Within a couple, the fantasies of each partner can sometimes converge, but also be a source of tension or frustration. Thus, Axel, in a relationship for several months, feels sexually frustrated, because he has not yet dared to confide in his companion his desire to make love to her in a more "beastly" way. Friday, in Without appointment , the sexologist Catherine Blanc, reminded him of the importance of dialogue in the couple, so that each partner respects the limits of the other.
Axel's question
"As a couple with my girlfriend for 7 months, I am still a little frustrated on the sexual level, because I like to make love in a bestial way, even brutal, but I am afraid of shocking her. How to do it to make him accept my fantasy? "
Catherine Blanc's response
In sexuality there is a very animal, very primary impulse, an impulse where one wishes to possess the other. But all this happens in a marvelous way insofar as these are shared things, and which are not intended to harm the other. On the other hand, the goal is not to make people accept a fantasy, but to share this fantasy and let the other express themselves, see if she herself is in this desire, but perhaps incapable of it. Express.
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This desire for bestiality is not reserved for men. But pornography has given this rather unbalanced image of abruptness in sexuality, with male domination over a completely submissive female. But the ardent feminine desire is also important, with the desire to be taken, to be able to express its emotion and the pleasure felt in groans and cries. The need to grab his partner can be as strong in one as in the other.
"We always have the idea that, the man being stronger muscularly, women are white geese all fragile, that we will break between his arms. However, women are just as strong in the power of their desire.
Can pain be part of pleasure? For some, being in pain can be a source of pleasure. But that is not to hurt in the sense of an injury. We can rather compare this to an athlete, who will push his muscle, his breath, even in entrenchments that will make him feel alive. There may be something like that in sexuality. But don't let me say that women like it basic, as pornography suggests. To know the limits, it's up to everyone to express their limit.