Tuesday, in "Without appointment", the sexologist Catherine Blanc answered the question of Sabrina, who wonders if, to recover from her breakup and to console herself, she should not embark on a relationship without tomorrow in order to forget your pain and move on.

Sabrina's boyfriend broke up with her recently. She wonders if, to recover from this breakup, she shouldn't try an evening plan to forget her pain and move on. In  Sans rendez-vous , the sexologist Catherine Blanc believes that you must first learn from this relationship that has just ended, and find yourself with yourself to be able to move forward.

Sabrina's question 

My boyfriend broke up three weeks ago. It is always very painful for me. Do you think that I should go and console myself with an evening plan, is that a good way to forget?  

Catherine Blanc's response

It is not the same thing to leave someone or to be left. We did not choose it, we do not control the situation. Either it is only pride that causes pain, and it can be understood, or it can simply be to have lost all the imagination that we had in projecting this relationship. So obviously, it takes time. Mourning a relationship is not a snap because the other person closes the door.

We keep asking ourselves questions and we invent the story of the other or we invent everything that we have not experienced and that we would have liked to have lived with the other. As with someone's bereavement, there is no standard time rule for recovering from a breakup. Everyone has their capacity to deal with, with the memories, and the sweetness or the suffering of those memories that have not found an aftermath in the relationship. 

Isn't the best way to recover from a breakup to move on? 

You have to move on, but the best way to do it may not be to jump on someone else. The goal is not to be afraid of emptiness, to be afraid of facing yourself unrelated and to have the feeling that the reason for the pain is because you do not know how to do with yourself -even. You must first know how to do with yourself before going into relationships to create quality relationships.

As such, the story of an evening is possible but in general, it will be with a man who is compared to the one who is missing. No one has to be the subject of a story of personal grief. We don't have to subject this to anyone and be so contemptuous of the other just to say that we are free to jump on someone else.

Can it still be good to get away with someone else? 

When we go there with an idea of ​​suffering, we will go there with a desire for revenge or the idea that in any case we can only be abandoned and mistreated. There is not necessarily a great way out of a story like this.

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You have to know how to get back into a beautiful idea of ​​yourself to be able to go conquer the world and therefore conquer one or another. But by to fill the void created by the other. 

Can we follow up with another serious relationship? 

There is no rule. Often we are bothered by the eyes of others. As if crying the departure of the other meant not daring to find a relationship too quickly because it would mean that we did not really cry the other. As if you had to prove your love with long suffering. 

But there are wonderful encounters that come to surprise the idea that we made it impossible to come. So obviously that we can meet someone very early and leave in a relationship and feel beautiful in this new perspective to start again in a new relationship which will be nourished by what we will have learned from the previous relationship and from his fall. The goal is not to go from one relationship to another without having learned much, otherwise, we repeat the same things over and over again.