Chinanews.com, Beijing, August 4th. In this summer, "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves" and "Thirty Only" triggered countless discussions on women's topics, "30 years old + group girl group", "Are full-time wives independent women"... The pressures and predicaments that modern women face in society have also been repeatedly mentioned.

　　On August 2, the sociologist Li Yinhe brought his new work "A Short Stay on the Branches of the World" to talk to readers present and online about life, love and poems, from passionate love, female independence, age anxiety to Individual freedom, expressing opinions on many popular women's topics.

Source: Photo courtesy of the publisher

At the moment, women’s age anxiety is much higher than men’s

　　This year, several female-themed film and television dramas and variety shows are very hot. The audience expects them before the broadcast, and they are constantly searching after the broadcast. Age anxiety, workplace anxiety, parenting anxiety, identity anxiety... Modern women are increasingly independent, and at the same time, they are facing more and more problems. Complex and difficult to understand.

　　As an expert in the field of marriage, family, and sex, Li Yinhe has always advocated women's independence in marriage and childbirth, and keeping single is also a choice, and has a deep understanding of women's inner confusion and expectations.

　　Shortly after "Thirty Only" first aired, "Are a full-time wife an independent woman" made a hot search. Li Yinhe said that in Chinese society, there has been too much controversy about women going home.

　　“In the past, the husband and wife’s wages were put together to support the family. After the reform and opening up, some people became rich first, and some men could keep their wives from working, so full-time wives appeared. I think it’s okay as a personal choice. For example, housework and child-bearing are valuable, but they are not paid. But if their family depends entirely on the husband’s income, it will still be traditionally male-dominated and female-dominated, and at least the economy cannot be independent."

Li Yinhe. Source: Photo courtesy of the publisher.

　　As for "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves", Li Yinhe also expressed her own views. She believes that in the current social atmosphere dominated by patriarchal culture, women's age anxiety is much higher than that of men. "If you are neither young nor beautiful, you are not married, and you have not given birth to children, it seems that you are over thirty years old, and you are not married and have children when you reach thirty. Everyone thinks this woman is a failure and worthless. This is the invisible oppression of women by the patriarchal society. In a society where men and women have equal rights, the pressure on women’s age will be much less."

　　"Why is this show so popular? It's also a kind of backlash. These female guests used to be young and beautiful, but now they are a certain age. I think this show is quite interesting. They show themselves confidently, which is equivalent to reversing the pressure of public opinion. This It just proves that this era has slowly moved from the patriarchal culture to the direction of equality between men and women. Women have other values ​​besides being young and beautiful."

People are much more free than what they do

　　At the press conference of "A Short Stay on the Branches of the World", a reader asked Li Yinhe a question about academic research achievements and vigorous love on the road to relationships. How can she "be yourself rashly" like this?

　　"Foucault said that people are much more free than you think. Sometimes you always think that I can't do this, and this can't work, but in fact you can do it. My experience may be At some of the choices in life, try to follow your own heart."

　　"I got my Ph.D. in sociology from the United States and returned to Peking University to be a postdoctoral fellow at Fei Xiaotong, while giving lectures. But I can’t bear to repeat a set of things over and over again. It’s okay to talk with my nose, but I prefer to do I was transferred to the Academy of Social Sciences for research. So it’s very important to know your hobbies, where your abilities are, what you want, and be competent and happy when you do it. This is what you want most in life. Follow this Do it."

Source: Photo courtesy of the publisher.

　　In the new book, Li Yinhe wrote a short chapter of light and artistic literature, both prose and poetry, containing sincere thinking about life, love, and writing. For example, love is actually something suitable for hiding, but because it is too beautiful and too dazzling , And triggered the urge to express. So there are poems in the world.

　　When asked about the vigorous love experience in the past, Li Yinhe said frankly, "From my own feeling, Wang Xiaobo will be a permanent memory, a part of my life, but he is not all, my life, my life I will continue to live my life, and I will continue to pursue love and beauty."

　　Just like what she wrote in her book: People have souls, are born to laugh and suffer, and are born to sing and be silent. Everyone’s life is first and foremost one's own-one's own life, one's own death, one's pain, one's own happiness-others cannot replace, even the person you love the most, even the person who loves you the most.

Loneliness is the most authentic state of existence

　　"A Short Stay on the Branches of the World" is Li Yinhe’s first poetic collection of short chapters. She said, "I often feel that life is like a bird perching on a branch, but only for a short stay. When a branch falls, it is born. Li is death, and it takes only a moment from falling to flying away. From the side, this habitat is poetic, and my own feelings are also poetic."

"A short stay on the branches of the world." Source: Photo courtesy of the publisher.

　　After retiring in 2012, Li Yinhe moved from Beijing to Weihai. Every day, she maintained a stable "syllogism" life: writing in the morning, reading in the afternoon, and watching movies in the evening.

　　She remembered hearing Kant’s story when she was a child. Kant’s daily walks were extremely punctual, and the housewives in the city even used the time he passed by to correct their clocks. "Although my life hasn't been regular to such a rigid and precise level, I like his tone in general: it's so quiet and not active, it's so solitary and not lively."

　　On the day of the book launch, a female reader who was born in the 1960s said that she was reading Li Yinhe’s autobiography recently, and she had quite some feelings. Now that she is at the retirement age and her children are also going out to study, she feels a bit lonely and doesn’t know how to arrange Good retirement, enjoy this kind of loneliness.

　　Li Yinhe replied: "Loneliness is the most authentic state of existence. One person comes and one person walks. People think that the state of loneliness must be very miserable, and always see its negative aspects. In fact, many writers and philosophers live alone. Yes. The fuller a person’s self, the more lonely he will meet all his needs psychologically. The state of loneliness is not only passive, but also active. The body is comfortable and the spirit can be happy, such as watching Movies and books. If you lower the threshold a little, you can have a lot of good things to watch. Your life and time are simply not enough, and you can live a particularly fulfilling life." (End)