"Families! I hate you! Closed fires; doors closed; jealous possessions of happiness", writes André Gide in Les Nourritures terrestres . If the confinement and the waning of social ties in this period of health crisis have many negative aspects, for some people, isolation is a form of liberation. It allows you to escape the suffocating attention of your loved ones, to distance yourself from an overweight family, which you fear to criticize the attentions and excessive tenderness, for fear of hurting. In Sans Rendez-vous this Tuesday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc talks about how to take advantage of this period to make people understand that being away can also be good .
"In the perspective of deconfinement, I see, around me, my family, my loved ones, rejoicing. They plan reunions, parties and hugs. But that worries me, I see an anxiety-provoking perspective with the return of my family problems. What do you think? "
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Catherine Blanc's response
"The health crisis allowed Gaëlle to put her family problems aside, but also allowed her to put her family away. It is not always easy to do with your family when you are under the influence of their own, because we do not know how to put the right distance or because we have the impression of being eaten, of being under the yoke of their prescription, their law of life, their fears too , all with this obligation of loyalty that we owe to those close to us.
The time of confinement allowed distance, autonomy. Gaëlle has rediscovered the feeling of belonging. For those who find it very difficult to set the right distances, confinement has enabled them to do so, authorized by national ordinance, failing to manage to say this directly to parents or their siblings.
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Can there be a backlash on deconfinement?
The containment allows you to be in your own brand, not to suffer from doing with the other and the other imposed in everyday life. Life in society is rich, joyful, full of possibilities, of proposals, but it is also a constraining life, which obliges to find compromises. If man needs to live in society, however, in our comfort of confinement we have become used to be the kings of the world, and we will have to re-learn to share this world ...
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Can we take advantage of this confinement, and of the distance imposed, to admit to our loved ones that they tend to choke us?
Gaëlle could indeed use this distance to tell her family how much the isolation made her feel good, and thus lift the veil on painful subjects. Talking on the phone during this period of distance allows you to protect yourself: you can hang up or be forced to hang up because of an opportune meeting, but it is also the way to make the most of distance when you are afraid the look of the other when telling him what doesn't suit us. "