"We want to tell you about an ordinary life made difficult and extraordinary by the mere fact of being fat." Thus begins Daria Marx, my life in large , documentary broadcast on France 2 this Tuesday at 10:35 pm and on the platform of France Television until April 26, in the Infrared box. We follow the life of five fat people, Anouch, Guillaume, Eva, Sophia and Crystal, and also Daria Marx therefore, a feminist activist and co-founder of the collective Gras Politique, through their galleys to sit on the train, find a job , dress or even heal.
This “intimate story of the fat and fat people” brings down a number of prejudices, starting with the fact that losing weight is a matter of will. 20 Minutes interviewed Daria Marx, author and character of the film.
Your documentary tells the difficulties of life for fat people: in love life, at work, at the doctor, to dress, to move. What was the most difficult for you?
The most difficult for us to live with is medical grossophobia, it directly impacts our lives, it puts us in distress when we need help, it adds to the anxiety of a medical situation the anxiety of mistreat in a cabinet. One day a gynecologist wanted to give me an ultrasound and she got angry, she told me that she couldn't see anything in this "fat cave". She let me leave in tears from her closet ... When in the waiting room you can't sit you already tell yourself that this is not a good sign. And after the GP, many doctors do not have armbands to take the tension of fat people, or scales that stop at 120 kilos. There is very little material suitable for people over 120 kilos. There are also surgeons who refuse to operate, or PMAs who are refused to people who have a BMI greater than 30. Because pregnancies are declared as at risk, and therefore we consider that it is a loss of money…
There is a scene at the beginning with Eva Perez-Bello, on the train, in first class, and we understand that in second class it is complicated… Transport is also hell?
The second is possible but at the cost of pain. Nothing is done for templates that exceed the standard, it always returns us to the idea that we are not welcome. You have to sneak between the rows, remove the armrests otherwise you are caught in the seats, you have to negotiate with a neighbor so that he lifts his armrest, we have lots of little strategies. Some airlines have chosen to charge people they deem too large for a second seat. This is a real problem of discrimination. Sometimes we end up traveling standing in a wagon-bar, or on the benches between two wagons, because we don't want to travel with the sighs or looks of people who will judge you each time you raise your arm or ankle . I prefer to sacrifice my physical comfort to my mental comfort.
There is a cry from the heart in the documentary, when you say that you can not go on that we continue to talk about obesity "only in terms of diet and sport". We don't treat the causes of obesity, we only attack the symptoms ...
Completely. We attack the obese rather than obesity. Nobody wonders why we eat too much. It is easier to intervene by telling us “stop eating” or “eat less”. This obscures the real causes of obesity, and it allows spending less money, saying "eat less", because otherwise we would have to reimburse genetic research, access to healthy food for families, therapies ... The obesity and unemployment maps overlap. Obesity is born from precariousness. We are also starting to gain weight because we have trauma, that we are the victim of incest, violence in our education. And then there is a genetic factor: you are more likely to be fat if you have had a large parent or grandparent. The speech we always hear is "go less to Mc Do and jog", I've been told this for 38 years. But it is not a question of will. A person who weighs 150 kilos and goes to the swimming pool, he has the will. The problem is that the mechanisms of food are complex. If it were so simple there would be no more obesity.
We understand in the documentary that for you, obesity was created by the anxieties that your mother transmitted to you…
My mother was anorexic, she still is. She thought being fat was the worst thing in the world, and when she had a daughter she said to herself that her daughter shouldn't be fat. She started watching what I ate very early on, and it turned out the opposite of what she wanted. I developed eating disorders early on. When you look at the photos when I was little I was not fat. But the deprivations, the remarks give you troubles, and you learn to manage your emotions with the prohibition that is food. I held it against my mother. At 18 years old I had a conversation with her where I said to her "if you speak once again with me about weight, I never speak to you again about life". It created a chill, but it allowed a discussion that lasted for years. It took a lot of work to admit that she had a problem with the food. But we made an interesting journey because today we can talk about it calmly, recognizing what happened without blaming ourselves.
You also have this terrible sentence: "If I hadn't gained this weight I would have died"
During my adolescence my parents' divorce was very violent, my father abandoned me. People would have scarified themselves, my solution was to eat in secret. This weight is the mark of my story, at one point I was forced to manage like that, while eating. I am not proud of it, but I do not blame myself for not having been able to do otherwise.
Paradoxically, weight also brings positive things. You say it made you very free.
I quickly understood that I would never be in the contest of the most beautiful in the class, or the best undermined. At first it hurts not to be able to be within the norm. Then you resign yourself, and then finally you also find the strength to really be yourself. Because anyway no one is waiting for you to be in the norm ...
Big is an identity?
It is part of my identity yes. Society has always told me that I was fat. It's the first thing people see in my house. So I built myself like this. Since I was little. I don't have a choice, it's not like changing my hair color. Like the fact that I am defined as a woman. I do not even know if it is an identity for everyone, the word "identity" it really claims, but I have no choice.
If there was only one measure to put in place, a single public policy, what would be, as a priority?
Mandatory welcome and large body mobilization courses in training for carers, nurses and health personnel. Healthcare workers also suffer from not knowing how to mobilize a large body. If we explained how it works, it would already be a big step forward. And if we gave them stuff!
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- Obesity
- Television
- Discrimination