Chinanews client, Beijing, August 2nd, title: Is the marriage that even Du Fu praised is really perfect?
"Marriage is the grave of love." This sentence has been used by many people to tease others or describe themselves. Although with a hint of ridicule, it also shows a bit of helplessness.
There are really not many love stories that are so happy that they have been passed down through the ages. Du Fu wrote one in "Qintai": "After Maoling became sick, he still loved Zhuo Wenjun. The wine shop is in the world, and the night sky of Qintai." The heroine is the Western Han Dynasty. Talented woman Zhuo Wenjun.
Drawing: Wei Leichao
Her experience is legendary: when she was young, she dared to pursue what she loved; when she was old and nearly abandoned, she was able to successfully defend her marriage with wisdom. Inside and outside of marriage, her brilliance is enough to make herself stand side by side with her husband, who is a talented man.
Zhuo Wenjun was a native of Linqiong in the Western Han Dynasty. By today's standards, he is a proper "Bai Fumei".
In Linqiong, her father Zhuo Wangsun was a wealthy man who no one knew about. Because of his business skills for generations, his family had accumulated a lot of wealth, not to mention countless treasures, and many servants.
To his daughter, the father really loves her. Since she was a child, she asked people to teach her how to play the piano and draw. Zhuo Wenjun is very smart, knowing everything she learns, and she soon became a well-known talented woman.
As she grows older, her face is getting higher and higher, with picturesque eyebrows, fair and delicate skin, and she looks very good when smiling. You can imagine how likable such a talented and beautiful woman is.
Everyone thinks that Zhuo Wenjun will have the most perfect life, including marriage. However, things backfired. Her first marriage was very unfortunate, and her husband passed away not long after they got married. Zhuo Wangsun pityed his daughter and asked her to move back home.
Although he was married, Zhuo Wenjun was born in a wealthy family after all, and he was outstanding in all aspects. After returning to his natal family, there were still many suitors. But she was always noncommittal, and secretly made up her mind that she must find someone with the same mind when remarrying.
Soon, this person appeared.
At a banquet, Zhuo Wenjun met Sima Xiangru, a talented person who is proficient in rhythm.
Drawing: Wei Leichao
He is a good friend of Linqiong County Magistrate Wang Ji. He is talented and handsome. Even from a poor family background, he has always been depressed in his career. Wang Ji invited Sima Xiang Tathaga to come to his side to relax, and he often came to visit with a very respectful attitude.
"Sima Xiangru is a distinguished guest of the magistrate!" The news quickly spread across the streets of Linqiong. When Zhuo Wangsun heard about it, he discussed with other wealthy households and set up a banquet to invite Wang Ji and Sima Xiangru to come over for dinner.
Zhuo Wenjun had heard of Sima Xiangru's reputation for a long time, so he secretly hid behind the door on the day of the banquet, trying to see who he was.
Coincidentally, Sima Xiangru also admired Zhuo Wenjun very much. Therefore, when someone asked him to play a piece of music, he didn't shy away from it, and took some careful thoughts, and specially presented the song "Feng Qiu Huang".
Gold is easy to get, but it is hard to find one with the heart. Zhuo Wenjun understood the meaning of the song, and he was surprised and happy. That night, after much consideration, she finally made up her mind: go with Sima Xiangru and leave Linqiong!
To Zhuo Wenjun's actions, sensible people will inevitably find it rash. But for her, this is the most courageous pursuit of love. She knows that her father will oppose it, and she has the courage to bear all the consequences: No matter rich or poor, I am willing to go with life and death.
As recorded in the history books, "Wenjun died at night and ran to Xiangru, Xiangrunai and galloped back to Chengdu."
Knowing that his daughter and Sima Xiangru had gone to Chengdu together, Zhuo Wangsun really flew into a rage, and said harshly: Don't give them a penny!
Drawing: Wei Leichao
To break with the family, Zhuo Wenjun must be suffering in his heart. In the aspect of life, he is faced with another test: Sima Xiangru's family is really not ordinary poor, almost his family has no longevity.
She doesn't care about poverty. She has tea and rice every day, and she is in harmony with Sima like a piano. After a period of time, in order to make a living, Zhuo Wenjun and her husband returned to Linqiong together, sold their carts and horses, and opened a tavern with the exchanged money.
She couldn't afford too many guys, so she put down her body, sold wine, and greeted the customers in person. Sima Xiangru put on easy-to-work calf trousers and stood in the busy city to clean the drinking vessels. Although painful, but also happy.
Someone once analyzed that this was a small method used by Zhuo Wenjun to ask his father for peace. Parents always reluctant to bear the hardship of their children. But on the other hand, she was born in a big family, she dared to show her face, and was not bound by secular concepts, but also needed great courage.
In desperation, Zhuo Wangsun compromised. He gave his daughter servants and large sums of money, as well as the clothes and bedding needed for the marriage, and so on. He admitted this marriage in disguise. Zhuo Wenjun and her husband returned to Chengdu, bought a farm house and lived a prosperous life.
She didn't look away from Sima Xiangru's talent. After Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty succeeded to the throne, he appreciated Sima Xiangru and entrusted him with important tasks. Li Bai once wrote, "The emperor of the Han family gallops on a horse, and the Red Army meets each other on the Shu Road", and he is talking about the scene of Sima Xiangru.
Days are getting better and better, but Zhuo Wenjun doesn't know that the seemingly perfect marriage has quietly cracked.
According to legend, Sima Xiang was an official outside the country all the time. Later, when he met a woman in Maoling, she became obsessed with a demon. He also wrote a letter to his wife very candidly: I plan to take a concubine.
Drawing: Wei Leichao
After reading this letter, Zhuo Wenjun burst into tears immediately. But she calmed down quickly. She neither denounced her husband for empathy, nor did she cry about her hardship, but wrote a poem as a reply, which is said to be the famous "Baitou Yin".
She looked back on the past and expressed her attitude. In Zhuo Wenjun's mind, love and marriage should be as pure as white snow on the mountain and full moon in the clouds. She did not want to wrong herself, nor did she want to live it on.
Zhuo Wenjun is no longer young, but still calmly tells her husband, "Wen Jun has two intentions, so he is determined to each other." If you change your mind, then we will be different and cherish each other.
Perhaps he was moved by his wife's heartfelt words, or perhaps he was reminded of the time when he shared the joys and sorrows of the past. After receiving this letter from his wife, Sima Xiangru's feelings were hard to say, but he never thought of concubine. The two reconciled as before.
According to legend, Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun ended up living in Linquan and staying together for life. Their love story has also been passed down as a good story.
Drawing: Wei Leichao
Some people say that a strong marriage requires two people to operate together, so that the evenly matched can reach the end. "Equally matched" is not only about family origin, but also includes the vision, ability, character, and even hobbies of two people.
People may have different opinions on whether Zhuo Wenjun's marriage is happy. But in addition to talent and family background, she does have the insight and mind that rivals her husband. When her husband changes his mind, she does not accept it, but makes a calm judgment, can afford it, and let it go. Her personality is always independent.
She has always maintained a decisive character that exceeds that of many contemporaries: when she believes that love comes, she has the courage to pursue it; when faced with life tribulations, she has the courage to take the initiative to change; when the marriage is almost betrayed, she is smart enough to guard.
Not everyone has to become Zhuo Wenjun, each person has his own way of living. But her attitude towards marriage can cause some thoughts: to pursue love but not to be confined to love, always have the expectation of "the white head will not be separated", and she is not afraid of the choice of "decisiveness".
"Poor and sad, no need to cry when we marry." In love and marriage, it is probably not wrong to have proper sobriety and independence. (Finish)