Young woman has her window with a mask. Paris, France, March 29, 2020. - NICOLAS MESSYASZ / SIPA

  • Too bad for them, they were born in late March or April and their birthday falls in the middle of confinement.
  • But for some of our readers, there is no question of letting this very special situation rot this special day. They party, even virtually.
  • For others, this confined anniversary will leave a bitter taste and send them back to their feeling of loneliness.

An evening in a bar, a romantic dinner in a restaurant, a weekend with friends? Tower fell into the water with containment. And the anniversary that we had to celebrate very surrounded will finally turn into a very very intimate evening, in slippers and pajamas. A perspective that can put off many French people, as birthdays are important in France: “In other countries, we celebrate the collective more. But culturally, in France, we want to celebrate individuals. This mark of recognition is very important for everyone ”, observes psychotherapist Catherine Aimelet-Périssol *.

So for some, it is out of the question to let the confinement rot this special day. "Faced with the situation, they are creative and have decided to reinvent their way of celebrating the event," says Catherine Aimelet-Périssol. This is the case of Nadia, who will celebrate her birthday this Friday and responded to our call for witnesses: "I invited my friends to my" anni-confinement "for a simultaneous video sharing on Messenger and I will blow out my candles live with them, my husband and my son! " No question of letting the party fly either for Coralie, 26: “I made my Nutella birthday tiramisu, blown out my candles visio with my loved ones. And I ate a good raclette, ”she says.

"Everyone was in disguise, we played games with interposed screens"

And for those who change the decade, the pressure to make the party a success is even greater: "The symbolic dimension of the birthday is even stronger for them and they feel the need to inaugurate this new decade", notes Catherine Aimelet- Perissol. This is the case of Fred: “I was 40 years old in quarantine! Thanks to social media, I had the chance to celebrate my birthday with all the people who matter to me. Everyone was in disguise, we played games on screens, which allowed me to have a great evening. ” And to help a loved one change their tens, the entourage does not skimp on attentions, as can be seen by Magali, who has just celebrated her 30th birthday: "All the members of my family recorded a video wishing me a happy birthday . As many tears as in real! " Clara also went out of her way to celebrate her grandmother's 90th birthday: “Everyone was connected on Houseparty. We also sent her a report with family photos via WhatsApp, ”she describes.

Particularly inspired, some have bet on the effect of surprise, like Claire: “For the birthday of our neighbor and friend, we hung garlands and balloons on the fence of her garden. At a specific hour, with the complicity of her daughter, she went out to her garden and we sang "Happy Birthday" and danced. " Julie's partner also decided to surprise her: "She asked me to go get ready, as for a birthday party, and when I came back to our living room, my friends were there on video". Ditto for Soury: "We made a banner on the balcony with my 5 year old son for a classmate who lives across the street from us".

"I feel like I have had even more messages than usual"

For the gifts, since they could not offer them directly, some adapted to the situation: "I received letters and a bouquet of flowers," says Maria. As for Sabrina, she received a Google Play gift card "to occupy me during the confinement". Another very appropriate gift that Séverine will give her daughter: “I will arrange to put a surprise basket in the yard for me while I go shopping. "Stéphanie also thought of an original gift for a friend:" I opted to send a birthday package containing a helium balloon (better than flowers), story that she has a surprise despite everything ”. Jonathan was particularly touched by the attentions of the neighbors towards his daughter Athénaïs, 4 years old: “They came to deposit small gifts on the landing (puzzle, balloons, notebooks to draw, birthday cards and drawings made by the children of the residence). So in our turn, we placed on their landing a part of the birthday cake "rainbow unicorn" to share this moment of solidarity between neighbors.

And some relatives even seem more attentive than usual: “I have the impression that I had even more messages than usual, and in particular a long call with my brother. Usually we don't have that much time, neither he nor I, or we don't take it. I had messages to celebrate my birthday, and it spanned the whole day. ” And for Christelle, this day allowed her to realize how lucky she was: “It allowed me to realize that simple things were the most important. My husband, my daughters, a cake made by them, a few candles out of the bottom of the drawer. And here is the most beautiful birthday, "she says. "People who have a rich inner life and are kind to themselves manage to celebrate themselves or savor the little gestures," says Catherine Aimelet-Périssol.

"It brings back a form of anxiety"

The fact remains that for others, this confined anniversary will leave a bitter taste. As for Cédric: “I had put holidays in February to be sure I could invite people and party. But everything fell into the water ”. Ditto for Sandra: "I celebrated my 40th birthday last Saturday and it was the most horrible of birthdays ... I had deliberately asked for holidays on this weekend for four months to prepare a party ... And finish at 4 at home without being able to cancel my vacation, I hope I will never relive that ”. A disappointment witnessed by Catherine Aimelet-Périssol, during her consultations of the moment: “The anniversary dates are temporal landmarks that are jostled at the moment. It brings up a form of anxiety, especially among those who are very dependent on the positive feedback they receive from others, ”she notes.

And some are already thinking about deconfinement, which will be an opportunity to make up for lost time. "We will celebrate the end of confinement and my 30th birthday at the same time," already plans Marjorie. Maria also prefers to see the glass half full: "In the end, those who celebrate their birthday during confinement will have a birthday that lasts several months, between the party that will be organized and the gifts that will arrive after."

Culture

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* Catherine Aimelet-Périssol is the author of My bible of emotions, Leduc éditions, 23 euros.

  • Containment
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Anniversary
  • Coronavirus
  • Covid 19