Parents also need support-Challenge abuse with science March 25 14:21
Why abuse children? I've mentioned twice that everyone can be a perpetrator of abuse when several factors overlap. In this third article, I will talk about one of the causes of abuse, an approach to reduce the "difficulty of raising children". This factor can be mitigated by intervening and assisting third parties. Support efforts have begun in various places to prevent the behavior of parents who do not know how to raise children or parents who do not feel affection for their children end up in abuse.
(Saitama Broadcasting Reporter Natsuko Hamahira)
Learn how to interact with children
Kumi Kuroda, a brain scientist studying the causes of abuse, which was taken up two times before, the last time. Currently, we are working with other researchers, psychiatrists, psychologists, and other groups to discuss ways to expand the system for providing programs that support parents and support parent-child relationships nationwide.
One of the programs that Kuroda and his colleagues are paying attention to is PCIT (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy), a behavior therapy that was developed in the United States based on psychological knowledge and aimed at restoring parent-child attachment. This is a program where parents learn how to act while actually experiencing it, and are conducted at clinics in Tokyo.
The participating parents and children enter the room with the magic mirror. The psychiatrist who is in charge of treatment monitors the situation from a separate room through a magic mirror. Parents wear earphones in their ears, and receive instructions from doctors in separate rooms, etc., through transceivers on how to act.
I interviewed a mother in her 40s who raised a 3-year-old son. When she was a child, she said she had no memory of praise from her parents and was repeatedly hurting words. I didn't know how to face my son.
On this day, I learned how to give “good instructions” as a parent and what to do when the child obeys the instructions.
The child started playing with toys.
When play started and the moment of calm down, the doctors instructed the mother to tell the child, "Gently put the toys in the box." He told them to wait for five seconds without saying anything until the child took action.
Then the child gently left the toys in the box.
In addition, her mother praised her son, saying, "Thank you for doing well quietly," as the doctor told me. My son looked good.
It seems like a normal exchange, but for mothers who have grown up without any experience of being praised by their parents, this is the first opportunity to understand and experience the basic process of raising children and the positive response of their children. Was.
What you learn at PCIT is skills to improve your relationship with your child, how to give effective instructions, and how to respond when your child receives instructions.
In particular,
1. Give praise not only for “specific praise”-> “I was able to draw well,” but also for specific points that were good about children's actions and what they made, such as “work hard, connect and draw on the tracks”.
2 "Repeat" → repeat what the child says.
3. “Explanation of behavior” → If the child's behavior is appropriate, explain the behavior specifically with the child as the subject. "○ -chan runs a car toy."
Parents and children can improve relationships through these interactions, focusing on the positive aspects of their behavior.
On the other hand, avoid questions, orders and criticism. Parents and children can learn from each other how to engage appropriately by focusing on the appropriate behavior of the child and actively ignoring inappropriate behavior such as teasing the child. .
The interviewed mother says she has taken the program 16 times. "I've learned for the first time how to compliment my child by participating in this program. The child has come to listen to me," he said.
Support whole parent and child
However, this program can only support those who are willing to take it for themselves. Kuroda and his colleagues believe that to really prevent abuse, supporters need to "go out" to parents who are struggling to raise children.
When I (a reporter) asked Mr. Kuroda's collaborator if such support was possible, I was introduced to the efforts of a visiting nursing care company in Tokyo.
I visited the Yen Group in Tachikawa, Tokyo. Here we provide home nursing care for people with mental illness.
Some parents are at risk of leaving or hurt their children. On this day, a single mother's home visited by nurse Takayo Ando was checking the mother's condition from the room and casual conversation.
It is said that the mother has schizophrenia and falls asleep when she feels depressed, and sometimes she can no longer care for her daughter. We talk to Mr. Ando, who visits once a week, about minor worries and concerns about child care.
Her mother was having trouble preparing her daughter for elementary school to enter school. Ando did not deny her mother's worries, but kept listening to her feelings.
Then, I could hear a positive episode that my daughter gave me a colorfully colored shell saying "To my best mom".
Ando understands her daughter's appearance and is trying to support her whole child.
A place to unwind
The special feature of this company is that it provides not only nursing home visits but also places where parents with mental illness can interact. It is not eligible for medical fees, but it is said to have started this initiative to improve the quality of support.
At the monthly exchange meeting, mothers and their children with mental illness gather in the office.
When I interviewed in January, eight mothers gathered. Nurses and mental health workers also talked about their current situation and thoughts for two hours.
Tea and sweets were served at the venue and the atmosphere was peaceful, but it was the true intentions of naked mothers.
"I just can't love children. I'm raising my child only with a sense of responsibility."
"After giving birth, I became mentally ill and my family collapsed."
I was surprised at this "honest", but I felt that I was also able to think of myself during child care. For me, raising children can be frustrating because it is a series of things that do not work as expected.
The mothers who gathered nodded to this “honest” with “Yeah, yeah”. No one criticizes his mother here. Everyone was listening to their real intentions.
Mothers who have come up with the "true intention" that are difficult to talk to their neighbors' moms about their illness and difficulty in raising children. The mothers' gathering was a place where they talked about themselves, organized their feelings, and heard and sympathized with mothers in the same circumstances.
The mother who interviewed said, "I can get rid of it by talking here about my usual feelings."
In fact, nurses are playing with the children at another venue while their mothers are talking. This is to check the child's growth and points of concern.
Then, after everything is over, the staff will remain, reporting on the mother's condition and the child's condition, and using them for future nursing home visit services.
Even instinct doesn't work
Mr. Kuroda mentioned at the beginning of the lecture sometimes touches on a lecture on child care.
"It's an instinct to raise a child, but it doesn't always work out of the box. Are you able to have your first sex well?
It's a bit of a stimulating expression, but it can be difficult for anyone to raise a child, especially if they have been abused or have a mental illness. That's why Kuroda feels that helping parents is important.
In my previous interviews, I feel that child abuse is the result of parents facing various backgrounds and difficulties in living. Parenting can be frustrating and irritating due to a series of things that are not going well.
In such a case, there are many options to support, and if any one is delivered to the person, the parent's frustration may be subsided.
Eliminating abuse is not only about helping to protect children, but it is also necessary to spread the mechanisms that support parents in various ways to those who need them anywhere in Japan.
Natsuko Hamahira, Saitama Broadcasting Station Reporter