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Calling normality new discredits both the adjective and the noun. It is not so much oxymoron as nonsense. But there is no other way to get used to it. Until Hitchcock filmed Psychosis , movie theater hours were rather flexible. After the 1960 movie, no one dared be late anymore. There was a risk of missing the murder of the protagonist in the first act. Well, everything indicates that until the coronavirus pandemic does not end, one will have to memorize the odd contradiction. The new normality forces.

When and how do I buy the ticket?

At home online or at the box office with a card and if possible without a PIN. I mean, contactless . The key is not to touch.

Can I buy popcorn and soda?

If you still haven't gotten rid of the bad habit of chewing while watching a movie, you can continue to martyr your neighbor. But be careful, you can only eat food (or whatever) served by someone. Goodbye, therefore, to the self-service jelly beans that make jelly eaters so happy. In my usual cinema they are called gominolos.

Where and with whom do I sit?

At the moment, the cinemas will continue without solving sentimental problems. The couple must be brought from home and the possibility of flirting with him / her next door is drastically reduced. The allocation of tickets will take care of leaving the «adequate distance». It is not specified whether one, two or three seats. What does not admit doubts is that the cinema will be seen in a very comfortable and wide way. The capacity will never exceed a third of the total and strict control will be followed. And yes, each sheep with its partner.

And what about the tails?

Otherwise, will we live in the cinemas the same queues that we suffer in supermarkets? The answer is no. From the moment the spectator arrives at the box office until they leave the cinema, the rooms will do their utmost to ensure that distances are scrupulously respected. That means that there will be indicators on the ground signaling the two meters of rigor and, more importantly, the passes will be spaced to avoid crowds. Alfons Mas, from the Boliche cinemas in Barcelona, ​​even talks about enabling differentiated entrances and exits: "I will have to make the rear exits work," he says. And one more, for the very fetishists: there will never be a physical cut of tickets. That is, the collections earn a lot.

And what about hygiene and urinals?

Basically nothing happens. The Spanish Cinema Federation (FECE) is committed to providing hydroalcoholic gel at various points in the facilities and requests that they be used. Of course, no cinema will be opened that does not have the corresponding screen at the box office. There are few, but some remain. And the urinals will cease to be a gathering place after the screening (yes, some of them would like to become a charlatan while relieving themselves). They will also undergo an incontinent control and in the cases that are necessary, some will be closed so that the distance is much greater than the usual spatter . We refer, of course, to men and their leaks. And with that said, the experience of going to the movies seems to improve with the new normal. Too bad it's not profitable.

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  • Descaled
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lockdown
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