old at the time, the heart of this 40-year-old northwest man began to change. Be soft, "After all, the child has called me my father for so many years, even if it is not my biological person, I can't ignore her."
According to Gao Meng's recollection, in 2010, shortly after his divorce, he left his hometown of Xianyang to work in Zhengzhou, Henan. During the period, he met Lili's mother Kong, and the two lived in Zhengzhou in a cohabitation relationship, but they never went through the marriage procedures.
In early 2012, Kong was pregnant. Gao Meng said that he thought this was good news at the time and used this to propose to register a marriage with Kong, but Kong has always shied away from it for various reasons. Kong told him that he was married in his hometown until the child was born. No divorce yet.
Kong’s truth made Gao Meng think that he had done something absurd, but at that time Kong was about to give birth and Gao Meng was riding a tiger, so he discussed with Kong to divorce the child as soon as possible after giving birth, re-organize the family, and jointly save the child. raise.
Since the two did not register for their marriage, Lily had no birth medical certificate when she was born, and she has never been able to register. Gao Meng's sister Gao Jie told The Paper that when Lily was about one year old, Kong said that she wanted to work and earn money, and that she had to fight a divorce lawsuit with her husband. She had no time to take care of Lily. So she sent her child back to Xianyang from Zhengzhou and was taken care of by relatives such as Gao Jie.
About two years later, Kong’s divorce lawsuit was finally pronounced after several twists and turns. Gao Meng thought he would soon usher in a stable life, but only one month later, when he urged Kong to apply for a marriage certificate, one morning , Kongmou quietly left their residence and never came back.
According to Gao Meng’s recollection, one day before the National Day of 2015, when he went to work at his work unit, he was told that he was on a shift due to the National Day holiday. He didn’t need to go to work that day, so he returned to his residence and found that Kong was packing things. Under questioning, Kong said that he was just packing. The room made him not think too much. Kong Mou subsequently proposed that the factory asked her to apply for a bank card to pay her wages. She claimed that she wanted to go out to apply for the card, and there was no news after she left.
"Before she went out, I persuaded her to think about the child before making any decision, but she still left." Gao Meng said that he had a premonition that Kong had another plan, but did not stop it. More than 3 months after Kong left, he contacted Gao Meng by phone, saying that he missed the child and the two had a dispute. After mediation by the police station, Kong left 20,000 yuan in support and cut off contact with the father and daughter.
But Lily's hukou issue has not been resolved. Gao Meng said that around 2018, Lili was about to go to elementary school, but was unable to enroll because he did not have a household registration. After many consultations, a household registration policeman at the police station told him that it would be enough to go to a judicial appraisal agency to issue a paternity test report. Join Lily.
Gao Meng followed the advice of the police and performed a paternity test with his daughter Lili in December 2018, but the results of the test made him struck by lightning. According to the paternity test report made by the Huada Forensic Judicial Appraisal Institute in Xixian New District, Shaanxi Province on December 11, 2018, “Based on existing data and DNA analysis results, Gao Meng was excluded as Lili’s biological father.”
The "non-biological" paternity test conclusion not only made Lily's plan to get registered permanent residence in vain, but also caused Gao Meng to suffer a heavy blow. He told The Paper that at that time he felt unable to face his past, or even Lily, but after the depression, he decided to face these problems directly, "After all, after so many years of raising, with feelings, my sister and I cannot Let go of this child".
Leaving Lily is the final decision made by Gao Meng and his sister, including his current wife, after learning that Lily has no blood relationship with them. Although a lawyer suggested that he sue Kong for compensation, Gao Meng gave up his "rights protection". He said that he worried that Lily would have to live with Kong once the lawsuit was filed. "She has almost never lived with her children, I can't imagine. What kind of life will Lily lead after she is taken away".
In order to allow Lily to have a hukou, Gao Meng approached the civil affairs department hoping to obtain Lily's legal guardianship through adoption, so that she could be registered in the household. But after the consultation, Gao Meng was told that because he had a daughter with his ex-wife before the divorce, he did not qualify for adoption. Later, another policeman from the police station told Gao Meng that Lili's mother could go to the household for the child.
In this way, searching for Lily's biological mother Kong has become Gao Meng's main job for a whole year in 2019. He said that he traveled back and forth between Xianyang and Zhengzhou many times during the year, and after inquiries from various sources, he finally found out before the Spring Festival that Kong had remarried to Ruicheng County, Shanxi Province. But soon, the new crown epidemic broke out, villages and roads were closed, and the search for Kong was put on hold.
Gao Meng said that in the year he was inquiring about Kong’s whereabouts, a school in Xianyang City, after hearing about Lily’s experience, agreed to let Lily go to school temporarily, but the household registration information must be added as soon as possible. “After the Spring Festival, The school has repeatedly asked about the household registration. If they do not have a household registration, they will not dare to accept Lily again after the first grade."
Gao Meng realized that the matter was urgent. In April of this year, just after the epidemic was brought under control, he took a few relatives to Shanxi to find Kong, but the matter did not go smoothly. They inquired around, and when they finally found Kong's house, Kong's current husband Wang was very repulsive of their arrival. The two sides almost clashed, and even called the police.
Gao Meng said that under the mediation of the police at the police station, Wang agreed to let Gao Meng pay 10,000 yuan to register with Lili. So the two families took Lily to do a paternity test for the mother and daughter and identified their mother and daughter. Relationship, "But after the paternity test was done, they changed their minds. The price negotiated before changed from 10,000 yuan to 15,000 yuan, and finally to 20,000 yuan."
What Gao Meng did not expect was that after Wang proposed to increase the price, he also proposed to "pay the money first and then go to the house." He said that after the previous change and increase in prices, he could no longer trust Wang. He proposed to Wang that he could pay the money first, but he must go through the police, and then the police would transfer the money to Wang after he got the household registration book. The other party refused to agree, this matter has been consumed from April to now, and there has been no result."
In fact, as early as the first mediation, after Gao Meng promised to give the money, he had already handed over 10,000 yuan to the police as a guarantee, requesting that as long as he got the account book, he could give the money to Wang and Kong. Gao Meng said that even if the other party raised the price later, he did not object very much. "I persuaded myself to buy a hukou for my child. I don't care about losing money. I just want my daughter to have a hukou.
After Kongmou left, Lily grew up under the care of Gao Meng and her family. The Paper, reporter Chen Leizhutu
According to Gao Meng’s sister Gao Jie, in late April of this year, Kong Mou frankly confessed that she wanted to register her child with Lily, but she has remarried and has two children at home. It doesn't count.
On August 4, in Qili Village, Fenglingdu Town, Ruicheng County, a villager told The Paper that since April this year, Gao Meng and his relatives have been to Qili Village many times to discuss with Kong Mou and her husband on the registration of their children. Many people have already known about the matter, "especially recently, after the incident was posted on the Internet, everyone in the village has already known it. This made Kong's husband feel shameless and very dissatisfied."
The above-mentioned villagers said that since Kong Mou married to Qili Village a few years ago, she rarely interacted with other people. The villagers only knew that she was a foreigner, and they did not know the rest. After Kong came to Qili Village, his situation was not optimistic, and he was often beaten by her husband Wang.
A local village official confirmed to The Paper that Kong had reported to the public security organs for help because of domestic violence, and the village committee had also visited his home for mediation.
In the afternoon of the same day, Kong's husband, Wang, mentioned the matter to The Paper, saying that he was very busy recently and had no time to help Gao Meng to register his children, and he did not want Kong to come out alone. . Regarding the cost of the account registration, Wang said that before 20,000 yuan could be done, he is now embarrassed by the fact that the matter has been stabbed on the Internet, "I don't want to say a word of how much money you have said."
In this regard, a policeman surnamed Zhang from Fenglingdu Police Station said that he had found Wang to coordinate the matter many times since April this year, but the other party refused to agree, "I was almost able to make sense, but things suddenly changed. Being exposed on the Internet caused conflicts to intensify again. Wang even swears at me because of this, and I have no choice now."
The above-mentioned policeman surnamed Zhang was emotional when he mentioned Wang's attitude towards him, and then refunded the 10,000 yuan he had previously charged Gao Meng, saying that he could not manage the matter.
Gao Meng said that he is now in a dilemma. He thinks that Wang knows that his child will start school in September and is anxious to go to the hukou for enrollment, deliberately avoiding the embarrassment. He couldn’t just watch Lily without a registered permanent residence, and staying as a black house. He couldn’t bear to sue Kong and let her take Lily away. “Once the lawsuit is filed, I have no possibility to continue to raise Lily. Kong has no relationship with her child. Now that I can't even protect myself, how can I rest assured that she will take the child away."
In response, a household registration police officer from Junma Police Station of the Public Security Bureau of Liquan County, Shaanxi Province, where Gaomeng's household registration is located, said that Gaomeng had visited the station many times to give his daughter Lili a household registration, but the child did not have a birth medical certificate, and the paternity test results also showed that They are not biological fathers and daughters, and they cannot apply for household registration for Lily according to regulations.
The aforementioned police said that after learning about Lily’s situation, they gave advice that Gao Meng did not have the conditions for adoption, and that Lily’s biological mother was still alive, not an orphan, and could not go through the adoption procedures, and could only help her at the place where Lily’s biological mother was registered. Go home. If the other party does not have the ability and willingness to raise, the two parties can negotiate and Gao Meng will continue to raise Lily. "This is the most legal way we can think of to solve the child's hukou issue, but if the other party does not cooperate, this matter is indeed very important. Difficult."
Gao Meng said that since learning that Lily is not his own biological daughter, he has abandoned his dignity and face, asking for help, hoping that Lily can live a normal life like other children, "but now I have nowhere to go, there is no way. I can only'let go', and I can't let my children have no registered permanent residence because I can't bear to let them go to school."
(Note: In order to protect the privacy of minors, Gao Meng, Gao Jie and Lili in the article are all pseudonyms)
(This article is from The Paper. For more original information, please download the "The Paper" APP)
The Paper, reporter Chen Leizhu