- In France, every pregnant woman benefits from medical monitoring of her pregnancy. Childbirth preparation courses are also planned.
- In contrast, very few women are prepared for postpartum - postpartum - which corresponds to the weeks following childbirth.
- In addition to baby blues , even postpartum depression, this period of vulnerability is accompanied by physical discomfort not always anticipated. A lack of information which reinforces the suffering of young mothers. 20 Minutes gave the floor to its readers to find out more.
"I kept crying, my episiotomy was hurting me badly, I was walking in a duck and I didn't dare go to the bathroom because it was so painful," recalls Marie. Welcome to the postpartum world, where you change your own diapers in addition to those of your baby. This period following childbirth, also known as “post-partum”, is a time during which young mothers can be very vulnerable and for which they are often little or even unprepared. Why ? Because it is not glamorous? This is what one might think, when an advertisement for special postpartum hygienic protections was deprived of broadcast at the beginning of February during the Oscar party in the United States, because it was deemed too raw (yet, it was not). A reality that has been overlooked that has made many women jump and has given birth to the hashtag #MonPostPartum, a movement for the liberation of speech on social networks.
So 20 Minutes gave the floor to its readers, many of whom regretted this still very strong taboo. The goal is not to unnecessarily scare or drop the birth rate. Recall that for some (lucky), the postpartum lives without problems. Like Audrey, for whom "everything went very well". But for others, this period is harder to go through, especially when you don't know what to expect. Hence the importance of talking about it, being informed, and thus making the first step towards a better prepared, therefore more serene postpartum.
"I walked like Quasimodo for days"
If you have taken your nat 'science lessons, you will remember that the baby, this little being who can briskly exceed 4 kg, is born by coming out naturally through a particularly small orifice. Inevitably, this "passage" leaves traces. After a painful episiotomy, Mathilde, a mother since August, says: "I lost blood for six weeks and I walked like Quasimodo for days! I could only sit on my pregnancy balloon. Added to this is urine leakage and the gases that escape on their own. ” And we should not forget "hemorrhoids," said Charlotte, who "did not know what it was before birth. However, we suffer in 30% of births by vaginal route! "
And it sometimes happens that the "inconveniences" do not stop there. "I had almost the total," recalls Dounia. Besides the extreme fatigue, which seems almost ridiculous next to the rest, there were vaginal pain for almost a month, breast pain related to breastfeeding, with crevices in the nipples, but also back pain because of anal fissures! All this in addition to having a belly that looks like chewing gum, to no longer look like much due to lack of time for makeup or hair, and having to be on the alert H24 for your baby. That… and having to wear diapers. ”
"I was going to do my shopping with this big layer that made noise"
Because if women knew that they would change thousands of diapers by becoming a mother, many of them did not know that they should wear them after childbirth. “For my first baby, I didn't know anything about postpartum, Ania plant. So it was when I got home, after maternity, that I discovered fatigue, nights without sleep, trenches [these contractions that help the uterus to return to its normal size], the pain of episiotomy when you take a shower, back pain and so on. But also this huge blood loss! I was going to do my shopping with this big layer that made noise when I walked, I was ashamed, it was hell ».
These blood losses are the lochia, which appear after childbirth. They are first bright red before turning brown, are more or less liquid, and can sometimes evacuate in the form of clots. They can last only a few days, or sometimes span several weeks. One thing Marion had a hard time living with: "The most annoying thing is the lack of suitable protections for women who lose a lot of blood, I had to wear diapers for the elderly for urinary incontinence. . It was really hard psychologically ”.
"This impression of being an empty shell, that her belly is no longer used for anything"
The postpartum is also a hormonal and emotional roller coaster. In addition to physical manifestations, it is accompanied by a sudden drop in hormones, fatigue related to childbirth, and short nights of young parents. A most trying cocktail. “My baby blues lasted three weeks, remembers Mathilde. Crying from evening to morning for everything and nothing, extreme sensitivity, and above all this impression of being an empty shell, that her belly is no longer used for anything. In this context, it is complicated to make the link between what we had in our womb a short time before and this little baby that we then have in our arms ”.
A feeling shared by Marie: “We prepare for nine months to have a beautiful baby and to be the happiest in the world, except that nobody tells us that it can be hell, says the young mother. I kept crying, my body made me suffer so much. We think that the pain is finished after birth but no, and with fatigue, it is more difficult to bear. ” For the young woman, this state of great vulnerability has disrupted her branding in her new role as mother. "I was completely confused, I found my baby ugly and I was ashamed to think that! And those around me did not understand why I was so bad. I only wanted to jump out the window. Fortunately, my husband was great and it went by as quickly as it came! But I think that during the preparation for childbirth classes, we should talk a little more about it because that's also what it is, pregnancy. And it can end dramatically for some, simply because they were not accompanied enough, ”says Marie.
"I said to myself" either I am the weak or I was not told everything ""
And it is precisely this lack of information and support that made the experience so painful for many mothers. "Nobody really tells you what to expect," says Maria, mother of an "adorable little boy" born a few weeks ago. "Pregnant, I read a lot, attended the preparation for childbirth classes, talked with the women in my family, my friends, mothers, but not a word about" after ". Now, how do we know if these pains are normal, if these blood clots are normal, if this hard chest is normal, if we are told nothing? This is what scares the most: not knowing. There are thousands of websites, blogs, books on pregnancy and childbirth, but an interstellar void about "after" ". Same observation for Elodie: "No doctor or midwife had told me about this period". Saloua, she sank into her suffering. "The fatigue, the loneliness, the screaming baby, the shame: I ended up having a postpartum depression," she explains. During all my pregnancy, I was pampered by the medical staff, but after the birth, nothing left, we let you down! "
The postpartum is hardly if Amandine knew the term. “I only heard it two or three times during my pregnancy. But when I found myself in it, I said to myself: "either it is I who am weak, incapable and bad mother, or I was not told everything"! Everything is passed over in silence or trivialized. Why talk about "baby blues" when it is so much more than a few tears? Postpartum depression affects many young mothers. I find it serious not to have been really prepared for what awaited me. Today, we must breastfeed, be a perfect mother, not complain, smile like a miss! We are judged on all sides and we dare not ask for help because we believe we are void. I believe that everything must be reviewed regarding motherhood and the preparation for this postpartum: to be informed is to be better prepared! "
But "fortunately, it eventually passes and it does not prevent us from having other children," reassures Dounia, pregnant with her second child. And "when we say that we forget, it's not completely false, and that's good for that matter, otherwise we wouldn't do it again", jokes Fafa, for whom "the second time went very well ".
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