Poison.

I first heard this word four years ago. When I heard that an acquaintance had published a book, the title of the book was <Monopoly Parenting>. At that time, I was single, unmarried, and even though I had no knowledge of parenting, I was scared by the expression'solvation'. Doesn't that mean ‘every single person overturns or handles alone’? Of course, when I had a child, I thought that only a couple would raise it together, but when I first came up with the idea of'something's wrong', I was able to get a book titled <Single Parenting>. And I decided. I'm not asking my wife to get married as'marriage alone'. At that time, I didn't know how far it was from reality.


After a while, he got married and had a child. My wife quit her mid-pregnant job, but she was forced to move away from the office when she was hard to commute to work due to pregnancy, and was forced to work because her co-workers quit. I had to quit my job when I couldn't go to work or work more. But is it fortunate to be unhappy? At the time, my wife didn't work, so I could apply for parental leave. (From February 28, 2020, a couple can apply for parental leave at the same time.) If my wife had been absent, I would have been forced to continue working. Soon I applied for parental leave to the company, and a few months later my pretty daughter was born, and I started to devote myself to parenting with my wife.


** Parental leave is a system in which workers with children under the age of 8 can take a leave of absence for one year per child. It is an institution.

Seeing a child was harder than working at a company. I was used to the role of an office worker, but it was my first time as a parent. I didn't know anything about the baby and everything felt awkward and difficult. From going diapers to bathing, trimming and sleeping, there was nothing easy. In particular, when I calmed a baby crying when I couldn't sleep at dawn, I thought,'Have you ever had such a difficult time in life?' As time went by, I was getting used to it, but my first childcare experience was hard enough to describe in words. However, I thought how hard it would have been if my wife had to do all of this alone, and my head was sore.

No matter how busy you are, there is a break in the company, and no matter how many days you work, you go to work but there is no work for childcare. There were times when I had to eat meals because I didn't have time to eat and eat. The house was always an emergency because of the crying of a baby like a disaster warning text that sounds all day. When crying and holding a crying baby and barely lying down, crying again, crying even when changing diapers, and even crying, the baby cried without any attempt. Until 100 days ago, the childcare scene looked like this.

Luckily, I had better co-parenting with my wife, but I wouldn't have been able to stand up to myself if I had a single child alone. When I saw a baby alone, I couldn't eat well, I couldn't sleep well, and I couldn't wash well. If I had raised my child alone, my body and mind would have been devastated. It was also understandable through experience that'it is because of postpartum depression'.


However, there were other difficulties. During the leave of absence, the company did not receive a salary, which was very economical. The childcare leave paid by the Ministry of Employment and Labor differed significantly from the company's monthly salary. The pay for parental leave is set at the upper limit of 1.5 million won for the first 3 months, and 1.2 million won for 4 to 12 months, but even 75% is paid, and the remaining 25% is paid after 6 months after reinstatement. From 4 months, it was 900,000 won. Although the minimum cost of living for a three-person family in Korea is about 2.3 million, the allowance for parental leave is 90 to 1.1 million won, which is an insufficient amount to maintain a living. But even without it, my wife and I had to go out and make money right away.

The reason why I was able to continue my childcare leave for one year without reinstatement despite economic difficulties was because I knew too much about the difficulties of childcare. I passed all my childcare burden on my wife and I couldn't go to work alone. Instead, I lived by saving the money I had saved. You could make money later, but you couldn't stand this weight alone right now. If it were, my wife would have been hard and lonely at home and at work. Because we shared our burdens with parenting, we never had a big fight, and all three families were able to do well with our bodies and minds.

Above all, the parental leave period was
a time to realize the meaning of'true family'.


Since then, based on my experience, I have been actively recommending parental leave to others around me. If it is difficult to take a parental leave for a long time, such as financial difficulties and company conditions, it would be good for the couple to see the child together through parental leave even for three months. There is a saying, '100 days miracle'. When the child is born, about 100 days have passed, the person begins to sleep for a long time and the life also finds stability. If at least that couple of years can raise a child together, a couple will develop a consensus and a consensus like a miracle of 100 days.


However, in reality, there are still many barriers for men to take parental leave. It is said that the company has to endure the disadvantages of the company's notice, promotion, and high school, and in the case of small and medium-sized companies, it is said that it is an atmosphere that cannot speak out about the parental leave. It is also a major stumbling block to increase work for those who are left due to childcare leave benefits that are far below the minimum cost of living and the absence of leavers. To compensate for this, the Ministry of Employment and Labor is encouraging employers to hire people to replace maternity leave/childcare leave with the ``subsidy for childbirth and childcare (800,000 won per month/300,000 won for large companies),'' but it is not well done in the field. Is not. The issue of low fertility is pointed out every time, but it is difficult to find effective measures. We hope that the government and corporations will make efforts to complement the existing parental leave system so that there will be no difficulties in actual use.

Raising a child is a natural right and responsibility, so I
hope our dads can become a society that can demand a'land leave'.



#In-It #In-It #Papases #

'In-It' to think with this article, meet now.
[In-It] Six years old in a car accident, became a driving adult