Mother "exfiltrated" from marital home testifies

• Launched last year in Bordeaux by Florence Elie, Elien Rebirth works everywhere in France to support victims of domestic violence.
• Alongside those of Putain de guerrières, the 30 volunteers (therapists, lawyers, trainers, etc.) of Elien Rebirth offer moral and financial support, possibilities for retraining and "exfiltration" to the victims.
• Aurélie, "exfiltrated" from her home in emergency on June 9, testifies to the need for a helping hand when an abusive spouse prevents "opening even a door".

"It only takes a blow to kill someone, I just needed a helping hand." Aurélie * is now one of the survivors. Of those who have managed to get away from an abusive spouse. It took him ten years to understand and endure, four more to "plan his release". This June 9, thanks to the help of thirty volunteers from Elien Rebirth, she was "exfiltrated" from her house, with her four children. “I only had four minutes before me. I closed the door and I said "chao" to terror, "says the one that 20 Minutes met this Friday in the garden of a hotel in the suburbs of Bordeaux.

Beside her stands Camille *, the date of birth of her mother tattooed on her forearm and the love for Aurélie in her eyes. Further on Louis, 10, and Thomas, 4, play and laugh, "finally". Mathias, 13, is still in bed, discreetly treated far from his violent stepfather. The toddler let go of the start of confinement. In response to the psychological harassment suffered by his mother, he chose not to eat so much that he was hospitalized.

"Avoid ending up with five coffins at the exit"

This is where the survival of Aurélie and her four children came into play. The CHU wanted to report the abused child and the distressed quadra passed for the “bad mother”: “I had been living a nightmare for fifteen years but I experienced the worst when I was told that I was going to be remove my children. It was counting without the verve and strength of Florence Elie. Victim of incest and then sexually assaulted by a violent spouse, the Bordelaise launched Elien Rebirth last year. Since then, more than 30 women victims of domestic violence have benefited from her talents as a speaker and from her network [the association is sponsored by Mohamed Bouhafsi and Elsa Wolinski].

Aurélie met the determined during a training on crisis management given at GIGN, last February in Bordeaux. “I had been walking step by step for a while and I wanted to learn to deal with my spouse's terrible words. I was told that Florence was there, I quickly went to confide, ”she explains, without ever letting go of Florence's hand.

The sparkling quadra, whose phone kept ringing during confinement, has not given up on the family since then. "I asked Mathias' doctor to give us time before pressing the" mistreatment "button in order to organize exfiltration according to the rules, respecting the law. She agreed and gave us less than three days. It was incredible and a first for me, ”says Florence. And to remember that the doctor "was a woman who very quickly understood that we were talking about avoiding ending up with five coffins on my conscience. "

"I make myself vomit every day to try to wash myself of all this. "

It is therefore with the complicity of the pediatric service that Mathias is sheltered "in a secret place where care is always provided to him". Aurélie quickly leaves the CHU and goes home to collect her toddlers. "I was impatiently awaiting the start, I was ready," says Camille, the only child to know and who admits being "proud" of her mother. Aurélie, accompanied by Florence and lawyers from Elien Rebirth, will go directly to the police station: “It took me more than two hours to convince the gendarme to take my complaint. He refused my daughter's. He didn't take us seriously because I had no bruises, no blood. The friends I trusted had reacted the same way. However, I am destroyed. I make myself vomit every day to try to wash myself of all this. "

All these are the ban on using the phone at home ["who do you need to call while I'm there?" »], To wear makeup [« to seduce who? »], Going out to see friends [« to sleep with whom? »]. 200 texts a day while she watched her son in the hospital: "where are you?" ", " What do you do ? ", " Do you love me ? " They are death threats: "If you leave, I kill you or I kill myself but one of us will die." "He said I was shit, that without him I was nothing." I ended up no longer having a life, by no longer existing for anyone, ”explains Aurélie.

Anti-rapprochement bracelet, emergency number ... Update on the measures announced at the end of the Grenelle of domestic violence pic.twitter.com/7R7B1q1Uqd

The victim assures that there has never been any physical violence ... before telling the forced sex: "During the confinement, he made exceptions to come and see Mathias at the hospital. He never saw my son but asked for blowjobs in the parking lot of the CHU. I never said "no" because I was afraid for my children who were with him at home. "

A “reconstruction company”

Many criticized Aurélie for not having left earlier. But "he who took himself for God" had blocked access to bank accounts and taken his identity card. Finally prohibit him from going out after the birth of the youngest. “I did not have the strength to oppose. I was terrorized and weakened by my health, ”said Aurélie. The young woman was close to 140 pounds and had just undergone bariatric surgery when she decides to have her tubes tied. “Four months after the operation, I went to check up. I was told "we are keeping you, you are going to give birth". I hadn't felt anything. Maybe my baby suspected and hid. I could only stay, ”says Aurélie.

The furious spouse will demand a paternity test, ransack the house and a new turn of the rules of life. This is where Aurélie will secretly prepare her exit: “I lied every day, from morning to evening. I managed to get him to agree to my return to work. He checked my quotes, which I took care to falsify to save money. Florence pretended to be a client. "

All about domestic violence

Fifteen days after his "exfiltration", Mathias is not yet out of the woods. Aurélie, for her part, has just signed up for accommodation "with the guarantee of Florence". Camille wears a neckline and black over her eyes. Louis and Thomas finally smile at the idea of ​​inviting friends to the house. The family leaves until September to “be together” and get their heads out of the water a bit. Aurélie then wants to start making “recognition of psychological violence” a struggle. Supported by the benevolent brigade of Elien Rebirth, the one who works “in demolition” undertakes, she says, her “reconstruction enterprise”.

* All first names have been changed.

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